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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
histrionic faggotry
  12/03/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Useless Lime Potus
  12/03/18
ty!
histrionic faggotry
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Startling idea he suggested
  12/03/18
...
Drunken cerebral love of her life
  12/24/21
...
Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit
  12/03/18
...
Appetizing base ratface
  12/03/18
...
Shaky hominid university
  12/03/18
...
magenta contagious state faggot firefighter
  12/03/18
...
Startling idea he suggested
  12/03/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/07/18
...
curious mildly autistic hospital yarmulke
  12/07/18
...
hairraiser alpha kitchen
  12/07/18
...
Coiffed Self-absorbed Indirect Expression Forum
  12/07/18
...
cobalt genital piercing
  12/07/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/14/18
...
talented bright tanning salon friendly grandma
  12/14/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/18
...
Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit
  12/24/18
...
Outnumbered purple elastic band home
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Trip lavender generalized bond
  12/24/18
120
greedy territorial space
  12/24/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/18
...
greedy territorial space
  12/24/18
...
Bisexual Razzmatazz Azn Nursing Home
  12/24/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/18
...
Motley set national security agency
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Deep very tactful messiness
  12/24/18
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/16/21
...
jet-lagged fat ankles
  12/24/18
...
Green Cumskin Chapel
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Odious ocher meetinghouse
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
histrionic faggotry
  07/01/19
...
Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit
  07/01/19
...
Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
histrionic faggotry
  12/10/19
getting close...
histrionic faggotry
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
...
impertinent glittery corn cake
  12/24/19
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
...
mischievous sick ticket booth
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
boyish free-loading whorehouse ladyboy
  12/24/19
...
Pontificating razzle digit ratio
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Deep very tactful messiness
  12/24/19
lol
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
This
Drunken cerebral love of her life
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Maize bonkers property
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
...
insanely creepy toilet seat
  12/24/19
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Drunken cerebral love of her life
  12/24/19
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/19
...
Deranged Field Queen Of The Night
  12/24/19
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/15/20
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/23/20
...
hyperventilating resort
  12/24/20
It's time.
histrionic faggotry
  12/24/20
...
hairraiser alpha kitchen
  12/24/20
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/16/21
...
Bisexual Razzmatazz Azn Nursing Home
  12/16/21
...
hyperventilating resort
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
histrionic faggotry
  12/20/21
Lmao
Adventurous peach chad
  12/20/21
...
histrionic faggotry
  12/22/21
...
Adventurous peach chad
  12/22/21
...
Alcoholic gaping
  12/24/21
...
Drunken cerebral love of her life
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Useless Lime Potus

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Startling idea he suggested

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Drunken cerebral love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Appetizing base ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Shaky hominid university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: magenta contagious state faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Startling idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: curious mildly autistic hospital yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: hairraiser alpha kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Coiffed Self-absorbed Indirect Expression Forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: cobalt genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: talented bright tanning salon friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Outnumbered purple elastic band home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Trip lavender generalized bond

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: greedy territorial space

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: greedy territorial space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Bisexual Razzmatazz Azn Nursing Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Motley set national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Deep very tactful messiness

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: jet-lagged fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Green Cumskin Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Odious ocher meetinghouse

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Vigorous cowardly orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: impertinent glittery corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: mischievous sick ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: boyish free-loading whorehouse ladyboy

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Pontificating razzle digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Deep very tactful messiness

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Drunken cerebral love of her life

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Maize bonkers property

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: insanely creepy toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Drunken cerebral love of her life

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Deranged Field Queen Of The Night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: hyperventilating resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: hairraiser alpha kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Bisexual Razzmatazz Azn Nursing Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: hyperventilating resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Adventurous peach chad

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: histrionic faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Adventurous peach chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Alcoholic gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Drunken cerebral love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538935)