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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/03/18
...
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
vigorous obsidian pit rigor
  12/03/18
ty!
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Trip Twinkling Indian Lodge
  12/03/18
...
Tantric voyeur
  12/24/21
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sickened love of her life windowlicker
  12/03/18
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  12/24/18
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clear unholy wagecucks meetinghouse
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Lavender Theater Scourge Upon The Earth
  12/24/18
120
canary razzle-dazzle theater stage
  12/24/18
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Primrose Senate Police Squad
  12/24/18
...
red dashing toaster hall
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
exhilarant rigpig newt
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  07/01/19
...
sickened love of her life windowlicker
  07/01/19
...
sickened love of her life windowlicker
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/10/19
getting close...
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  12/20/19
ding ding ding
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  12/24/19
...
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chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
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cerebral self-centered prole
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
salmon sadistic rehab
  12/24/19
...
Fantasy-prone Maize Dilemma
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Awkward Crackhouse
  12/24/19
lol
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/24/19
This
Tantric voyeur
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Painfully honest market
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/24/19
...
Adulterous Center Alpha
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...
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
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pure gold 180
Tantric voyeur
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Orchid Legal Warrant Native
  12/24/20
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  12/24/20
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chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/16/21
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boyish copper new version boltzmann
  12/16/21
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Orchid Legal Warrant Native
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit
  12/20/21
Lmao
bonkers church water buffalo
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: vigorous obsidian pit rigor

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Trip Twinkling Indian Lodge

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Tantric voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: sickened love of her life windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: thriller big-titted gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: curious national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Mahogany Heady Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Trip Twinkling Indian Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Odious Black French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: azure misanthropic mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Pale casino trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: yellow wonderful home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: cracking school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: sickened love of her life windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: clear unholy wagecucks meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Lavender Theater Scourge Upon The Earth

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: canary razzle-dazzle theater stage

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: canary razzle-dazzle theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: boyish copper new version boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: sticky heaven roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Awkward Crackhouse

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Primrose Senate Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: red dashing toaster hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: exhilarant rigpig newt

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: sickened love of her life windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: sickened love of her life windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Sepia aromatic dragon circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: cerebral self-centered prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: salmon sadistic rehab

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone Maize Dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Awkward Crackhouse

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Tantric voyeur

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Painfully honest market

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Adulterous Center Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Tantric voyeur

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: slimy appetizing station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Orchid Legal Warrant Native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: azure misanthropic mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: boyish copper new version boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Orchid Legal Warrant Native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: bonkers church water buffalo

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: chrome vivacious pistol hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: bonkers church water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Alcoholic lake mad cow disease tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Tantric voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Elisa#49538935)