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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
motley indian lodge persian
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Tripping Hall Selfie
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
judgmental indirect expression
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Unholy marvelous state
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
mewling arousing deer antler
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
dark feces trump supporter
  04/30/21
...
contagious autistic home pozpig
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
dark feces trump supporter
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
motley indian lodge persian
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Tripping Hall Selfie
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
dark feces trump supporter
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Tripping Hall Selfie
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
bonkers famous landscape painting
  04/30/21
...
Curious pit
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
stirring national security agency mental disorder
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
cerebral crawly theater stage
  04/30/21
...
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
...
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...
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  04/30/21
...
heady legal warrant circlehead
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
turquoise dysfunction
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Wonderful Hot Step-uncle's House
  04/30/21
...
Smoky Locus French Chef
  04/30/21
...
hateful nursing home
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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...
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As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
fear-inspiring territorial kitty cat genital piercing
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
contagious autistic home pozpig
  04/30/21
...
Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
contagious autistic home pozpig
  04/30/21
...
sickened idiot
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center
  04/30/21
...
fiercely-loyal forum
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
motley indian lodge persian
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
trip puppy locale
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
trip puppy locale
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Amethyst aphrodisiac stage
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
trip puppy locale
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Tripping Hall Selfie
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
concupiscible institution immigrant
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
at-the-ready abnormal cruise ship
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
contagious autistic home pozpig
  04/30/21
...
fiercely-loyal forum
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
spectacular godawful area
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
electric arrogant azn
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
electric arrogant azn
  04/30/21
...
dark feces trump supporter
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
hateful nursing home
  04/30/21
...
Smoky Locus French Chef
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Jade trust fund stock car
  04/30/21
...
purple school cafeteria
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
insane scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge
  04/30/21
Wow
insane scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge
  04/30/21
...
Citrine Beta Haunted Graveyard Becky
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
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...
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Curious pit
  04/30/21
titcr.
fiercely-loyal forum
  04/30/21
180
multi-colored ruddy macaca
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passionate striped hyena crackhouse
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Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib
  04/30/21
holy shit
supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven
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attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
passionate striped hyena crackhouse
  04/30/21
how
big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center
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...
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Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib
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magical weed whacker university
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supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven
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this is incredible
magical weed whacker university
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sienna painfully honest chapel
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wow
180 Lemon Brunch Elastic Band
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mischievous range goal in life
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
umber community account rigpig
  04/30/21
...
sickened idiot
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Scarlet Garrison
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
brindle blathering laser beams
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
mentally impaired aquamarine halford
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
charismatic people who are hurt gas station
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
odious rehab
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Provocative Slap-happy Pisswyrm
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib
  04/30/21
...
supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven
  04/30/21
...
cerebral crawly theater stage
  04/30/21
...
Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge
  04/30/21
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supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
seedy location
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
cerebral crawly theater stage
  04/30/21
What’s that
ebony orchestra pit
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
cerebral crawly theater stage
  04/30/21
...
passionate striped hyena crackhouse
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Startled stimulating rigor half-breed
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Startled stimulating rigor half-breed
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Puce Aromatic Internal Respiration Mad-dog Skullcap
  04/30/21
I am gay
Hairraiser Fanboi Blood Rage
  04/30/21
great thread
Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
sinister incel resort
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
concupiscible institution immigrant
  04/30/21
...
concupiscible institution immigrant
  05/02/21
...
concupiscible institution immigrant
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
cerebral crawly theater stage
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
purple school cafeteria
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
motley indian lodge persian
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Peach Comical Tanning Salon
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: motley indian lodge persian

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Tripping Hall Selfie

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: judgmental indirect expression

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Unholy marvelous state

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: mewling arousing deer antler
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: dark feces trump supporter

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: contagious autistic home pozpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: dark feces trump supporter

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: motley indian lodge persian

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Tripping Hall Selfie

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: dark feces trump supporter

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Tripping Hall Selfie

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: bonkers famous landscape painting

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Curious pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376168)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: stirring national security agency mental disorder

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: passionate striped hyena crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Rusted sweet tailpipe international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: heady legal warrant circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: turquoise dysfunction

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44453959)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Wonderful Hot Step-uncle's House

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376178)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Smoky Locus French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: hateful nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: red nubile shrine electric furnace

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: fear-inspiring territorial kitty cat genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: spectacular godawful area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Citrine Beta Haunted Graveyard Becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: thriller impressive site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: passionate striped hyena crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Titillating hyperventilating church turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: fear-inspiring territorial kitty cat genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: fear-inspiring territorial kitty cat genital piercing

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: contagious autistic home pozpig

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: contagious autistic home pozpig

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: sickened idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: motley indian lodge persian

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: trip puppy locale

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: trip puppy locale

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Amethyst aphrodisiac stage

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: trip puppy locale

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Tripping Hall Selfie

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: concupiscible institution immigrant

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: at-the-ready abnormal cruise ship

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: contagious autistic home pozpig

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: spectacular godawful area

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: electric arrogant azn

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: electric arrogant azn

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: dark feces trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376330)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: hateful nursing home

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Smoky Locus French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376336)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Jade trust fund stock car

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: purple school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: insane scourge upon the earth

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: insane scourge upon the earth

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Citrine Beta Haunted Graveyard Becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Tripping Hall Selfie

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: multi-colored ruddy macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: 180 Lemon Brunch Elastic Band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Curious pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal forum

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: multi-colored ruddy macaca

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: passionate striped hyena crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: passionate striped hyena crackhouse

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376708)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: big bat shit crazy idea he suggested center

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Titillating hyperventilating church turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: magical weed whacker university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Adventurous Public Bath Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: magical weed whacker university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: magical weed whacker university

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: sienna painfully honest chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: 180 Lemon Brunch Elastic Band

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: multi-colored ruddy macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: mischievous range goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: umber community account rigpig

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: sickened idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Scarlet Garrison

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: brindle blathering laser beams

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: mentally impaired aquamarine halford

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: charismatic people who are hurt gas station

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: odious rehab

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Provocative Slap-happy Pisswyrm

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Submissive Flushed Jewess Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: supple honey-headed wrinkle heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: seedy location

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: ebony orchestra pit

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: passionate striped hyena crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Startled stimulating rigor half-breed

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Startled stimulating rigor half-breed

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Puce Aromatic Internal Respiration Mad-dog Skullcap

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Hairraiser Fanboi Blood Rage

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Bull headed talented travel guidebook shitlib

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: sinister incel resort

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: concupiscible institution immigrant

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: concupiscible institution immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: concupiscible institution immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: cerebral crawly theater stage

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: purple school cafeteria

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: motley indian lodge persian

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Peach Comical Tanning Salon

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Elisa#49827363)