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Just farted, office smells like an asshole.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM Author: yellow piazza Oh Christ. Literally smells like something died in my ass. I can't stop sniffing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136241) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Crimson thirsty striped hyena halford this had your markings written all over it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136248) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: aphrodisiac hot giraffe now so do his tighty-whiteys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: marvelous burgundy hall hairy legs have you pooped yet today? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136249) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: stubborn milk range I don't know how he waits so long. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136253) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: yellow piazza I never have to go until about 11. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136260) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: stubborn milk range I actually wish I was that way. I would be more awake and could enjoy it more, like waiting right up to the point that you know it's going to feel best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136275) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: yellow piazza It's not as fun as it sounds. The worst is if it comes a bit too early and I'm on the metro or something. I start sweating, get dizzy... it's not fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136283) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:43 AM Author: Umber Cerebral Point Toaster i've always wondered why you get dizzy. is it b/c you're extracting so much energy to hold it in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136298) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:44 AM Author: yellow piazza I'm not sure either. But it's literally the worst feeling in the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136309) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Umber Cerebral Point Toaster true. especially when you know you can't do anything about it. you just gotta hold it in and pray. it's been awhile since i've shit my pants, but there's always a worry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136318) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: stubborn milk range Have you ever crapped your pants? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136319) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: yellow piazza Of course. Most recently my senior year in college. Hung over, driving my girlfriend home to her apartment, had to pull over because I thought I was going to vomit, instead had diarrhea all over myself. Fun morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136329) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: stubborn milk range That's lucky. My last one happened at work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136352) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:50 AM Author: yellow piazza Yikes, that's a nightmare. Especially if you have to take the train home. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136359) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:16 AM Author: stubborn milk range Awful. The worst ever.
I was sitting at my desk and felt like I had to release a normal, if substantial fart. I briefly considered the remote chance that it might be more and thought about hitting the can, but I said fuck it and fearlessly let loose. I immediately faced my horrifying mistake. I wasn't taking a gas exit; I was taking a wet, viscous shit.
I clenched my anus, hoping to suck it back in, or at least plug up the stench seeping through the back of my khakis. But it was no use. Within just a moment, I was sitting in a thick, mud-like plume the color of peanut butter. Overcome by effluvium, I clutched my nostrils and stood. I felt a slow drip roll down the back of my leg. I turned around. It had stained the cloth of my office chair.
I grabbed my coat, locked my office door, and hit the train. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:18 AM Author: yellow piazza I'm crying! Best story ever! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136587) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:20 AM Author: stubborn milk range You know how shit is nice and warm? Not after 20 minutes. It's cold. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136618) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:21 AM Author: yellow piazza Ooh, I just got the chills. I've definitely never felt cold shit. I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136629) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:31 AM Author: stubborn milk range It's probably worth it just to see. This weekend, crap your pants and stand outside for a few minutes.
Especially if that older broad is coming. It'll test her mettle. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:35 AM Author: Galvanic effete useless brakes I almost pissed my pants reading this one. you should warn people before you drop bombs like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136772) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:24 AM Author: Galvanic effete useless brakes 185. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136655) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 12:14 PM Author: chest-beating location absolutely exquisite. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137264) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: stubborn milk range Why II? You can't get banned here can you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137913) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:29 PM Author: Impertinent racy boistinker so the next day you had to return to caked shit on your office chair?
i would have wiped the chair down before leaving. i bet all your khakis smell like shit now. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:31 PM Author: stubborn milk range I returned to the office that day wearing different pants. I cleaned if off as well as I could with wet paper towels, but a faint stain remained.
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: Impertinent racy boistinker I'm going to carefully check all my future office chairs very carefully from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138865) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: stubborn milk range I've sniffed the office chairs of hot associates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138876) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: yellow piazza A+ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138886) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:11 PM Author: stubborn milk range Weekends were fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195428) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:14 PM Author: Dashing azure gaping Were you the kind of guy who also sniffed their shoes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195449) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:57 PM Author: stubborn milk range No. I couldn't care less about feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195775) |
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Date: June 21st, 2005 5:12 PM Author: sooty titillating son of senegal Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the security cameras picked this up? Or, the post where you wipe the remaining scat off your chair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3075099) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: irradiated indian lodge excellent writing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287049) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: irradiated indian lodge excellent cunnilingus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287050) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: stubborn milk range I think so. It becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. The same thing happens when I take a leak when I'm really hung over. I start to get cold sweats and have to lean against the wall with my right arm.
Edit: it's the same feeling, but for different reasons, i think |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: hairraiser black woman boltzmann i never understood that part of the morning after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136320) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:48 AM Author: stubborn milk range When that happens in the morning when I'm hungover and have peeled myself off the bed solely because I have to piss so bad I might die, it's like time slows down. A piss that would normally seem like 20 seconds feels like 20 minutes. Things blur and grog. Agony. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136344) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: yellow piazza Yeah. It's a catch-22 though, because the more you think about it the worse it gets. But you can't not think about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136321) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Umber Cerebral Point Toaster yep, exactly. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136336) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Umber Cerebral Point Toaster but i thought that was just b/c a person is drunk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136334) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: stubborn milk range Drunk only in that way that you're still kind of drunk and dazed after you spent the night before drinking your tits off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136356) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: yellow piazza No. Which means I'm smelling air that rushed directly past my feces. Which is kind of cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136258) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: marvelous burgundy hall hairy legs yes. it is way cool. Whenever I would fart bad as a kid my mother would always tel me to go poop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: stubborn milk range The two aren't necessarily related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136270) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: marvelous burgundy hall hairy legs my mom and I are related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136281) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: high-end gunner gay wizard underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: stubborn milk range Farts feel really good when you've got a log in. You can kind of feel the fart maneuver around the loaf before it comes out good and dry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: yellow piazza You have a way with words. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136274) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Umber Cerebral Point Toaster yes, definitely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136279) |
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Date: September 7th, 2005 1:16 AM Author: chest-beating location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3763558) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:05 AM Author: histrionic legal warrant business firm i think about this post on a regular basis.
pretty much every time i fart. |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:45 AM Author: glittery rough-skinned church pfft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310224) |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:48 AM Author: narrow-minded swashbuckling hissy fit affirmative action bumped too soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310252) |
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:58 PM Author: stubborn milk range Ha. Just re-read this thread. Makes me want to noodle my yammies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#143035) |
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Date: May 9th, 2004 12:18 AM Author: stubborn milk range (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#417645) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 6:04 AM Author: Frisky comical stead bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287023) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 1:34 AM Author: stubborn milk range I loved this thread.
Hi Euphronius! |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:14 AM Author: shaky institution this is truly hilarious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645803) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:08 AM Author: godawful curious cumskin for like the last month, my oldest dog, who's 11, has been ripping arse constantly. the house smells like a mortuary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645765) |
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Date: November 11th, 2004 11:53 AM Author: Hyperventilating Odious Rehab i just laughed in class
way to go, blue
filtering "fart" was an okay time |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:06 PM Author: Dashing azure gaping This thread is truly, truly, truly outrageous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195399) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:07 PM Author: stubborn milk range tubgirl is outrageous.
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:11 PM Author: Dashing azure gaping http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/play.cfm/sound_iid.29754
Play the file. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:13 PM Author: Impertinent racy boistinker i'm afraid to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195937) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:15 PM Author: Dashing azure gaping It'll bring back memories. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195955) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:37 PM Author: Impertinent racy boistinker Great bump. This thread is one of the all time classics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2196187) |
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Date: May 26th, 2005 1:44 PM Author: Coral theatre Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2862767) |
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Date: July 30th, 2007 12:40 PM Author: Thriller brethren tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8450886) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:41 PM Author: citrine misunderstood spot In the spirit of the day, biz-ump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922072) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:46 PM Author: Slate pontificating house party of the first part That's strange because my farts have an odor that couldn't be more distinct from the smell of my asshole. Yes, I've touched it and smelled my finger before. So sue me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922104) |
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Date: June 19th, 2005 11:04 AM Author: aromatic brilliant faggotry mood bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3055727) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 9:52 PM Author: green state selfie bumping funny blue threads hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146148) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 10:25 PM Author: stubborn milk range Nice. I miss him a hole lot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146436) |
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Date: October 20th, 2005 12:10 PM Author: canary fluffy dopamine newt bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4091948) |
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Date: December 8th, 2005 6:51 PM Author: Useless Free-loading Gas Station babump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4500486) |
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Date: December 21st, 2005 5:44 PM Author: bronze legend sanctuary I just spread the love myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4632464) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:37 PM Author: narrow-minded swashbuckling hissy fit affirmative action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750286) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: embarrassed to the bone adventurous twinkling uncleanness Coffee is a diharettic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750325) |
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Date: February 8th, 2006 11:22 PM Author: chest-beating location http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5034469) |
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Date: May 11th, 2006 10:31 PM Author: haunting menage hunting ground just farted something awful, was reminded of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5768272) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:27 AM Author: Obsidian Supple School Bump. HRP is outstanding in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892878) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:30 AM Author: arrogant hideous principal's office I can't believe he's been posting here for 2 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892884) |
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Date: June 18th, 2006 8:20 PM Author: chest-beating location Just farted. Room smells like an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6014942) |
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Date: September 16th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: exciting bawdyhouse bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6622983) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 5:56 AM Author: histrionic legal warrant business firm rebump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422958) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:08 AM Author: Thriller brethren tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748359) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:10 AM Author: chest-beating location titcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748366) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:11 AM Author: Navy nibblets Sweet. I remember this gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748378) |
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Date: November 9th, 2006 11:47 AM Author: cerise double fault becky This is my present situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6956256) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:05 PM Author: narrow-minded swashbuckling hissy fit affirmative action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7289244) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: Navy nibblets Nice. This one never gets old.
Whatever happened to blue? |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: Bateful magenta idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422289) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 2:04 AM Author: Cyan Lascivious Stag Film HRP's posts in this thread are retarded and obvious. good job! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422331) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:48 AM Author: translucent shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7720565) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: narrow-minded swashbuckling hissy fit affirmative action (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7905145) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:20 PM Author: Vigorous roast beef You know, those were different times. Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse, and those ladies, they rolled their eyes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8350411) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:26 PM Author: razzmatazz olive library i'll tell ya someting
jack is a banker and jaaaaaaaaaaaaane she is clerk and both of them save their monies and when they come home from work. oooooooooooooooooooooh sitting down by the fire ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the radio does play. |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 8:53 AM Author: glassy plaza mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312556) |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 9:36 AM Author: soggy nursing home ladyboy 1st grade humor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312581) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:21 PM Author: Confused floppy skinny woman heaven titcr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9666048) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:12 PM Author: Bright Stirring Market I just farted for about the hundredth time today. Literally. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9665997) |