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39 year old lawyer dies after eating too much Halloween candy (link)

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naked garrison
  11/02/20
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Floppy Skinny Woman Office
  11/02/20
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Angry Concupiscible Multi-billionaire Foreskin
  11/02/20
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amethyst motley reading party
  11/02/20
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Histrionic Indigo Doctorate
  11/02/20
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Splenetic bawdyhouse trust fund
  11/02/20
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appetizing parlour
  11/02/20
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Adventurous Ratface
  11/02/20
He loved two things: billable hours and candy corn. And (due...
Umber wonderful stead sandwich
  11/02/20
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poppy massive chad
  11/03/20
The investigation revealed that Mark Farnham, 39, consumed a...
White Outnumbered Masturbator
  11/02/20
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Floppy Skinny Woman Office
  11/02/20
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naked garrison
  11/02/20
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Splenetic bawdyhouse trust fund
  11/02/20
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amethyst motley reading party
  11/02/20
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Thirsty Pale Hall Cumskin
  11/03/20
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arrogant brethren death wish
  11/03/20
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amethyst motley reading party
  11/03/20
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ruddy parlor karate
  11/03/20
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Claret school
  11/03/20
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Vibrant step-uncle's house
  11/03/20
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cyan legend
  11/03/20
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naked garrison
  10/25/24
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Racy free-loading rehab
  10/25/24
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Traditional Latin ass
  05/03/25
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butt cheeks
  05/03/25
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Trump Tariffs Can Do No Wrong
  05/03/25
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evan39
  05/03/25
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jevv
  05/03/25
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mark farnham
  05/03/25
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potluck
  05/04/25
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Khaki locale
  11/02/20
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drunken copper stag film jew
  11/02/20
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White Outnumbered Masturbator
  11/02/20
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Thirsty Pale Hall Cumskin
  11/02/20
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White Outnumbered Masturbator
  11/03/20
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arrogant brethren death wish
  11/03/20
WHEW!
poppy massive chad
  11/03/20
**New York Times – Metro Section** **November 1, 2025...
Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e
  05/03/25
evan please change the name from Garrish to Mark Farnham
jevv
  05/03/25
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evan39
  05/03/25
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jevv
  05/03/25
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third world or bust
  05/03/25


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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:09 PM
Author: naked garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241656)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:10 PM
Author: Floppy Skinny Woman Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241664)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:11 PM
Author: Angry Concupiscible Multi-billionaire Foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241682)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:13 PM
Author: amethyst motley reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241692)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:14 PM
Author: Histrionic Indigo Doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241703)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:17 PM
Author: Splenetic bawdyhouse trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241725)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:17 PM
Author: appetizing parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241727)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:18 PM
Author: Adventurous Ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241737)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:19 PM
Author: Umber wonderful stead sandwich

He loved two things: billable hours and candy corn. And (due to right-sizing at the firm) he was all out of billable hours.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241743)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 1:51 PM
Author: poppy massive chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254099)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:21 PM
Author: White Outnumbered Masturbator

The investigation revealed that Mark Farnham, 39, consumed approximately forty Hershey bars, dozens of Tootsie Rolls, a full pound of candy corn, a block of fudge, an entire bag of licorice, fifty Pixy Stix, as well as, somewhat ironically, a container of Life Savers.

"We've never seen anything like this, and want to remind the public of the real dangers involved with eating candy in such quantities," said Lt. Bryan Hill, a police officer who responded to the initial call. "I don't know if you've ever seen a grown man on the floor surrounded by Reese's Pieces..." he added before breaking down, clearly overcome by emotion.

Each year, at least 100 Americans die from candy-related deaths, with most occurring on Halloween.

http://cityjournal.com/news/houston-man-dies-candy-overdose.htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241759)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:22 PM
Author: Floppy Skinny Woman Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241766)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:25 PM
Author: naked garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241789)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:40 PM
Author: Splenetic bawdyhouse trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241908)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:42 PM
Author: amethyst motley reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241922)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 1:49 PM
Author: Thirsty Pale Hall Cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254086)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 1:51 PM
Author: arrogant brethren death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254094)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 2:03 PM
Author: amethyst motley reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254257)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 2:09 PM
Author: ruddy parlor karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254313)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 2:11 PM
Author: Claret school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254355)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 2:13 PM
Author: Vibrant step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254387)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 2:15 PM
Author: cyan legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254401)



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Date: October 25th, 2024 12:04 PM
Author: naked garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48239121)



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Date: October 25th, 2024 12:05 PM
Author: Racy free-loading rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48239127)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 3:39 AM
Author: Traditional Latin ass



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48900723)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 5:26 AM
Author: butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48900754)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 5:27 AM
Author: Trump Tariffs Can Do No Wrong (TDNW)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48900756)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:33 PM
Author: evan39



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902184)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:50 PM
Author: jevv



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902210)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:52 PM
Author: mark farnham (his own flesh as well as all space was still a cage)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902212)



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Date: May 4th, 2025 12:08 AM
Author: potluck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902316)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:21 PM
Author: Khaki locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241760)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:21 PM
Author: drunken copper stag film jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241763)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:39 PM
Author: White Outnumbered Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241902)



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Date: November 2nd, 2020 12:40 PM
Author: Thirsty Pale Hall Cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41241912)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 10:57 AM
Author: White Outnumbered Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41251986)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 1:50 PM
Author: arrogant brethren death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254089)



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Date: November 3rd, 2020 1:51 PM
Author: poppy massive chad

WHEW!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#41254095)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:22 AM
Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing)

**New York Times – Metro Section**

**November 1, 2025**

---

**He Billed Until He Burst: Midtown Attorney Dies After Halloween Candy Binge**

*By Noreen Valenti-Aminpour*

**NEW YORK** — Evan Garrish, 39, of Murray Hill, a senior associate at Halberd & Halberd LLP, was found unresponsive early Thursday morning beside a half-eaten bag of fun-sized Snickers and a glowing iPad still open to a redlined markup of an ERISA compliance memo.

According to preliminary autopsy reports, Garrish suffered acute glycemic arrest after ingesting what NYPD sources described as “a frankly astonishing” quantity of seasonal candy—including, but not limited to, candy corn, Milk Duds, and what one paramedic referred to as “at least nine Bit-O-Honeys.”

Coworkers described Garrish as “relentlessly diligent” and “quietly jittery,” noting that he had recently joked about skipping firm-sponsored flu shots “to save time for billing.”

“He loved two things,” said his paralegal, Lila Zheng: “Billable hours and candy corn. In that order.”

Garrish’s death has reignited debate within New York’s legal circles about the toxic interplay between long hours, glucose dependence, and “performative wellness culture.”

“It’s a tragedy,” said senior partner Milton Sclade, pausing outside the firm’s 38th-floor conference center. “We’ve already updated our handbook to recommend no more than five Almond Joys per workday. We’re also piloting a grief mindfulness session on Teams next Friday.”

His last Slack message, timestamped 1:13 a.m., read simply:

> “Running a little hyper but should be done with the Non-Compete Appendix by 2ish. Also ate 47 candy pumpkins. Nauseous. Don’t tell Tabitha.”

Garrish is survived by his houseplant, a Bluetooth mug warmer, and a sealed envelope addressed “For When They Make Me Partner.”

**Link:** [www.nytimes.com/evan39-halloween-candy-tragedy](https://www.nytimes.com/evan39-halloween-candy-tragedy)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48901049)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:35 PM
Author: jevv

evan please change the name from Garrish to Mark Farnham

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902189)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:36 PM
Author: evan39



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902192)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 10:38 PM
Author: jevv



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902194)



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Date: May 3rd, 2025 11:57 PM
Author: third world or bust



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4669574&forum_id=2Elisa#48902308)