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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/03/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Mentally impaired cobalt sound barrier
  12/03/18
ty!
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Aquamarine Chapel Hominid
  12/03/18
...
glittery grizzly partner legend
  12/24/21
...
Thriller Avocado National Security Agency
  12/03/18
...
Sadistic Toilet Seat Marketing Idea
  12/03/18
...
Stubborn university
  12/03/18
...
spectacular dilemma codepig
  12/03/18
...
Aquamarine Chapel Hominid
  12/03/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/07/18
...
fishy cowardly half-breed
  12/07/18
...
Buff multi-colored pistol
  12/07/18
...
embarrassed to the bone brilliant trailer park cuckoldry
  12/07/18
...
lake gunner box office
  12/07/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/14/18
...
irradiated iridescent milk orchestra pit
  12/14/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/18
...
Thriller Avocado National Security Agency
  12/24/18
...
Gold nibblets parlor
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Vigorous National
  12/24/18
120
Ultramarine filthy senate
  12/24/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/18
...
Ultramarine filthy senate
  12/24/18
...
bright crackhouse famous landscape painting
  12/24/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/18
...
exhilarant thirsty school
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Odious Gay Wizard
  12/24/18
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/16/21
...
Hilarious theatre
  12/24/18
...
Know-it-all Abode
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Black diverse parlour depressive
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  07/01/19
...
Thriller Avocado National Security Agency
  07/01/19
...
Thriller Avocado National Security Agency
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/10/19
getting close...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
...
Stimulating honey-headed ratface den
  12/24/19
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
...
Costumed territorial haunted graveyard scourge upon the earth
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
spruce low-t field
  12/24/19
...
trip buck-toothed laser beams hissy fit
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Odious Gay Wizard
  12/24/19
lol
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
This
glittery grizzly partner legend
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Shimmering zippy bbw bawdyhouse
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
...
pale business firm mad cow disease
  12/24/19
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
glittery grizzly partner legend
  12/24/19
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/19
...
jet-lagged temple
  12/24/19
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/15/20
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/23/20
...
Vermilion Comical Internal Respiration
  12/24/20
It's time.
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/24/20
...
Buff multi-colored pistol
  12/24/20
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/16/21
...
bright crackhouse famous landscape painting
  12/16/21
...
Vermilion Comical Internal Respiration
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/20/21
Lmao
appetizing flushed brunch feces
  12/20/21
...
Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop
  12/22/21
...
appetizing flushed brunch feces
  12/22/21
...
talented tripping psychic dopamine
  12/24/21
...
glittery grizzly partner legend
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Mentally impaired cobalt sound barrier

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Aquamarine Chapel Hominid

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: glittery grizzly partner legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Thriller Avocado National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Sadistic Toilet Seat Marketing Idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Stubborn university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: spectacular dilemma codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Aquamarine Chapel Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: fishy cowardly half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Buff multi-colored pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: embarrassed to the bone brilliant trailer park cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: lake gunner box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: irradiated iridescent milk orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Thriller Avocado National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Gold nibblets parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Vigorous National

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Ultramarine filthy senate

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Ultramarine filthy senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: bright crackhouse famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: exhilarant thirsty school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Odious Gay Wizard

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Hilarious theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Know-it-all Abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Black diverse parlour depressive

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Thriller Avocado National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Thriller Avocado National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Stimulating honey-headed ratface den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Costumed territorial haunted graveyard scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: spruce low-t field

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: trip buck-toothed laser beams hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Odious Gay Wizard

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: glittery grizzly partner legend

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Shimmering zippy bbw bawdyhouse

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: pale business firm mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: glittery grizzly partner legend

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: jet-lagged temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Vermilion Comical Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Buff multi-colored pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: bright crackhouse famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Vermilion Comical Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: appetizing flushed brunch feces

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Ebony Hairraiser Office Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: appetizing flushed brunch feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: talented tripping psychic dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: glittery grizzly partner legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538935)