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Just farted, office smells like an asshole.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot Oh Christ. Literally smells like something died in my ass. I can't stop sniffing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136241) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Spectacular azure location dingle berry this had your markings written all over it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136248) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: Embarrassed To The Bone Prole now so do his tighty-whiteys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Smoky windowlicker have you pooped yet today? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136249) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I don't know how he waits so long. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136253) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot I never have to go until about 11. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136260) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I actually wish I was that way. I would be more awake and could enjoy it more, like waiting right up to the point that you know it's going to feel best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136275) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot It's not as fun as it sounds. The worst is if it comes a bit too early and I'm on the metro or something. I start sweating, get dizzy... it's not fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136283) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:43 AM Author: Obsidian Heaven i've always wondered why you get dizzy. is it b/c you're extracting so much energy to hold it in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136298) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:44 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot I'm not sure either. But it's literally the worst feeling in the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136309) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Obsidian Heaven true. especially when you know you can't do anything about it. you just gotta hold it in and pray. it's been awhile since i've shit my pants, but there's always a worry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136318) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Have you ever crapped your pants? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136319) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot Of course. Most recently my senior year in college. Hung over, driving my girlfriend home to her apartment, had to pull over because I thought I was going to vomit, instead had diarrhea all over myself. Fun morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136329) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol That's lucky. My last one happened at work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136352) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:50 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot Yikes, that's a nightmare. Especially if you have to take the train home. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136359) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:16 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Awful. The worst ever.
I was sitting at my desk and felt like I had to release a normal, if substantial fart. I briefly considered the remote chance that it might be more and thought about hitting the can, but I said fuck it and fearlessly let loose. I immediately faced my horrifying mistake. I wasn't taking a gas exit; I was taking a wet, viscous shit.
I clenched my anus, hoping to suck it back in, or at least plug up the stench seeping through the back of my khakis. But it was no use. Within just a moment, I was sitting in a thick, mud-like plume the color of peanut butter. Overcome by effluvium, I clutched my nostrils and stood. I felt a slow drip roll down the back of my leg. I turned around. It had stained the cloth of my office chair.
I grabbed my coat, locked my office door, and hit the train. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:18 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot I'm crying! Best story ever! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136587) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:20 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol You know how shit is nice and warm? Not after 20 minutes. It's cold. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136618) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:21 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot Ooh, I just got the chills. I've definitely never felt cold shit. I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136629) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:31 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol It's probably worth it just to see. This weekend, crap your pants and stand outside for a few minutes.
Especially if that older broad is coming. It'll test her mettle. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:35 AM Author: Peach abnormal stage I almost pissed my pants reading this one. you should warn people before you drop bombs like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136772) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:24 AM Author: Peach abnormal stage 185. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136655) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 12:14 PM Author: Fantasy-prone sapphire locale jap absolutely exquisite. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137264) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Why II? You can't get banned here can you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137913) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:29 PM Author: Sticky abode so the next day you had to return to caked shit on your office chair?
i would have wiped the chair down before leaving. i bet all your khakis smell like shit now. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:31 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I returned to the office that day wearing different pants. I cleaned if off as well as I could with wet paper towels, but a faint stain remained.
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: Sticky abode I'm going to carefully check all my future office chairs very carefully from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138865) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I've sniffed the office chairs of hot associates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138876) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot A+ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138886) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:11 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Weekends were fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195428) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:14 PM Author: Wonderful pocket flask Were you the kind of guy who also sniffed their shoes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195449) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:57 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol No. I couldn't care less about feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195775) |
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Date: June 21st, 2005 5:12 PM Author: wild chest-beating lodge mood Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the security cameras picked this up? Or, the post where you wipe the remaining scat off your chair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3075099) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: Mind-boggling locus fortuitous meteor excellent writing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287049) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: Mind-boggling locus fortuitous meteor excellent cunnilingus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287050) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I think so. It becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. The same thing happens when I take a leak when I'm really hung over. I start to get cold sweats and have to lean against the wall with my right arm.
Edit: it's the same feeling, but for different reasons, i think |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: soul-stirring painfully honest international law enforcement agency dilemma i never understood that part of the morning after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136320) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:48 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol When that happens in the morning when I'm hungover and have peeled myself off the bed solely because I have to piss so bad I might die, it's like time slows down. A piss that would normally seem like 20 seconds feels like 20 minutes. Things blur and grog. Agony. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136344) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot Yeah. It's a catch-22 though, because the more you think about it the worse it gets. But you can't not think about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136321) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Obsidian Heaven yep, exactly. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136336) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Obsidian Heaven but i thought that was just b/c a person is drunk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136334) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Drunk only in that way that you're still kind of drunk and dazed after you spent the night before drinking your tits off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136356) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot No. Which means I'm smelling air that rushed directly past my feces. Which is kind of cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136258) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Smoky windowlicker yes. it is way cool. Whenever I would fart bad as a kid my mother would always tel me to go poop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol The two aren't necessarily related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136270) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Smoky windowlicker my mom and I are related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136281) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: Shaky therapy ticket booth underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Farts feel really good when you've got a log in. You can kind of feel the fart maneuver around the loaf before it comes out good and dry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Glittery idea he suggested spot You have a way with words. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136274) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Obsidian Heaven yes, definitely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136279) |
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Date: September 7th, 2005 1:16 AM Author: Fantasy-prone sapphire locale jap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3763558) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:05 AM Author: Boyish dopamine i think about this post on a regular basis.
pretty much every time i fart. |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:45 AM Author: snowy base keepsake machete pfft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310224) |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:48 AM Author: Twinkling irradiated native bumped too soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310252) |
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:58 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Ha. Just re-read this thread. Makes me want to noodle my yammies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#143035) |
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Date: May 9th, 2004 12:18 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#417645) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 6:04 AM Author: Multi-colored white kitty bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287023) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 1:34 AM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol I loved this thread.
Hi Euphronius! |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:14 AM Author: Very Tactful Chartreuse Corner Useless Brakes this is truly hilarious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645803) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:08 AM Author: High-end swashbuckling digit ratio ratface for like the last month, my oldest dog, who's 11, has been ripping arse constantly. the house smells like a mortuary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645765) |
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Date: November 11th, 2004 11:53 AM Author: cracking erotic hall depressive i just laughed in class
way to go, blue
filtering "fart" was an okay time |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:06 PM Author: Wonderful pocket flask This thread is truly, truly, truly outrageous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195399) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:07 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol tubgirl is outrageous.
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:11 PM Author: Wonderful pocket flask http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/play.cfm/sound_iid.29754
Play the file. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:13 PM Author: Sticky abode i'm afraid to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195937) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:15 PM Author: Wonderful pocket flask It'll bring back memories. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195955) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:37 PM Author: Sticky abode Great bump. This thread is one of the all time classics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2196187) |
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Date: May 26th, 2005 1:44 PM Author: Fighting Galvanic Tanning Salon Philosopher-king Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2862767) |
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Date: July 30th, 2007 12:40 PM Author: racy internal respiration cruise ship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8450886) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:41 PM Author: Nighttime foreskin In the spirit of the day, biz-ump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922072) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:46 PM Author: Rambunctious brunch That's strange because my farts have an odor that couldn't be more distinct from the smell of my asshole. Yes, I've touched it and smelled my finger before. So sue me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922104) |
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Date: June 19th, 2005 11:04 AM Author: Fishy Deep Selfie Police Squad bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3055727) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 9:52 PM Author: Pearly charismatic box office bumping funny blue threads hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146148) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 10:25 PM Author: Flushed Frozen Pistol Nice. I miss him a hole lot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146436) |
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Date: October 20th, 2005 12:10 PM Author: seedy stead fanboi bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4091948) |
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Date: December 8th, 2005 6:51 PM Author: pale razzle karate babump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4500486) |
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Date: December 21st, 2005 5:44 PM Author: Vermilion rough-skinned forum I just spread the love myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4632464) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:37 PM Author: Twinkling irradiated native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750286) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: Olive supple sneaky criminal nowag Coffee is a diharettic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750325) |
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Date: February 8th, 2006 11:22 PM Author: Fantasy-prone sapphire locale jap http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5034469) |
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Date: May 11th, 2006 10:31 PM Author: Milky theatre alpha just farted something awful, was reminded of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5768272) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:27 AM Author: Idiotic candlestick maker brethren Bump. HRP is outstanding in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892878) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:30 AM Author: Sick Cerebral Den Nibblets I can't believe he's been posting here for 2 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892884) |
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Date: June 18th, 2006 8:20 PM Author: Fantasy-prone sapphire locale jap Just farted. Room smells like an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6014942) |
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Date: September 16th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: Fuchsia contagious dysfunction bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6622983) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 5:56 AM Author: Boyish dopamine rebump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422958) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:08 AM Author: racy internal respiration cruise ship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748359) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:10 AM Author: Fantasy-prone sapphire locale jap titcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748366) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:11 AM Author: pungent hell Sweet. I remember this gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748378) |
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Date: November 9th, 2006 11:47 AM Author: Filthy potus This is my present situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6956256) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:05 PM Author: Twinkling irradiated native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7289244) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: pungent hell Nice. This one never gets old.
Whatever happened to blue? |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: naked preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422289) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 2:04 AM Author: scarlet stimulating meetinghouse HRP's posts in this thread are retarded and obvious. good job! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422331) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:48 AM Author: Domesticated pozpig goal in life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7720565) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: Twinkling irradiated native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7905145) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:20 PM Author: bistre slap-happy trump supporter striped hyena You know, those were different times. Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse, and those ladies, they rolled their eyes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8350411) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:26 PM Author: diverse umber legend house i'll tell ya someting
jack is a banker and jaaaaaaaaaaaaane she is clerk and both of them save their monies and when they come home from work. oooooooooooooooooooooh sitting down by the fire ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the radio does play. |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 8:53 AM Author: Hideous messiness sex offender (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312556) |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 9:36 AM Author: magenta big affirmative action 1st grade humor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312581) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:21 PM Author: trip hateful marketing idea roommate titcr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9666048) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:12 PM Author: comical toaster I just farted for about the hundredth time today. Literally. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9665997) |