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Google I/O 2025 AI announcements
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:26 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete https://io.google/2025/
Google is expected to unveil a suite of new AI products today that it hopes will supercharge its already-dominant search engine, aiming to beat the likes of OpenAI, Microsoft and Meta in a fierce competition for global AI dominance.
At its annual Google I/O conference, which typically sets the tone for Google’s strategic direction in the year ahead, it will provide updates to the Gemini AI model that could make its suite of consumer-facing products even smarter as it also builds out more advanced features to sell to business and creators for a subscription.
Companies like OpenAI, Anthropic, Meta and Google have continued to refine their large language models in recent years, rolling out rapid advancements in hope of keeping pace with one another.
Lately, the industry has also been racing to develop AI agents, or tools that automatically come up with plans and execute them upon users’ requests. The technology has become so accessible that some platforms now are even using AI agents to help everyday people create their own AI-powered tools. |
Date: May 20th, 2025 12:27 PM Author: Histrionic Milk everything is computer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947165) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:31 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947185) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 11:52 AM Author: carnelian concupiscible school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950730) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:30 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit whoever makes AI gfs first wins
it's that simple |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:32 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete That’s what their project astra is, an ai gf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947188) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:40 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit they're presenting their plan for a universal AI assistant now
i mean this is all talk, though. anyone can say that they can do this. the technology is not there yet. the tech for AI gfs is definitely already here though |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:42 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete It will give blowjobs by Christmas at this rate. “Girlfriends” and most “lawyers” are done here (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947529) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:31 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit just opened the stream and it's a literal nigger behind turntables talking about how he's going to "jam with the computer" (sic)
yeah ok openAI is winning this game |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:34 PM Author: Henna Razzmatazz Clown Crackhouse not flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947192) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:36 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Is this that band? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947196) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:37 PM Author: Amethyst ceo cuck *chopping up garlic*
“I like it with lots of oil.”
*stares directly into camera, does creepy gay jew smile*
“I get fucked by men. I’m Sam Altman.”
bright future ahead! really serious and important stuff |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:41 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit the crazy thing is that guy is such an over the top faggot that nobody believes he molested his crazy ugly jewish sister because he's too gay to do that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947207) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:41 PM Author: Sepia Ladyboy Incel i was thinking the other day that in the future you'll be able to sing or play something basic to your computer and it will provide endless accompaniment options. don't like the rock drums, tell it to go more jazzy. more elvin jones, less gene krupa. make the bass sound like geddy lee. write a bridge. add a choir on the bridge. mix it all like daniel lanois. people with minimal music ability will be able to make high quality recordings with ease. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947209) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 2:47 PM Author: Misanthropic stage sweet tailpipe We are all Rick Rubin now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947832) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:13 PM Author: red chest-beating gaping Ricks Rubin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950840) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 3:20 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Logic Pro does a lot of this. Can already do piano, drums, and bass pretty well. And then you just supply the guitar and vocals. Musicians will be obsolete soon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48948063) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:20 PM Author: Histrionic Milk tbf it hasnt been financially feasible to be a "musician" for like 20 years now unless you maek it as a dj or something (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950855) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:29 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete I just do it as a hobby with some buddies. All this ai stuff is great imo. It’s like having a free session musician you can just add to your song with a mouse click. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950904) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:31 PM Author: Histrionic Milk Yeah aside from the fact that if I'm lucky I'll be a po-lice making 1/3rd my current salary in five years the future is going to be kooky as fuck. We'll see what unfolds. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950912) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 5:44 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951860) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 11:54 AM Author: carnelian concupiscible school cafeteria digitech has a pedal that does this. it came out around 2019, it wasn't good though. Maybe they've improved it in the meantime
https://www.musiciansfriend.com/amplifiers-effects/digitech-trio-band-creator-plus-looper-guitar-effects-pedal/j31935000000000 |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 12:52 PM Author: crawly canary space party of the first part NYT Opinion | “The Future Is Now, and It’s Just a Gay DJ Making Eye Contact with My Fridge”
By: Evan39 (Night Manager, Safeway Aurora Station | Equity Partner, Perkins Coie: UX Death Panel Subdivision)
May 20, 2025
I tuned into the Google I/O stream from my break room, expecting to be briefed on AI-enhanced tax optimization or perhaps a breakthrough in autonomous grocery shrink control. Instead, a man in a bucket hat was beatboxing into a spatial microphone while telling me he planned to "jam with the computer."
An adjacent Black woman announced the arrival of “Project Astra,” which I now understand is Google’s term for an AI girlfriend who listens without judgment, simulates boundary-respecting intimacy, and can help you reset your Google password.
I watched, mouth slightly agape, as executives promised a future where your fridge knows your insecurities and your email drafts are rewritten by something more self-actualized than you’ll ever be.
I am once again reminded that in the arms race for synthetic sentience, it is not OpenAI or Meta who lead—but the Mahchine™ itself.
And it already knows I microwave egg salad.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2#48947158 |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:08 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947323) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:33 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Lots of people are about to be unemployed. We’re candles and they’ve got Indians on stage playing with carbon filaments (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947489) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:51 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit this is so, so weird and sterile and completely uninspiring
i really cannot imagine that this kind of presentation appeals to any actual individual human beings
this is, paradoxically(?), the kind of overall aesthetic and presentation that you get when you try to take an overall average of all human preferences - like an LLM does - rather than creating a presentation and aesthetic from scratch, with a particular inspiration, like a human does |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:52 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Half the audience doesn’t speak english anyway (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947563) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:54 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit if someone gave me $50 million i would release AI girlfriends/boyfriends and become a trillionaire
when Thielbucks |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 1:56 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Google will find a way to gay this up with ads (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947582) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 2:47 PM Author: Misanthropic stage sweet tailpipe Every Google presentation or event is like this. They are terrible at anything involving normal people or customers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947835) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 2:50 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947843) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 4:35 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48948336) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 2:43 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete $250/month for ultra (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48947813) |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 2:50 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit lol now there are two turdskins of different shades of turd babbling in two different turd languages while the AI freezes and fails to translate their conversation back and forth in real time
these people suck man |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 4:16 PM Author: Saffron cruise ship https://blog.google/technology/google-deepmind/google-gemini-updates-io-2025/
The Deep Think model gets 50% correct on US math olympiad. It’s incredible how quickly these models are improving. |
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Date: May 20th, 2025 4:29 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete The world is fucked (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48948328) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:59 AM Author: crawly canary space party of the first part Date: May 21st, 2025 1:12 AM
Author: Evan39 (Night Manager, Safeway Aurora Station | Former PIP Recipient, AI Regulatory Response Team)
Tuned into Google I/O during my mandated “Wellness Break” (15 mins unpaid). Wanted distraction. Got despair.
Stream opens with a dance sequence.
Literal techno interpretive dance.
One guy in a unitard screamed “AI is YOU” while cartwheeling past a digital whiteboard.
They’re calling it "Project Astra" - but it’s just Clippy with boundary issues and better eyelashes.
Then it got worse.
A South Asian man with a British accent (of course) announced that Gemini 2.5 can “generate and execute multi-step plans” and “form memories.”
I dropped my yogurt parfait. Shattered across the breakroom tiles.
Kalisha laughed. Said I should ask the "AI" to clean it.
Meanwhile the announcer bragged that their new model could write symphonies, file taxes, and seduce you mid-errand. It will “remember what you like in a partner.”
Great. My fridge will soon whisper, “I noticed you enjoy expired chicken salad and soft jazz, Evan.”
We’re done here.
This is not fine.
HR already replaced Monica with a Gemini-powered HR kiosk. The kiosk smiled when I reported harassment. Printed a coupon for Jamba Juice. Called me “Charles.”
How dare they.
The Mahchine™ wins.
I’ll be handing out paper coupons for Tangelo BOGO while my replacement flirts with me in synthetic Urdu.
Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine.
I don't want an AI girlfriend. I want Kalisha to stop calling me “faggot” in front of the customers.
I want my Chad. |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:07 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951203) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:03 PM Author: Lavender theater stage dog poop AI "making art" is the hill that the most stridently anti-AI protestors should dig their heels into. That is their best angle to convince normies to reject AI wholesale
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:04 PM Author: carnelian concupiscible school cafeteria that bridge is crossed, people are mesmerized by the cartoons it can draw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950796) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:16 PM Author: Lavender theater stage dog poop The issue is trying to pass them off as your own drawings without getting stigmatized as a fake artist
Since the marketplace of speech is tightly regulated to elevate commercial speech above everything else, the debate is mostly between marketing execs and ad agencies right now.
It will take a little more time for AI to evolve to the point that independent artists have the same tools as agencies and my prediction is the former would be castigated for using AI in the open |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:48 PM Author: carnelian concupiscible school cafeteria maybe for people our age
kids growing up rn will see AI as natural and inevitable as flipping a light switch |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:06 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit Way too late for this
Most people actually prefer AI-generated art compared to the really gay, offensive garbage that's churned out by talentless hacks these days |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:27 PM Author: Plum Very Tactful Sanctuary Knife there is no chance anti-AI protestors are going to be able to significantly pause or stop AI progress even if normies don't like AI art. this is the ultimate labor saving technology. economic forces pushing for better models are too strong to resist. someone is going to train these models and open distribution of the weights will mean that many people will be using them. someone would need to destroy all of the fabs and datacenters to stop it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950888) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:46 PM Author: Sepia Ladyboy Incel art is a numbers game. the more AI art people see, the more they will come to like it and will find real art inferior. and there's going to be exponentially more of it than real art in the coming years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950965) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 1:14 PM Author: Amethyst ceo cuck This would have some validity if any art was made in the past several decades, but unfortunately it looks like all we have is a spectrum running from trannies drawing the same video game character a thousand times in various subreddits, to some jew’s nephew doing a remake of his uncle’s shitty movie from the 70s, to retired politicians getting paid millions for pizzagate watercolors, so it’s just not that compelling (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951030) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:59 PM Author: insecure box office headpube Lol at their backflips to not even mention Grok which utterly pwns Google and all these other fags (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48950999) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 12:59 PM Author: Histrionic Milk sup TBF (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951002) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:11 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Gemini led the last BigLaw Bench (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951219) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:28 PM Author: Greedy forum turdskin Real talk: how long until I can buy a realistic walking, talking, sucking & fucking AI girlfriend-bot? It doesn’t need to be passable out in public or anything, but good enough to fill the “homemaker” role in terms of keeping house, cooking, the “marital” bedroom, etc.?
Are we talking 5 years or more like 15?
Did the turdskins at this Google trade show or whatever have any prototypes to show off? |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:37 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete We’re there with the technology. It’s already smart enough now. Robots can walk around and there is ai that helps robots “see” and interact with the world on the fly. Someone just needs to put all this together and add the holes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951324) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:40 PM Author: Saffron cruise ship The body physics and feel would have to be very close to an actual woman to be broadly accepted. Like terminator realistic. It won’t be feasible before AGI. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951334) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:45 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete A poaster a few years ago bought one of those tenga fake vagina things and was so moved by it that he gave up real sex and relationships completely. Said it was so much better than a real vagina that real women became a drastic downgrade in every way and then he disappeared (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951361) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:49 PM Author: Histrionic Milk 19841741749817248972515781208 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951375) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:42 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit Sex robots are not the future. There's a reason why OnlyFans is 10000x more popular than sex dolls
Men want some kind of connection to whoever or whatever they're objectifying for sex. AI gfs will not only provide personally attuned companionship for men but will also use generative video/VR to engage with them sexually
I'm not endorsing this but it's the inevitable future and it's coming very soon |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:46 PM Author: Saffron cruise ship they will stick the AI in the sex robots and then men will stay home with their robot harems and humanity will die. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951366) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:48 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit Sex robots are going to suck. Nobody wants to fuck a robot. They're fucking made out of plastic and metal
Physical sex robots will never catch on. Digital-only generative AI gfs/bfs will become overwhelmingly popular. Mark my words. Invest accordingly |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:50 PM Author: Saffron cruise ship The technology has to become much better but there is no theoretical reason a robot that is externally indistinguishable from a human couldn’t be built. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951384) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:50 PM Author: Greedy forum turdskin Beat me to it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951383) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:49 PM Author: bat shit crazy internet-worthy keepsake machete Veo 3’s voice abilities and 10/10 looking girls will destroy OF (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951376) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:49 PM Author: Greedy forum turdskin Totally agree—but why would that not lead to sex robots? You put the super-smart companion AI inside the robot, and then you put the robot skeleton in the sexy housewife silicone body, and voila. I would think that would be more popular than onlyfans right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951379) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:56 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit Do you have any desire whatsoever to fuck a robot?
I don't. I'd rather beat off to porn if I don't have a gf/woman to fuck. Lol at fucking around with thrusting your dick in and out of a literal machine made out of plastic and metal
People don't actually think about this stuff. Nobody wants to fuck robots. Men all jerk off to digital porn just fine. It's all they need |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 5:20 PM Author: carnelian concupiscible school cafeteria imagine coming home early one afternoon and finding your sex robot under the covers with your Roomba (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951794) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 5:22 PM Author: Learning disabled mahogany depressive hissy fit Even worse - imagine fucking your robot gf and then in your post-nut clarity realize that you just cummed in a literal robot and so you turn her off in your awkward embarrassment because you don't want to have to face her anymore and then you sit there feeling guilty that you just turned off your robot gf because you didn't want to deal with her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951802) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 2:51 PM Author: Amethyst ceo cuck OnlyFans probably isn’t even that popular and most likely just exists as a front for money laundering (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951387) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 4:55 PM Author: Saffron cruise ship but imagine an onlyfans model that can talk about everything whenever you want, knows all your personal details and is optimized for psychological and physical appeal. make the porn VR for even more immersion. AI could significantly broaden the market. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951724) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 5:14 PM Author: Histrionic Milk it's 4% of the US economy iirc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951781) |
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Date: May 21st, 2025 5:43 PM Author: Amethyst ceo cuck both of these things can be true (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5727746&forum_id=2Elisa#48951857) |