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Help me become the most legendary gunner ever
Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 16th, 2004 12:54 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I've decided that if I go to law school, I want to be a gunner. But not just an average gunner. I want to become a legend in my own time. I want people to look back on my tenure at school with the mixture of awe and amazement. I want them to think 'Damn, now that boy was a GUNNER!'
What is the best way to go about doing this? I don't want to be the WORST gunner, just the most legendary. I also need to graduate and have fair employment prospects afterwards, so I can't become a legend doing things that will make the law school angry at me. |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:56 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness Keep your hand up the entire class. Even while you are being called upon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345108) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:57 PM Author: motley skinny woman yea, even when talking. perhaps even when walking down the hall or taking a piss at the urinal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345118) |
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Date: October 26th, 2007 1:55 AM Author: Sienna marvelous pocket flask ROFL. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8815174) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:56 PM Author: motley skinny woman for starters, what about bringing a small stand into class that allows you to always have your hand up w/o straining? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345110) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:57 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness you complete me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345116) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:58 PM Author: motley skinny woman you complete ME! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345120) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:57 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage YESSSSSSSSSS! THAT would be legend status. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345117) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:57 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage talk to teacher after every class.
and always talk cases with your fellow law students, at bar review, at lunch, if you run into them at the grocery store. |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 12:21 PM Author: Godawful Spectacular Abode Feces That describes every gunner I know. Not legendary at all. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5147242) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:12 AM Author: lascivious frum market police squad it is necessary, so it belongs on the list, but not sufficient, so it must be accompanied by everything else (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588268) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:30 AM Author: gold menage This is very detailed thank u (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588637) |
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Date: August 10th, 2005 5:23 AM Author: underhanded hot box office cuck memorize the names and personal biographies of all COA judges and higher; at the very minimum, get used to referring to feeder judges by first name and/or a nickname you invent ("the Luttigator"). work in references to these people as frequently as possible in social settings. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3547803) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:15 AM Author: Dun Pervert Dopamine I like this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180236) |
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Date: August 31st, 2006 4:41 PM Author: Rose kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6533829) |
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Date: August 31st, 2006 4:43 PM Author: concupiscible bronze new version theater stage Odd, I was just about to bump this also. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6533863) |
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Date: August 31st, 2006 4:50 PM Author: Rose kitty haha, I saw the "What is a gunner" thread and had to bump this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6533962) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 2:18 PM Author: racy center windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6906972) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 4:50 PM Author: Adulterous submissive rigpig How to be a Gunner... here at my school, we have a very distinct breed of gunner that i'll call the "organizational" There was one gunner study gropu and one of the guys decided to start a "society"...like International Relations Society...
then the other co-gunners in his study group go jealous so 2 others formed their own societies...mind you, no one joined these societies except the co-gunners...
so now, the 3 founders of the socieites dress up in suits every day for class b/ecause they ahve "meetings" with deans etc. for funding/events etc....
Then, to top it all off, this "founder" started getting business cards made "Joe Schmo, President & Founder of the Save the Dolphins and Law Society"
So in my book, the hallmarks of an exceptional gunner...more than average, you have to, at a minimum: 1) Start your Society, pick a random topic no one is interesited ...like the "X and Law Society"... 2) Wear business wear every day, carry a lawyer's briefcase 3) Raise your hand, debate the professor, debate your fellow students, and stay after class every day to bug the professor by asking asining questions about their published works 4)MUST CARRY A ROLLY BAG....AND use a security cord to "protect" your laptop in the library 5) Go to EVERY EVENT at school just to schmooze and hob nob 6) MUSt MUST MUST carry business cards to hand out...and must actively hand them out...
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Date: September 16th, 2004 12:59 PM Author: motley skinny woman also, in the common area, practice giving class responses. be sure to start each one with 'yes, professor...' etc... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345125) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 4:52 PM Author: exhilarant flushed institution LULZ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8899122) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:00 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness suit and tie to every class.
Stand up to talk.
Criticize others answers, even if you agree with them.
Offer hypotheticals during every class.
Pose questions to the class |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 3:23 AM Author: Cream Candlestick Maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110637) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 6:35 PM Author: Brass Alcoholic Cuckoldry Yeah, that was brilliant.
If they give an answer you dislike reply "I'm trying to help you learn but you're making it very difficult for me." |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 4:53 PM Author: Violet Scourge Upon The Earth This post has it all. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8899126) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:02 PM Author: motley skinny woman sit behind a tiny little podium you bring to class (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345132) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:03 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness Videotape every class.
Have a rolly bag
Bring in every book or article the professor has ever written to every class |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:04 PM Author: motley skinny woman yes, quote the professor's 20 year old articles in class (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345140) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:17 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage HOW could i forget the roly backpack! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345457) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:05 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit casually mention that you've read everything the professor has published and you're three weeks ahead in the reading, also your outline is already 75 pages long two weeks into the semester, but you feel like you should be doing more. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345144) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:06 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Would it also help if I got super-buff? I could be the buff gunner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345147) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:07 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness That isnt necessairy. In fact, it would help more if you looked super nerdy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345149) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:08 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio What if I became extremely buff, but dressed and talked like a nerd - like Urkel in the later seasons of Family Matters, except yet more buff? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345153) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:22 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage then you would be mike tyson (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345487) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:08 PM Author: motley skinny woman yes buff with really tight clothes. if you take all this advice, you'll be well on your way (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345152) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:09 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit not just tight clothes, they have to be ill-fitting AND tight. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345164) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:11 PM Author: motley skinny woman that'll work. also, if you can somehow work it in, mention your muscles in class. perhaps make some kind of exercise analogy or weightlifting hypo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345170) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit but of course, it wouldn't be a proper hypo if you didn't include your own totally irrelevant experiences. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345175) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:15 PM Author: motley skinny woman this is correct (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345184) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:22 AM Author: Histrionic parlour mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180271) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:49 AM Author: Purple range stock car The gunner is too conscientious to make such a silly mistake. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110217) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:10 PM Author: motley skinny woman randomly approach people during lunch and ask them if they have any questions for you regarding contracts etc... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345167) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:23 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage this is a great one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345493) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio What if I have one rolly bag for each class? I can use my buff muscles to drag two of them along while I carry the other two. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345178) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:15 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness Have a different computer for each one as well. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345183) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 2:39 PM Author: bateful church building No, just one, but do either of the following:
1. Make it a desktop with a flatscreen monitor that you set up at each class.
2. Have a separate external hard drive for each class, each with a label on the side with names like, "The Tortinator," and "Contracts Machine." |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 5:51 AM Author: glassy public bath yarmulke underrated. I lol'd at tortinator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049385) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:15 PM Author: motley skinny woman you could always keep some weights in your locker. do curls while practicing recitations during lunch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345182) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:15 PM Author: effete copper twinkling uncleanness Bring in a desktop computer with huge speakers and set it up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345185) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:34 AM Author: gold menage 175 cause im drunk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588655) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:18 PM Author: demanding hominid depressive The worst gunner during UG always prefaced all their stories with "when I worked at Goldman Sachs" or "when I went to Fraaaance." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345193) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:33 PM Author: pale appetizing library Did he go on to law school? Cause there's a guy who says the Goldman Sachs line here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345245) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:34 PM Author: demanding hominid depressive no this was a girl. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345250) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:37 PM Author: demanding hominid depressive we had a mckinsey gunner too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345262) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:38 PM Author: pale appetizing library Why are there people from Goldman Sachs and McKinsey in undergrad? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345266) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: demanding hominid depressive summer analysts. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345318) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:50 PM Author: pale appetizing library Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345325) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 2:49 PM Author: maroon bat shit crazy brunch Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200370) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:36 AM Author: gold menage Nice repeat warren. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588659) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:50 PM Author: pale appetizing library Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345326) |
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Date: September 9th, 2006 6:55 PM Author: Trip cocky giraffe temple Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon.
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:15 AM Author: Harsh Laughsome State Awesome dude! Nice way to be part of the group.... TWO MOTHERFUCKING YEARS LATER (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588283) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:17 AM Author: lascivious frum market police squad be nice, he's only a 0L
Edit: at PCL |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:31 PM Author: excitant sapphire step-uncle's house Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524888) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 7:42 AM Author: topaz cruise ship Awesome dude! Nice way to be part of the group.... THREE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS LATER (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049447) |
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Date: March 27th, 2008 11:07 PM Author: bateful church building Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9542169) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:23 AM Author: Histrionic parlour mexican Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180278) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:35 AM Author: Fragrant chestnut casino jew DOUBLEPOSTPWN3D (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180355) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:52 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon.
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Date: February 25th, 2006 3:33 AM Author: hairraiser school toilet seat Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180784) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 5:31 AM Author: charismatic ticket booth Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5181044) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:11 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239558) |
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Date: April 21st, 2006 1:26 AM Author: Vibrant son of senegal Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5621571) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2006 9:33 PM Author: exciting theatre EVERYBODY DANCE NOW (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5709784) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 2:51 PM Author: lake parlor national security agency EVERYBODY DANCE NOW (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6907169) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:33 PM Author: onyx startling french chef Lame. Though bragging about going to France is lamer, especially at a school where it's probably not uncommon.
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:36 PM Author: Passionate zombie-like den anyone who says "goldman sachs" is a fucking douche. you gotta say "goldman" to have *some* credibility. hth |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:35 PM Author: pale appetizing library Ask questions on cases that weren't assigned.
Make yourself the resident expert of the law of some foreign country, say Uganda, and provide relevant links to whatever you happen to be studying that day.
Read all of the professor's law review articles. During class, argue with the professor about why his thesis in each of them was completely wrong.
Bring a noxious food to class with you each day, and eat it while other students are talking. Soup or fish would be good ones to try.
Make a 500 page outline. Tell everyone about it, and make it known that you're not going to share it and are terrified it will be stolen.
Keep a chart estimating each of your classmate's odds of being in the top 10%. Make it roughly the size of a seating chart and update it whenever someone talks in class.
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:37 PM Author: beady-eyed regret location curry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345259) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:37 PM Author: pale appetizing library That would just be cruel ;) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345261) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:39 PM Author: beady-eyed regret location actually, expanding on that a bit, he could become an expert on the laws of India and kind of have people wondering if he's a wannabe poonjab. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345270) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:40 PM Author: pale appetizing library That would be perfect, assuming the OP is visibly not Indian and lets everyone know he's never even been to India. It would also be great if some of his knowledge of Indian law was patently and correctably wrong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345276) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:15 PM Author: Talking Cerebral Selfie Space Ugh. We had this kid in my high school english class that brought food everyday. He never brought normal stuff either, it'd be like gefilte fish in soy milk or lots of milky stuff in these little jars. The whole room would just reek. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345451) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:42 PM Author: Talented misunderstood partner mad-dog skullcap carry a nalgene bottle. I just find those annoying. but it has to be small, so that you're constantly going to the water fountain to fill it up. this will just be one more subtle way to irk your classmates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345284) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:43 PM Author: beady-eyed regret location That's just annoying, that isn't gunner behavior.
a true gunner wouldn't miss a second of class. |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:48 PM Author: Talented misunderstood partner mad-dog skullcap not during class, just visibly out in the hallway --gunners tend to have more annoying/irksome habits than just talking too much in class. OP needs to create a neverending supply of annoying habits to add to his mystique (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345312) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:49 PM Author: demanding hominid depressive cover it with decals too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345321) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:51 PM Author: Talented misunderstood partner mad-dog skullcap preferably ones with the name of your law school. also, constantly talk about your law school's prestige with your classmates and wear t-shirts with its name everywhere you go. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345329) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:53 PM Author: pale appetizing library Even better: do all of what you said, but with a law school ranked one spot higher than yours. Tell everyone you fell in love with that school at first sight, and are dying to transfer there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345339) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:57 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Would it help if I got school logos and such tattooed into my forearms? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345363) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:58 PM Author: pale appetizing library That would make you the ultimate gunner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345371) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:00 PM Author: Talented misunderstood partner mad-dog skullcap haha yes. also, make sure you have a LS class ring made up for yourself before classes start. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345381) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:08 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit if you are at a non-top 14 you should refrain from doing this, and instead substitute by telling everyone how you plan to transfer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345430) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:12 PM Author: pale appetizing library I think it would be more toolish to focus on one particular transfer school, and do the tattooing and such for that school - especially if the school was ranked very slightly higher and wasn't in the same region (a person at UC Davis obsessed with UWisconsin). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345442) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:16 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit toolish yes... but the true gunner wears the harvard law sweatshirt to his first day of classes at UIUC. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345453) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 8:35 PM Author: contagious psychic dysfunction underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8528994) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:52 PM Author: Talented misunderstood partner mad-dog skullcap here's a good one: volunteer to be on all the student advisory committees and then do stuff like spend the party money on study sessions (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345338) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:53 PM Author: pale appetizing library Yikes, that might increase your odds of being beaten to death to unaccetpable levels. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345345) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:58 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit the ultimate gunner dies for his cause and is remembered as a martyr by future generations of gunners. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345367) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:41 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Onlye then doth he becometh a Legende (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110173) |
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Date: April 7th, 2007 7:18 PM Author: Heady tripping multi-billionaire This made me snort whilst I laughed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#7891235) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 1:59 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I think I'll go for a strange fusion of gunnerdom and redneck madness. For instance, I could preface my hypos with lines like 'When I was wrasslin' gators down in Nola...' or 'It's like the last time I was out bear hunting...' or 'The last time I was in prison...'
I think it would really make people wonder. |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:02 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit you could further ccnfuse the issue by telling the smaller men in the class that they've got "real purty mouths" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345390) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:04 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Oh, Lord. How far can you go with sexual innuendo in class and not get in trouble? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345403) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:06 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit it's a good question... instead of directly fingering classmates maybe you could just offer extremely disturbing hypos in crim law that are based on your obviously sordid mountain-man past. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345412) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:08 PM Author: pale appetizing library Asking lots of questions about prison rape scenarios in crim class would be a good start. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345424) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:10 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit now supposin' this man was trespassin' on my property, and he steals my prize hog, and he agrees to pay me back with his mouth, am i gonna be held liable if he gets herpes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345438) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:17 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio To some extent, I wonder what the answer to that question actually is. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345461) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:19 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit rowan... does the man have a duty to warn? or does the fact that the action is illegal (prostitution) preclude liability? help us out here... i'm working on three weeks of law school... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345467) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:21 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I'm going to guess that you'd be able to pursue at least a tort action of battery, nothwithstanding your attempted theft. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345485) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:23 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit is it battery if he agreed to blow the guy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345489) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:24 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I guess it depends on whether the cocksucker assumes the risk of herpes when he agrees to suck, or if the cocksuckee has a duty to inform. That's a point of law I simply don't know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345500) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:23 PM Author: pale appetizing library I'm actually not sure if you have a duty to warn or not. I've seen liability found in a case where a man lied about his fertility and the woman had an ectopic pregnancy, and know of assault and attempted murder cases for those who failed to disclose HIV status.
I don't think the fact that this takes place during an illegal act precludes liability. After all, if you assault a prostitute in some other way, you're still liable for harming her. I suppose you could argue consent, but the prostitute isn't consenting to being infected.
More likely the man with herpes could simply claim ignorance of infection. Then it's negligence rather than an intentional tort, and with that it's easy to argue that the prostitute was just as negligent. |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:24 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit sweet. looks like sore-mouth is going home empty handed! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345504) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:25 PM Author: pale appetizing library Of course if the guy was being treated for herpes, he couldn't raise that defense. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345508) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:28 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit this guy lives in a mountain shack.... he dont' have none of them city boy doctors... what if the suckee was informed by the sucker? would the fact that he was caught stealing something from a hillbilly and agreed to pay the hillbilly with sexual services create an inference of coercion? that's the other thing i was thinking about... i don't think he really has an opportunity to decline here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345521) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: pale appetizing library Could be rape, but it's borderline. Depends what the mountain man said and did before the other guy offered to repay him for the theft. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345543) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:37 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit cool... thanks for the responses. now i can be the sick weirdo in crim law. people will dread seeing me follow them out of the library when it closes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345563) |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:25 PM Author: French anal ceo Fucking awesome. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3524127) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:24 PM Author: Bonkers aquamarine dog poop trailer park TOTALLY irrelevant subject matter from other academic disciplines as well as life experiences. And I mean purely and totally not even remotely relevant. In grad school, in a literature seminar, we had a gunner who, quite literally, prefaced just a few of his comments/questions towards the professor (who was like a faculty emeritus or some crazy influential thing to boot) with the following:
"Now I assume you know little about particle physics, so please allow me to explain the rudiments of it prior to providing my answer..."
"I often asked myself that very question while preparing to sit for my finals at Oxford"
"As a (some name i don't recall) Scholar, I've clearly given this thought..."
"Having minored in physics, I think i can bring forth an interesting perspective to this issue, as the hard sciences are often ignored in literature" (this one caused me to almost shit myself). |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:24 PM Author: pale appetizing library The last one is awesome. Nothing like pontificating on a subject you only minored in. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345503) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: Bonkers aquamarine dog poop trailer park the last one was part of a discussion on Morrison's "Beloved". The professor utilized the text as a springboard to discuss the postmodern evolution of the 'ghost' in literature, at one point suggesting that its intimately tied to the self-making prevalent in Gatsby and its predecessors, but does so in a reverted manner; the past remakes the present as opposed to the present remaking the past....some shit like that. She then added that the interesting thing at work was the remaking was real and tangible, while apparitions are not. Well, he elected at this point to get on his high horse and tell her and the class how this whole perspective was perhaps invalid because particle physics provides a basis for believing that ghosts and such are real...and the rest is history. If you know anyone in the comp lit or liberal studies program at dartmouth, they've likely heard of this guy....there was a BIG fallout from his gunning ways. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345542) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:35 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I mean, I'll go over there and rape him with a barbed dildo if you think it will help. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345549) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:37 PM Author: pale appetizing library His argument was that ghosts were real? In a literature class? Yikes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345559) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:47 PM Author: Bonkers aquamarine dog poop trailer park Not so much that they were real, but he accused this prof (who, while not the chair of the dept, was VERY high ranking) of refusing to allow for the possibility that the the ghost morrison was using could actually exist. He then went on and on about the way that literary crit is a sheltered and dying discipline and that english departments will crumble and go the way of classics depts because they refuse to allow for the input of other academic disciplines.
She tried for fifteen minutes to explain to him that what was at issue here wasn't whether the ghost could exist, but how it was being utilized as a literary device. There was a signed petition, formal complaints...i mean, this kid was a nightmare. And, I shit you not, he had a sweatshirt, sweater or jacket on EVERY day of class with the school logo or name displayed prominently. |
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Date: August 9th, 2005 12:34 PM Author: irradiated insecure university Lit gunner are terrible, aren't they? I've come across several as a grad student. There is nothing worse than a three-hour class turning into a four-hour class because a few gunners won't shut up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3539801) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:47 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Amazing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110211) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:10 PM Author: olive mother pistol Indeed. What an inspirational anti-hero. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239546) |
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Date: June 12th, 2006 3:56 PM Author: Aromatic nofapping corn cake generalized bond This makes me want to go back to my old English grad program (which I hated) and hug everyone for not being this guy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5967970) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 2:26 PM Author: fantasy-prone galvanic hissy fit wow... just wow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#1345513) |
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Date: June 26th, 2007 10:57 AM Author: French anal ceo these fucktards are legion in the humanities. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8302395) |
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Date: September 16th, 2004 3:04 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio I think I know what to do - one day, while gunning, I'll get into such a heated and passionate argument with the prof that at the end of my speech, I just puke all over my desk.
But what will make it legendary is when I wipe off my mouth and continue gunning like nothing happened. |
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Date: February 26th, 2005 12:55 PM Author: bistre violent house therapy 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#2212815) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:48 AM Author: Blue native amazing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180452) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:12 AM Author: shivering splenetic legal warrant sanctuary I am absolutely in stiches right now.
1 mother fucking 80 |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:07 PM Author: Thriller Office Voyeur my side hurts from laughing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525437) |
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Date: September 4th, 2007 3:40 AM Author: vivacious charcoal heaven nonpareil. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8598014) |
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Date: May 7th, 2008 11:22 PM Author: Wonderful impertinent incel crackhouse incredible (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9751953) |
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Date: February 26th, 2005 12:22 PM Author: Transparent national (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#2212666) |
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Date: February 26th, 2005 12:28 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle coiffed chad weed whacker Rip snort Cocaine openly in class just so every knows you have an "edge."
Just curse like a sailor. "Seriously, doesn't anyone else think the the fucking Wickard decision is bullshit. Jackson is suck a fucking fag."
When the professor calls on you respond with "never look me in the eye, I'll rip out your heart."
The first time another student disagree with you in class. Wait till class is over and beat them savagely in the hallway.
Use your own experinces in hypos, but only in the context of terrible things you've done. "When this chick from Florida was suing me for extreme emotional distress, you know, because I raped her or whatever, the court found there was no 1332 jurisditon as I was living in Florida at the time."
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 4:11 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Wonderful! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#2922697) |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:01 PM Author: saffron locus The Gunner Bible
1) Wear earned/stolen/borrowed military medals all around campus, no matter what you are wearing (e.g., pin them to your swimming trunks when in the pool).
2) Wear shirts with obscure legal passages printed on them.
3) Never leave home without your roly-bag.
4) At the beginning of every class, just before the prof arrives, remind the class how much you rock. You could do this by yelling out your LSAT/GPA combo, in addition to ranting about your prestige, fact or fiction (ala 174, but increase the douchbaggery. It sounds difficult, I know, but you are shooting for legend)
5) At the end of class, before the prof leaves, turn on the speaker system and offer to tutor you classmates on the lecture they just sat through.
6) Refer to yourself in the 3rd person, but call yourself "learned hand".
7) Take one of those 2-week summer classes at Oxford or Cambridge the summer before you begin, and buy a school ring. You need to have a wide variety of "When I was at______" or "I learned while visiting ______" phrases.
8) Get a personal note taker. Make him/her answer only when you speak. The note take should be a little smaller than you, but dressed exactly the same. Even though you will be taking your own notes, you need to have a backup for any syllables missed while thinking up your brilliant gunner hypos.
9) Distribute your own legal newsletter on campus beginning two weeks before 1L. Bing enough copies to class for everyone. Do not stop the presses until finals. Make sure that the logo looks prestigious.
10) Get your segway souped up. It should sound like a Harley if you are going 12 mph or 2. Be sure to ride it into the classroom, right up to your seat if possible. Let your roly-bag drag from the back, hitting the ankles of those who would stand in your way.
---------------------------
To the poster who suggested that the ultimate gunner bring his own podium, I tip my hat. 180, you bastard. 180. |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:30 PM Author: Fluffy field Fucking impressive. You must be a disguised reg... 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3524170) |
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Date: August 9th, 2005 6:42 AM Author: saffron locus Subject: I am me :) ha ha. Thanks for the compliment, but this is the only nick I have ever used. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3538355) |
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Date: August 10th, 2005 5:45 AM Author: supple main people senate This is a beautiful, beautiful, post. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3547814) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 11:01 AM Author: Up-to-no-good Shrine Community Account http://www.isaccorp.org/whitmore/jharris.pdf http://del.icio.us/tag/point?page=2 http://sueschefftruth.com/uploads/2007/08/Update%20on%20Scheff.pdf http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Sue_Scheff http://www.nowpublic.com/sue-scheff-attacks-fornits-free-speech http://suescheffvcareybock.blogspot.com/ http://www.netscape.com/tag/sue+scheff http://www.xomba.com/who_is_sue_scheff http://sueschefftruth.com/?p=8 http://www.hugg.com/taxonomy/term/1155 http://www.topix.com/forum/phoenix/TII4L182S443J7HFR http://family.netscape.com/story/2007/08/15/child-abuse-alleged-in-green-vs-pure-sue-scheff-lawsuit http://claimid.com/realsuescheff http://www.corank.com/tech/tag/Sue%20Scheff http://www.topix.com/forum/city/new-orleans-la/TKQDNOFG3E97UGF24 http://www.stumbleupon.com/tag/sue-scheff http://www.fornits.com/docs/bullshit.html http://www.topix.net/forum/atlanta/TD3ABGM2IPRD3BK5K http://www.topix.net/forum/city/new-orleans-la/TKQDNOFG3E97UGF24 http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_joomlaboard&Itemid=&func=view&id=2186&catid=13 http://reddit.com/search?q=%22Sue+Scheff%22 http://www.xomba.com/tags/sue_scheff http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=671777&mc=4&forum_id=2 http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=655179&mc=8&forum_id=2 http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=19905 http://www.care2.com/news/member/847797324/451087 http://digg.com/videos/people/Lawsuit_exposes_PURE_Sue_Scheff_Nightmare http://www.ziki.com/en/people/psyborgue http://www.cyroxos.net/articles/Sue.php http://www.corank.com/tech/story/carey-Bock-v-Sue-Scheff http://suescheffsued.74209.free-press-release.com/ http://www.free-press-release.com/news/200708/1187129759.html http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p=277094&sid=e868171e21abd00bc04ad6b3b85f0678 http://politics.reddit.com/info/2e2xd/comments http://suescheffsuescheffsuescheff.blogspot.com/2007/08/sue-scheffs-undocumented-case.html http://es.corank.com/tech/tag/Sue%20Scheff http://babblz.com/search.php?page=2&search=sue+scheff%2C+fornits&tag=true http://twitter.com/greggersh/with_friends http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/267/RipOff0267011.htm
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:52 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button After reading this post, I saved the whole thread as a PDF. Great stuff. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110234) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 3:39 PM Author: saffron locus I'd like to offer an addendum:
The ultimate gunner should never fail to interrupt a classmate who threatens his position. If you are being out "hypo'd" by a fellow gunner, you should conveniently drop your very heavy key-ring, or perhaps cough up a gobs stopper--anything to take away from the other.
To become the top gunner, you should attend many of the events hosted for law students, where employers are NOT present, dressed in a tuxedo; still wearing the military pins, of course, and with your Segway neatly tucked in a corner.
Last, for now, the ultimate gunner should always have a cordless mic system on hand. When everyone is sitting around, discussing how they "feel" about the law, you can quickly and authoritatively make your opinions known. When using this technique, it is usually best to have your note taker on hand with the PC on lexis, and with your outline in hand. |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:17 AM Author: Dun Pervert Dopamine 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180247) |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:07 PM Author: Disrespectful comical garrison This thread made me laugh out loud at least five times.
Classic. |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:33 PM Author: Fluffy field Agreed. 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3524201) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:57 AM Author: Sepia Stirring Nursing Home Sneaky Criminal love_muppet made my eyes water...funniest thread in a while. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180108) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:14 AM Author: shivering splenetic legal warrant sanctuary I literally can't stop laughing.
wow. |
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Date: August 7th, 2005 8:31 PM Author: chrome razzle old irish cottage everywhere that someone tells you that they are applying to for a job, apply there and then tell them while also flaunting your higher gpa/better credentials (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3524187) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 11:26 PM Author: olive mother pistol Unfortunately, I know of at least one person in my 2L class who is doing exactly this. It's like that fucking girly song (from I don't remember where): "Anything you can do, I can do better." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6592752) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 9:25 AM Author: vigorous fanboi annie get your gun (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049584) |
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Date: August 9th, 2005 12:02 PM Author: Big irate brethren tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3539610) |
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Date: August 9th, 2005 12:09 PM Author: lime stage round eye I need some gunner gear. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#3539661) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 12:51 AM Author: hyperventilating area bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5109795) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 12:56 AM Author: Nubile dragon stand up to talk was tcr....that would be legendary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5109840) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:31 AM Author: Well-lubricated Set that'd be truly legendary, lol. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110096) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:25 AM Author: Mind-boggling Buff Site Trump Supporter actual things from one guy in my 1L section:
when prof stops acknowledging your raised hand, in order to let others speak that day, raise both arms and waive hands fervently until called on again.
when prof drops pen on way out of class, pick it up and run after him/her.
run up to the podium at the end of every class in order to continue asking questions.
create hypos involving aliens. |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:59 AM Author: Carnelian bbw holy shit. i think i might know this clown.
what school? (feel free to edit, or just name the person)
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:29 AM Author: Well-lubricated Set Legally change your name to Gunnar Daily. Imagine what people would say. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110090) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:34 AM Author: Fiercely-loyal provocative piazza azn each day wear a three piece suit and equip a pocket watch. When the professor begins to tell a war story about his days clerking or practicing (i.e. you don't have an opportunity to talk), be sure to take out the pocket watch and CLICK it open, shut it, and put it back in your vest. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110117) |
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Date: June 12th, 2006 6:06 PM Author: mahogany titillating stag film degenerate Very underrated- 170 easily. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5969183) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:40 AM Author: electric chocolate jewess church Bring not only your case book to class, but also the paperback supplement that you don't ever need to look at, or the big statute book that everyone just keeps at home. Display them prominently on your desk.
Suggest hypos to the class. Begin with: "Let us suppose..."
When the Prof says something interesting, raise your hand and rephrase what he said disguised as your own comment.
When someone near you talks quietly during class, shush them and give them the look of death.
When someone says something funny during class, don't laugh. Class is much too serious an affair for you to waste time with humor.
Maintain excellent posture throughout class.
Read the full opinions on Lexis before class and then casualy mention that in a question or comment. "I noticed in the full opinion, the court refers to..."
When the person next to you misses something the Professor said and looks at your screen to see what it was, minimize Word.
Outside of class, mention to your classmates that the Professor is "nice, but not particularly bright and a little too focused on black letter law instead of theory."
Identify some obscure federal judge that no one would know of and then mention him in conversation with your classmates, acting like everyone should know who you are talking about: "That's an interesting story about your weekend. By the way, did you like Judge Reynold's opinion on third-party subpoenas that came out last week?"
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:46 AM Author: Well-lubricated Set There's this really old guy who loves to make up hypos in class. It gets annoying. Very classic gunnerish behavior. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110203) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 4:17 AM Author: Cream Candlestick Maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110805) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:11 PM Author: Thriller Office Voyeur "When the person next to you misses something the Professor said and looks at your screen to see what it was, minimize Word."
A guy sitting next to me did this once. I looked at him bewildered and he turned to me, made eye contact, and shrugged. He then waited until I turned away, stunned, before he would un-minimize. |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:46 AM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel Gunner greatness is a thing rarely achieved but oft sought after. The failings of those that have come before you have provided Gunner Historians, like myself, with ample advice to dispense.
1. Know The Dress - Many former gunners have attempted to "half-gun" (We call it Half Cocked in the Historian biz). They arive in merely a sports coat, tie, and slacks. This is their firt failure, if you can't look the part, how will you ever BE the part? - The correct Legendary Gunner Gear involves a three outfit day. In the morning you should wear a white tuxedo with long tails. When sitting down take care to spread the tails out behind you. At lunch you should be in a standard black tuxedo with a black cumberbun and bowtie (vests are for poors who don't know about class or tradition). In the evening you should be attired in a high end smoking jacket. Please be sure to be meticulously groomed at all times. Your hair should be either slicked back or gelled down and parted in the center. Your nails should be clean and your ass should be washed.
2. Know the Talk - Many failed gunners have failed to fully appreciate what may be accomplished with the spoken word and use large words as a proxy for TRUE GUNDRASPEAK - True GundraSpeak is a mesh of ancient greek, latin, and olde english. You should always answer pure law questions in latin (then translate to modern english with a look of scorn on your face). Policy questions should be presented in ancient greek and accompanied by the standard hand motions employed in the forum of old. Olde English should be used whenever speaking of the Common Law. Please make sure your pronunciation is flawless and your accents appropriate.
3. Know the Walk - Many Gunners are content to raise their hands constantly and offer a few hypotheticals. Rarely does their Gunner Walk extend beyond these rather paltry activities. - First and foremost, DO NOT RAISE YOUR HAND. Raising your hand is for an inferior waiting timidly to be called upon. A Legendary Gunner is second to NO man, including the professor. When the professor offers a statement you take exception to (which should be approximately 60-80% of all statements offered) you must IMMEDIATELY slam your fist onto the table and exclaim "I will not have you making a mockery of this classroom!" Following this outburst you must offer an extended explaination as to why the objectionable statement was/is wrong. Make sure to offer this explanation in the appropriate language as discussed above. Also critical is your entrance and exit. You should arrive exactly 15 minutes early for each class in secure a seat that is in the center of the front row. If someone is currently sitting there you should clear your throat loudly and tap your foot until they get the picture. A Legendary Gunner must reign from his throne and he certainly cannot do this if it is occupied by a lesser being.
There are additional points I may offer to assist you including, but not limited to: Know the Thoughts, Know the Path, Know the Glory. As it stands I'll let you ponder these.
Sincerely offered for the approval of those assembled.
Lord Psycholomort Gunner Biographer, Historian, and Cataloguer. |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:48 AM Author: Well-lubricated Set excellent! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110213) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:53 AM Author: electric chocolate jewess church Very good. Are you the author of that post from a while back on phone anxiety?
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:54 AM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel I dunno. If it contained a lot of randomly made up words (I.E. GundraSpeak) then probably, otherwise probably not. My trademark is forrays into the imagination. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110256) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:55 AM Author: electric chocolate jewess church It involved a transcript of a phone call to a haberdashery.
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:57 AM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel Honestly can't remember, which suggests I didn't write it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110284) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:59 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Pure Greatness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110298) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 3:35 AM Author: Cream Candlestick Maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110674) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 3:15 PM Author: Brass Alcoholic Cuckoldry Absolutely fantastic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200521) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 3:50 AM Author: Umber floppy lay ape I almost burst out laughing. Well done. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049219) |
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Date: May 7th, 2008 11:27 PM Author: Wonderful impertinent incel crackhouse "slam your fist onto the table and exclaim "I will not have you making a mockery of this classroom!"
lulz |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:54 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Quill Pen, of course. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110258) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:56 AM Author: Cracking insane station Of courfe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110276) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:56 AM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel A TRUE Gunner would have all of the relevant material memorized, and would certainly refrain from taking down notes from anyone less than the leading authority on any given subject. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110278) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:58 AM Author: Cracking insane station The gunner could note his objections to statements made by the professor or other students. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110291) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 2:00 AM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel He would have a stenographer hired to sit in the back. He can't have his words hindered by his frantic scribbling. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110312) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 2:07 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Two jars of ink, one black, the other red, and a scroll upon which he pens his notes commesurate with the breed of law discussed- Olde Englifh for The Common Law, etc. Red ink would be used to note such objections, but Gunner would make a show out of it by furiously dipping into the jar and penning his disgust with furrowed brow. One could consider bringing a powdered wig, but it would have to be done in complete sincerity to work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110364) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 1:56 AM Author: 180 Theater Roommate This thread killed me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110273) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 2:14 AM Author: snowy dashing black woman dilemma Get one of the small videocameras on a tripod that can sit on your desk to record class. (In undergrad, I was in a class with someone who did this).
When a student is being called on, turn the camera so that it is capturing that student. If necessary, lift the camera and aim it in the correct direction.
When you are being called on, pick the camera up, turn it around, and point it at yourself as you answer. |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 2:20 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Good one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110454) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 2:21 AM Author: snowy dashing black woman dilemma I think if you wanted to be even more obnoxious, you could set up a rivalry with a fellow gunner. When that gunner was speaking, you could make a point of NOT turning your video camera to record their comments. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110464) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 2:43 PM Author: Sickened hell cuckold haha. PASSIVEAGREESIVOWN3D (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200346) |
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Date: September 9th, 2006 6:51 PM Author: Aphrodisiac school cafeteria Look into the camera and give it a Pat Bateman style finger point and some smug head nodding action. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6586207) |
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Date: May 7th, 2008 11:26 PM Author: Wonderful impertinent incel crackhouse "When you are being called on, pick the camera up, turn it around, and point it at yourself as you answer."
lmao |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 3:53 AM Author: Cream Candlestick Maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5110732) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 12:25 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5147272) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 12:19 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button ^-^ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5147219) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 1:44 PM Author: obsidian whorehouse queen of the night (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5147775) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 1:51 PM Author: Godawful Spectacular Abode Feces Some of these have probably been mentioned, but for full effect ...
1) Be foreign - anything asian is preferrable.
2) When raising your hand, put it up and down repeatedly in almost a flurrying motion. Say, "oooh, oooh" as well in a Horseshackian way.
3) Over laugh at the profs stupid jokes. If he has a particularly lame joke, fall out of your seat laughing.
4) When the prof makes a particularly salient point, stand up and applaud in a raucous manner.
5) End each class by thanking the professor for his time. |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 9:54 PM Author: Cracking insane station Is applause after every class fitting? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5178350) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 3:25 PM Author: crawly tantric business firm gunner this is the greatest thread ever and has truly inspired me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5148650) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 3:17 PM Author: Brass Alcoholic Cuckoldry Agreed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200534) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 3:42 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Does it add to your mystique if you mock other gunners, and call them out for being gunners? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5148786) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 9:39 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Nah, true gunners refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a gunner even existing. The gunner just considers himself an "engaged learner" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5178258) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 10:00 PM Author: silver boiling water No. Gunners typically befriend their fellow gunners (at least until one makes the fatal mistake of making an incorrect bluebook citation)! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5178376) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 10:02 PM Author: alcoholic amber stead Become fat. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5178392) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:24 AM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen When I was at UCB, I was the ultimate gunner. I wore a 3-piece gray pinstripe suit with a white silk dess shirt and a green silk tie everyday. Not to mention a fake rolex which I tried to mention as often as possible - "you just cannot find good timepieces anymore" - and cufflinks.
Never once did I take notes in class. I never bothered to raise my hand, and just spat out my comments, which I tried to do in a longwinded manner. I kept myself to a maximum of 2 5-minute speeches per class, though, as not to piss off the teacher too much and hurt my grades.
I aced every one of my classes, and graduated with a 4.0.
I used to rip on my professors and fellow students in a really meanspirited way, then end with "I kid, of course."
When I got a perfect GRE Q score, I mentioned it in every math and econ class. Once my trig 2 prof said to me "you're very proud of that, aern't you." To which I replied, "Frankly, I felt cheated. But, you must remember, the proctor was an a-rab, so I know what goes on."
It takes balls to say that at UCB.
In one class with no students or profs that I'd met before, I faked a british accent for an entire semester. It did wonders for me. I actually got the prof to write me a LOR in which he said how lucky he was to have such a great overseas student in his class, and that it took someone with "tremendous courage" to leave oxford because he found it too conservative.
When I was in class with a member of the campus republicans, I accused him of being a racist who wanted to "keep blacks and women in their place."
I always finished my exams before anyone. Once, I handed the prof an apple on the way into the test, on which I had written "35 minutes" with a sharpie. When I finished the test, I pointed to my watch and said, "Ohh, I was off by three minutes - it only took 32."
I am the ultimate gunner. I am legend. Now that I am at cornell, I tell people in the program that I am there only to bring up their USNWR rankings. I tell them that I cannot wait to transfer to Princeton or Harvard, where I will write a seperate dissertation for a second Ph.D in abnormal psychology dissecting the "ape-brains" at Cornell.
I also wear a yarmukle to class which I had handmade with stiching on the top reading "Perfect GRE."
I am also 6'5 and 230lb.
The ultimate gunning session was during a course on gender studies when we discussed religious people converting lesbians and gays. I stood up - got out of my fucking chair - and said "Let us suppose that we have a room full of lesbians," I began. Next, I snapped my fingers loudly and said "you throw me in there, problem solved."
I then bowed and sat down.
Prestigious? |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:38 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button 179. I had to show this to my roommate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5179975) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:20 AM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen Why only 179? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180262) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:38 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button I'm trying to fight grade inflation. That way a 180 like, really means something and stuff (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180378) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 3:10 PM Author: abusive mentally impaired indian lodge international law enforcement agency Once, I handed the prof an apple on the way into the test, on which I had written "35 minutes" with a sharpie. When I finished the test, I pointed to my watch and said, "Ohh, I was off by two minutes - it only took 32." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200487) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:15 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Haha I didn't even catch that the first time. Awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239596) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:43 AM Author: gold menage "Once, I handed the prof an apple on the way into the test, on which I had written "35 minutes" with a sharpie. When I finished the test, I pointed to my watch and said, "Ohh, I was off by two minutes - it only took 32."
Your math skills are flawless. |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:25 AM Author: Big irate brethren tanning salon Use a quill pen. A FUCKING QUILL PEN! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5179845) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 12:28 AM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen I never took notes, but I did my tests with a #2 pencil with percect SAT written on it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5179873) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:09 AM Author: bearded hunting ground i loved that one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180209) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:20 AM Author: Histrionic parlour mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180258) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:26 AM Author: Razzmatazz bawdyhouse I love the british accent. 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180299) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:29 AM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen If you like the british accent, then you'll love my cellphone ringtone: The Charlie Rose theme song!
What's also great is alienating the whole class. One time, this kid used the word faggot, and I got up in front of the whole class and said, "I am a homosexual, and I think you are a racist pig. I'm going to report you to the dean."
So I told the professor about what happened when he walked in, and he made the student leave and apologized to me.
My G/f got a good laugh out of it. |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:54 AM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button LOL. If you really did all this shit you are awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180494) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 2:57 AM Author: Razzmatazz bawdyhouse 180. You pwn3ed this fucking thread. I bow to you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5180707) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 3:15 AM Author: domesticated stage cumskin Once you have a summer job at a law firm, bring memorabilia from your lawfirm to class. It is especially helpful if the lawfirm is slightly selective (meaning others in the class would have gotten dinged), but nothing special (so it isn't even that impressive). A coffee thermus works best. Be sure to point it in the direction of your law firm's logo out to the rest of the class, and only drink from it occasionally, being sure to carefully return it to the proper spot. The key of this is to have it there every class. Make sure everyone knows that you will have your trusty law firm mug at class every day.
Also, find a gunner friend and engage in this classic gunner team work:
Gunner 1: "Professor, I know we are in a rush to get through the material, but before we go on, I need to ask you this really specific, esoteric, obviously useless detailed question about the difference between S-Corps and LLCs and how they effect tax consequences." Then ask the question in a way that makes no sense.
The prof then avoids the question in an attempt not to embarass the gunner, sending subtle hints like "we need to move on" that he isn't interested in continuing the discussion.
Gunner 1 (without raising his hand, just talking): "But professor, that didn't really answer my question." Ask it again, but this time change it a little so it isn't even the same question, but again it doesn't make any sense.
By now the Prof is annoyed, but he tries again, again not answering the question because the question makes no sense.
Gunner 2: "But professor, what I think Gunner 1 was asking was..." (again, ask a slightly different question which also makes no sense).
If you do this well, it will become an episode that none of your classmates ever forget, you will hear loud signs around the room, and you will ruin about 30 minutes worth of class time. If you try to calculate how many thousands of dollars of tuition money you wasted, especially in a big class, no gunner could feel more proud. |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Hahaha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200336) |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 5:28 AM Author: Boyish faggot firefighter Great work guys! Just a few additional tips in building the legend of your gunnerdom:
1) Congratulate yourself after making any observation, especially ones that are extremely obvious. Give yourself the highest grade at your institution (e.g., "High Honors"/ "A+"/etc.).
2) As a 1L, casually begin any comments, inside or outside of class, with "As I will explain in my upcoming law review article..."
3) Have a framed picture of your prof on the desk. Occasionally stroke it.
4) Keep a small action figure on a miniature gallows. When a classmate contradicts you, stare at them and drop the trapdoor repeatedly.
5) Tape record yourself snickering. While classmates are getting hit with Socratic, hit the play button, but continue taking notes and giving encouraging smiles to the hapless victim.
6) If students leave the room for bathroom breaks or anything else, interrupt the professor to let everyone know you found that behavior disruptive.
7) Finally, when called on for questions, stand (you're obviously sitting front and center), walk up to the professor's podium and proceed to orate from there. |
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Date: February 25th, 2006 1:17 PM Author: plum swashbuckling hospital ladyboy ive never seen this one before. awesome :) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5181947) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 2:38 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button . (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200322) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 2:53 PM Author: maroon bat shit crazy brunch uh, hello, bookstands? get a mahogany one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5200387) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 3:24 PM Author: Brass Alcoholic Cuckoldry Don't forget the right equipment: Largest wheelie bag ever. Carry every book you own in it, and randomly smack into people as you arrive to class.
Stand when you speak. Also, eat as you speak.
Bring visual aids. Ask to use the board. If your prof uses visual aids then bring a laser pointer and use it to point to the areas you're "commenting" on.
Holding your hand gets tiring. Bring a desk bell.
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Date: August 16th, 2007 11:18 PM Author: Thriller Office Voyeur desk bell would be outstanding (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525461) |
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Date: February 27th, 2006 6:53 PM Author: chartreuse resort Email your professors before class and volunteer to be on call. Mention that you are particularly prepared to discuss a case at length. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5202360) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:10 PM Author: plum swashbuckling hospital ladyboy i know someone who does this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239549) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 7:50 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button ^-^ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5239372) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2006 8:17 PM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen I pronounce this thread pointless, and, henceforth, over.
the best post was to talk so strongly and at such length that the gunner vomits, wipes his mouth off and goes right on gunning.
Priceless. I was sitting in bed reading the thread on my laptop while my g/f was asleep, and I laughed so loud that I woke her and the dog up. |
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Date: April 24th, 2006 4:45 PM Author: hateful mauve wrinkle factory reset button Make your own jerseys with the profs' names on them. This Really Happened.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=404856&mc=18&forum_id=2 |
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Date: May 3rd, 2006 8:25 PM Author: plum swashbuckling hospital ladyboy http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=410244&mc=15&forum_id=2 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5709275) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2006 8:27 PM Author: burgundy double fault GTO, make this a sticky!!!!!!!!! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5709289) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2006 8:40 PM Author: chest-beating clear internal respiration i know a guy that tore the buttons off of his non- french cuffed button down shirt and replaced them with the univeristy of oxford's school crest cuff-links. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5709406) |
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Date: May 30th, 2006 4:25 PM Author: sinister massive corner place of business Subject: superior I wanna be a gunner thread bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#5879910) |
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Date: August 31st, 2006 5:31 PM Author: curious orchestra pit Subject: Speaking style Instead of copping a British or whatever accent, you should talk in Americanize English, but make sure your sentences come off disjointed and emphasized in weird ways as if you are staggering under the weight of your own profundity just by answering. Remember to over ennunciate any word over 3 syllables and give a 5-10 second pause between every coherent thought so as to let the lesser mortals digest the depth of your genius. A good example today was in my TTT UG phil class:
Prof: ...yadda yadda yadda, circular logic fallacy, yadda yadda yadda...
*A student in the front middle of class careens his head sharply upward and strikes a look that can only be described as intense or constipated. The professor, who is standing about 3 feet from the student, pauses and asks him if he's alright*
Student: Yah... I was just, you know... I was trying to visualize a metaphor for what you were just describing... you know... pertaining to the circular logic fallacy... I always try to create visual metaphors as a study aid...
Prof (with a somewhat wry smile): Oh? Care to share what you've come up with?
Student: Well, its sort of like... you know, it's difficult to visualize an abstract... but I think a really creative way to look at it *looks around the room and basks for about 5 seconds in his own creativity* is building... you know, constructing with planks of wood... a stair case *flashes a satisfied smile and sits back*
Prof (with an air of apology to the rest of the class and an exaggerated eye roll): ANYway...
This all just happened so the memory is still painfully fresh; finding this thread was just the cathartic lift I needed. If Dante had known about TTTs, he would have given mine its own level in hell. |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 3:00 PM Author: Stimulating Plaza Electric Furnace Fucking underrated. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9050916) |
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Date: September 9th, 2006 6:42 PM Author: Harsh Laughsome State bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6586153) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:39 AM Author: Multi-colored spruce pisswyrm this is a brilliant thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588394) |
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Date: September 9th, 2006 7:38 PM Author: Pungent address Bring lots and lots of pencils to class. Also, bring an electronic pencil sharpener that makes a lot of noise and have it plugged in. Never sharpen your pencils before class...make sure you use them until they become stumps. ALWAYS sharpen your pencils, with the electronic pencil sharpener, IN CLASS. You might wanna sharpen your pencil JUST AS the prof is about to make a particularly important/brilliant point. Then ask him or her to repeat whatever it was they just said. Interrupt them a few more times with the pencil sharpening. Then proceed to disagree with the prof and start a long drawn out discussion. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6586405) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 1:16 AM Author: lascivious frum market police squad Fill your rolly-bag with pensils (as much as will fit after your laptop, casebook, and pencil sharpener) and sharpen pencils over and over again, but never use them because you are only taking notes on your laptop (or your gunner shadow is taking your notes for you)
You may chew on, break, throw, and stab with your pencils, but never write with them. |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 2:16 AM Author: Well-lubricated Set Anything posted on this thread following Lord Psycholomort is pointless. Never will anyone top it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6588576) |
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Date: September 10th, 2006 8:10 AM Author: odious goal in life forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6589033) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:00 AM Author: glittery meetinghouse goyim bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6903451) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:19 AM Author: shivering splenetic legal warrant sanctuary Greatest thread ever created on XO. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6903643) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 10:50 AM Author: Soul-stirring Vermilion Volcanic Crater You must flag every page of every book. Devise an elaborate color-coding system for your flags to intimidate other students. Highlight AND underline every other sentence in your case book. Print out stacks and stacks of irrelevant Lexis research. Put each page in its own individual sheet protector. Rolly bags aren't capacious enough for a real gunner. Use a huge Samsonite suitcase, the kind made for extended stays overseas. Bring your suitcase(s) full of materials with you wherever you go, especially when you call on professors during office hours. And always use one of those privacy screens on your laptop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6905987) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 12:30 PM Author: diverse fortuitous meteor gay wizard two words: VIDEO RESUME.
Pack it with clips of you doing toolish shit, like lifting weights (fake a 500lb bench press if you have to), ballroom dancing and trying to be all philosophical and inspirational and shit. blast it out to every firm under the sun, as well as your classmates and profs.
remember, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING! |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 1:30 PM Author: Cobalt useless hall take a soap box to stand on while talking (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#6906754) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 2:20 PM Author: racy center windowlicker You must not miss one single moment of lecture. Consequently, when listening and taking notes, urinate and defecate yourself whenever the urge arises and without second thought or hesitation. You must do so forcefully and loudly: you must not lose more than fleeting moments of concentration on such first order bodily functions. Maintain locked eye contact with the professor at all times during excretion. This can and should be done while standing and speaking as well without a pause or lapse in gunning. Your classmates will admire your dedication to classroom discussion. You cannot change your clothes; instead you must remain at the law school studying and gunning well into the night. Your now-dried filth-stained garments are your badge of honor -- wear them proudly! |
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Date: November 2nd, 2006 3:00 PM Author: fear-inspiring arousing death wish stop turning this classic thread to shit
stop posting in it except to bump |
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Date: January 27th, 2007 5:47 PM Author: out-of-control gas station Subject: bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#7496489) |
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Date: January 27th, 2007 5:58 PM Author: cheese-eating cerise party of the first part On the first day of class, do everything outlined in this thread. Never show up to class again for the remainder of the semester until exam day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#7496542) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 4:43 PM Author: insanely creepy friendly grandma base Fertik (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#7885877) |
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Date: April 6th, 2007 4:56 PM Author: territorial erotic jap ratface sounds like an urban dictionary definition in the making...
Fertik (abbr): Fertile with flak |
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Date: June 26th, 2007 3:07 AM Author: Sticky point puppy bump the thread that started me reading this board (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8302009) |
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Date: June 26th, 2007 9:23 AM Author: carmine locale faggotry Holy Mother of God Milo, thank you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8302233) |
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Date: September 4th, 2007 3:35 AM Author: Cowardly Liquid Oxygen Nothing like a good stroll down memory lane. Hard to think that this was almost 2 years ago. Fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8598002) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:25 PM Author: naked newt keepsake machete bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524849) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:33 PM Author: Cordovan Really Tough Guy Codepig Thanks.
If there was an xoxo goldmine, this thread would be in it. |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:28 PM Author: Wine Digit Ratio Thank Christ I never went to law school. The last several years of board banter have convinced me that y'all are crazy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524866) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 11:04 AM Author: pit karate what do you do now? what was your lsat score? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8526706) |
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Date: October 26th, 2007 5:53 PM Author: Sexy idiot principal's office What did you do instead? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8817163) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 9:33 PM Author: red kitchen still the greatest xoxo thread of all time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8524893) |
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Date: August 16th, 2007 10:04 PM Author: excitant sapphire step-uncle's house When you talk, flail your arms wildly not because you're trying to get anyone's attention at that point, but because you are so engaged and so involved in your thoughts that you can't keep your body still. Keep increasing the flailing until you drop to the floor having a seizure. Keep talking until you start drooling and your mouth fills up with so much drool that it's only an incomprehensible mumble of suffocated words. Start choking on your drool because you opened your windpipe while drooling. If anyone comes close to give you assistance, give them an outraged look of condescension. Keep mumbling until you lose consciousness. When you wake up at the hospital, call the nurse to you and make sure she takes a pen and a piece of paper with her and continue gunning. Repeat your earlier performance until you're dead. Have "Veritas" engraved on your tombstone. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8525123) |
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Date: November 19th, 2007 6:50 PM Author: bateful church building Underrated bump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8915167) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 1:42 PM Author: swollen home Get a crown from Burger King and wear it to class. When someone asks you about it, simply proclaim yourself to be the "King of Torts" or whatever class it is. When you speak in class, be sure to note comments by your classmates by saying something like "As noted by my royal subject..." When asked a question by the professor, simply respond that the question is "insulting and demeaning to my clear dominance in the field of intentional torts." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8527318) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 1:47 PM Author: Pink cruel-hearted property king of torts = grisham novel = TTT. that's not gunner, that's just dumb. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8527344) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 1:59 PM Author: swollen home Admittedly, it is not as good as vomiting. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8527400) |
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Date: August 17th, 2007 8:36 PM Author: Maize bisexual rehab Wear a bowtie to OCI. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8529000) |
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Date: September 4th, 2007 3:22 AM Author: Sticky point puppy bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8597977) |
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Date: September 4th, 2007 3:28 AM Author: vivacious charcoal heaven the gunning/barfing/gunning thing could easily be made into a classic movie scene. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8597988) |
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Date: September 4th, 2007 4:21 AM Author: gay lodge telephone would read again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8598063) |
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Date: September 28th, 2007 12:35 AM Author: dead spot gaming laptop bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8698842) |
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Date: September 28th, 2007 12:44 AM Author: coral coldplay fan lettuce bring peppercorns to class and give them to people who make promises. (i know of a gunner who actually did this.) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8698883) |
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Date: October 26th, 2007 1:23 AM Author: Sticky point puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8814923) |
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Date: October 26th, 2007 1:53 AM Author: philosopher-king Take notes with a stenotype machine.
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Date: October 26th, 2007 1:04 PM Author: Self-centered Athletic Conference No way. Stenotype machines are for court reporters, which is a toilet job. Better to bring your (hot) personal assistant to lecture and have her take all your notes for you on a stenotype. But she should only record what you say in class - not the professor. Obviously, what you have to say is more important. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8816038) |
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Date: November 15th, 2007 2:21 PM Author: shivering splenetic legal warrant sanctuary Bump for 1Ls (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8898581) |
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Date: November 19th, 2007 11:02 PM Author: trust fund travel guidebook absolutely amazing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#8916205) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 2:46 AM Author: jet people who are hurt messiness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049096) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 2:51 AM Author: confused foreskin As the exam is about to begin, ask aloud "how long is this exam?" Then scoff: "three hours!!! with what little I know, I'll be out of here in one!" Three hours later when the proctor calls time, continue to type until she demands your name and ID number. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049110) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 5:15 AM Author: Umber floppy lay ape Bring a mini bookshelf to class and reference from it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049341) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 5:19 AM Author: jet people who are hurt messiness 147 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049350) |
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Date: December 19th, 2007 9:09 AM Author: Pontificating Gaping this is the best thing i've ever read. i especially like the post about knowing the COA judges' names and working them into social conversation. classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9049554) |
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Date: January 24th, 2008 9:18 PM Author: flesh genital piercing prole lulz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9217173) |
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Date: March 23rd, 2008 11:13 PM Author: Flirting Use a laptop, but make sure you plug in an external mouse and keyboard.
Audibly chuckle to yourself after other people's comments.
When you raise your hand, if not called upon immediately, begin snapping your fingers at regular two-second intervals.
While droning on, begin massaging your temples. Close your eyes.
Loudly get up to take 10-minute bathroom breaks after each comment you make in class.
Bring a TI-89 and dramatically unsheath it at random points in each class.
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Date: March 23rd, 2008 11:20 PM Author: black famous landscape painting toaster The problem with this thread is no one really puts this into practice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9522047) |
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Date: March 27th, 2008 11:40 PM Author: adventurous dingle berry chapel Recite 10 Holy Gunners before bed each night.
Holy Gunner, which art in contracts Hallowed be thy game Thy knowledge spun, Thy gun be done, in class as it is in your dreams Give us this day our pointless digression And forgive us our silence, as we forgive them who comment without end And lead us not into beat downs For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory. For ever and ever. Srsly.
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Date: March 27th, 2008 11:43 PM Author: Ruby medicated personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9542325) |
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Date: May 27th, 2008 1:41 AM Author: coral coldplay fan lettuce time to bump the thread for the 0Ls (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9831955) |
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Date: May 27th, 2008 1:44 AM Author: mood Good call this is easily my favorite thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#9831964) |
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Date: August 4th, 2008 4:57 PM Author: boistinker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#10035425) |
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Date: October 23rd, 2008 10:32 PM Author: quadroon I know the first semester's half over, but I am of the opinion that today's 1L gunners would benefit from reviewing this holy text, so that they may fine-tune their gunnetry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=83485&forum_id=2#10291950) |
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Date: October 23rd, 2008 10:50 PM Author: macaca This thread makes it clear that, all in all, being a gunner, especially a legendary gunner, is hard work.
Kudos to anyone out there who has achieved "legendary gunner" status. I wonder if Petro ever achieved it. |