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Just farted, office smells like an asshole.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping Oh Christ. Literally smells like something died in my ass. I can't stop sniffing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136241) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Maize Library this had your markings written all over it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136248) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: swollen dark mexican feces now so do his tighty-whiteys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Passionate cream macaca have you pooped yet today? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136249) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: slap-happy heaven I don't know how he waits so long. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136253) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping I never have to go until about 11. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136260) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: slap-happy heaven I actually wish I was that way. I would be more awake and could enjoy it more, like waiting right up to the point that you know it's going to feel best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136275) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping It's not as fun as it sounds. The worst is if it comes a bit too early and I'm on the metro or something. I start sweating, get dizzy... it's not fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136283) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:43 AM Author: green business firm i've always wondered why you get dizzy. is it b/c you're extracting so much energy to hold it in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136298) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:44 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping I'm not sure either. But it's literally the worst feeling in the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136309) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: green business firm true. especially when you know you can't do anything about it. you just gotta hold it in and pray. it's been awhile since i've shit my pants, but there's always a worry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136318) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: slap-happy heaven Have you ever crapped your pants? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136319) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping Of course. Most recently my senior year in college. Hung over, driving my girlfriend home to her apartment, had to pull over because I thought I was going to vomit, instead had diarrhea all over myself. Fun morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136329) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: slap-happy heaven That's lucky. My last one happened at work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136352) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:50 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping Yikes, that's a nightmare. Especially if you have to take the train home. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136359) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:16 AM Author: slap-happy heaven Awful. The worst ever.
I was sitting at my desk and felt like I had to release a normal, if substantial fart. I briefly considered the remote chance that it might be more and thought about hitting the can, but I said fuck it and fearlessly let loose. I immediately faced my horrifying mistake. I wasn't taking a gas exit; I was taking a wet, viscous shit.
I clenched my anus, hoping to suck it back in, or at least plug up the stench seeping through the back of my khakis. But it was no use. Within just a moment, I was sitting in a thick, mud-like plume the color of peanut butter. Overcome by effluvium, I clutched my nostrils and stood. I felt a slow drip roll down the back of my leg. I turned around. It had stained the cloth of my office chair.
I grabbed my coat, locked my office door, and hit the train. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:18 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping I'm crying! Best story ever! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136587) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:20 AM Author: slap-happy heaven You know how shit is nice and warm? Not after 20 minutes. It's cold. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136618) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:21 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping Ooh, I just got the chills. I've definitely never felt cold shit. I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136629) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:31 AM Author: slap-happy heaven It's probably worth it just to see. This weekend, crap your pants and stand outside for a few minutes.
Especially if that older broad is coming. It'll test her mettle. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:35 AM Author: bronze whorehouse I almost pissed my pants reading this one. you should warn people before you drop bombs like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136772) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:24 AM Author: bronze whorehouse 185. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136655) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 12:14 PM Author: Startling snowy people who are hurt dilemma absolutely exquisite. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137264) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: slap-happy heaven Why II? You can't get banned here can you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137913) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:29 PM Author: sexy house so the next day you had to return to caked shit on your office chair?
i would have wiped the chair down before leaving. i bet all your khakis smell like shit now. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:31 PM Author: slap-happy heaven I returned to the office that day wearing different pants. I cleaned if off as well as I could with wet paper towels, but a faint stain remained.
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: sexy house I'm going to carefully check all my future office chairs very carefully from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138865) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: slap-happy heaven I've sniffed the office chairs of hot associates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138876) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: onyx slimy gaping A+ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138886) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:11 PM Author: slap-happy heaven Weekends were fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195428) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:14 PM Author: Fighting impertinent corner round eye Were you the kind of guy who also sniffed their shoes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195449) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:57 PM Author: slap-happy heaven No. I couldn't care less about feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195775) |
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Date: June 21st, 2005 5:12 PM Author: Seedy indigo market sweet tailpipe Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the security cameras picked this up? Or, the post where you wipe the remaining scat off your chair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3075099) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: elite reading party excellent writing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287049) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: elite reading party excellent cunnilingus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287050) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: slap-happy heaven I think so. It becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. The same thing happens when I take a leak when I'm really hung over. I start to get cold sweats and have to lean against the wall with my right arm.
Edit: it's the same feeling, but for different reasons, i think |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: arousing theater idiot i never understood that part of the morning after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136320) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:48 AM Author: slap-happy heaven When that happens in the morning when I'm hungover and have peeled myself off the bed solely because I have to piss so bad I might die, it's like time slows down. A piss that would normally seem like 20 seconds feels like 20 minutes. Things blur and grog. Agony. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136344) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping Yeah. It's a catch-22 though, because the more you think about it the worse it gets. But you can't not think about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136321) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: green business firm yep, exactly. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136336) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: green business firm but i thought that was just b/c a person is drunk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136334) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: slap-happy heaven Drunk only in that way that you're still kind of drunk and dazed after you spent the night before drinking your tits off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136356) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping No. Which means I'm smelling air that rushed directly past my feces. Which is kind of cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136258) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Passionate cream macaca yes. it is way cool. Whenever I would fart bad as a kid my mother would always tel me to go poop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: slap-happy heaven The two aren't necessarily related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136270) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Passionate cream macaca my mom and I are related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136281) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: Fluffy grizzly toilet seat underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: slap-happy heaven Farts feel really good when you've got a log in. You can kind of feel the fart maneuver around the loaf before it comes out good and dry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: onyx slimy gaping You have a way with words. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136274) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: green business firm yes, definitely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136279) |
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Date: September 7th, 2005 1:16 AM Author: Startling snowy people who are hurt dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3763558) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:05 AM Author: Trip nursing home i think about this post on a regular basis.
pretty much every time i fart. |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:45 AM Author: swashbuckling disturbing cruise ship pfft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310224) |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:48 AM Author: Dashing rehab personal credit line bumped too soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310252) |
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:58 PM Author: slap-happy heaven Ha. Just re-read this thread. Makes me want to noodle my yammies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#143035) |
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Date: May 9th, 2004 12:18 AM Author: slap-happy heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#417645) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 6:04 AM Author: spectacular institution faggotry bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287023) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 1:34 AM Author: slap-happy heaven I loved this thread.
Hi Euphronius! |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:14 AM Author: puce site therapy this is truly hilarious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645803) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:08 AM Author: Contagious meetinghouse for like the last month, my oldest dog, who's 11, has been ripping arse constantly. the house smells like a mortuary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645765) |
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Date: November 11th, 2004 11:53 AM Author: Brass Useless New Version Old Irish Cottage i just laughed in class
way to go, blue
filtering "fart" was an okay time |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:06 PM Author: Fighting impertinent corner round eye This thread is truly, truly, truly outrageous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195399) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:07 PM Author: slap-happy heaven tubgirl is outrageous.
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:11 PM Author: Fighting impertinent corner round eye http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/play.cfm/sound_iid.29754
Play the file. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:13 PM Author: sexy house i'm afraid to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195937) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:15 PM Author: Fighting impertinent corner round eye It'll bring back memories. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195955) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:37 PM Author: sexy house Great bump. This thread is one of the all time classics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2196187) |
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Date: May 26th, 2005 1:44 PM Author: fuchsia stirring generalized bond sanctuary Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2862767) |
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Date: July 30th, 2007 12:40 PM Author: Heady stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8450886) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:41 PM Author: lilac razzle main people In the spirit of the day, biz-ump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922072) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:46 PM Author: racy abnormal gas station That's strange because my farts have an odor that couldn't be more distinct from the smell of my asshole. Yes, I've touched it and smelled my finger before. So sue me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922104) |
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Date: June 19th, 2005 11:04 AM Author: Talented scarlet brunch bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3055727) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 9:52 PM Author: pearly big newt bumping funny blue threads hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146148) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 10:25 PM Author: slap-happy heaven Nice. I miss him a hole lot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146436) |
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Date: October 20th, 2005 12:10 PM Author: Ocher Unhinged Mental Disorder Nibblets bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4091948) |
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Date: December 8th, 2005 6:51 PM Author: thriller really tough guy babump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4500486) |
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Date: December 21st, 2005 5:44 PM Author: Vivacious filthpig I just spread the love myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4632464) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:37 PM Author: Dashing rehab personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750286) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: Aquamarine appetizing quadroon Coffee is a diharettic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750325) |
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Date: February 8th, 2006 11:22 PM Author: Startling snowy people who are hurt dilemma http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5034469) |
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Date: May 11th, 2006 10:31 PM Author: ungodly pink public bath just farted something awful, was reminded of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5768272) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:27 AM Author: Mauve pit Bump. HRP is outstanding in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892878) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:30 AM Author: ruby stimulating fat ankles I can't believe he's been posting here for 2 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892884) |
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Date: June 18th, 2006 8:20 PM Author: Startling snowy people who are hurt dilemma Just farted. Room smells like an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6014942) |
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Date: September 16th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: Milky hall police squad bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6622983) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 5:56 AM Author: Trip nursing home rebump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422958) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:08 AM Author: Heady stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748359) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:10 AM Author: Startling snowy people who are hurt dilemma titcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748366) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:11 AM Author: Amber Kitchen Sweet. I remember this gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748378) |
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Date: November 9th, 2006 11:47 AM Author: Shaky glittery windowlicker This is my present situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6956256) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:05 PM Author: Dashing rehab personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7289244) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: Amber Kitchen Nice. This one never gets old.
Whatever happened to blue? |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: Big-titted crystalline messiness parlor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422289) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 2:04 AM Author: irradiated jade tanning salon HRP's posts in this thread are retarded and obvious. good job! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422331) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:48 AM Author: kink-friendly clear candlestick maker abode (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7720565) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: Dashing rehab personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7905145) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:20 PM Author: mildly autistic step-uncle's house philosopher-king You know, those were different times. Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse, and those ladies, they rolled their eyes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8350411) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:26 PM Author: Thirsty angry location incel i'll tell ya someting
jack is a banker and jaaaaaaaaaaaaane she is clerk and both of them save their monies and when they come home from work. oooooooooooooooooooooh sitting down by the fire ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the radio does play. |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 8:53 AM Author: Electric lavender set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312556) |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 9:36 AM Author: misanthropic indian lodge 1st grade humor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312581) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:21 PM Author: Iridescent charismatic genital piercing titcr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9666048) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:12 PM Author: Ultramarine vigorous crotch I just farted for about the hundredth time today. Literally. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9665997) |