Curb Your Enthusiasm S9 E1: The Grocery Store Clerk
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 14th, 2017 3:40 AM Author: Splenetic Den
[Larry and Cheryl, recently remarried, stand in the kitchen of their spacious home. Phone rings, and Cheryl answers]
CHERYL: Oh my God, that's terrible. People are really sick these days. First Trump, and now this. Okay, I'll talk to you later.
LARRY: What was that about?
CHERYL: Jeff and Susie said some guy was ranting about Jews down by the SaveMart last night. I can't believe people can still be so prejudiced. Larry, stop eating all the pretzels. We need those for the party!
LARRY: What? These are good!
[Later that evening, Larry bumps into Jeff and Susie at the SaveMart, a grocery store in Westwood]
LARRY: Hey, what's going on?
SUSIE: Did you hear? There's some sick fuck yelling about Jews outside the store.
JEFF: Yeah, he's completely crazy.
LARRY: Oh God, that's terrible. Jeff, where can I find those pretzels?
JEFF: What pretzels?
LARRY: You know, that kind that Cheryl bought here once.
SUSIE: Larry, Joseph Goebbels in on the loose in our neighborhood and all you care about are your fucking pretzels?
LARRY: They're good!
JEFF: Okay man, we've got to go. See you later.
LARRY: Sure, bye.
[Well-dressed male grocery employee approaches Larry near the frozen foods]
DEVIN: I couldn't help but overhear that you're looking for pretzels.
LARRY: Uh, yeah. They're those good ones, with the salt.
DEVIN: We have a whole aisle of pretzels over here. Let me show you.
LARRY: Okay, great.
[Awkward, uncoordinated Larry turns corner and knocks over an entire display as Devin looks on in horror]
DEVIN: Oh my God, I just finished that display! It took me three days to build that!
LARRY: Oh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
DEVIN: My boss is going to kill me!
LARRY: Uh, it was all my fault! He can't blame you, can he?
DEVIN: I'm going to lose my job! Now I have to stay here all night rebuilding the damn thing.
LARRY: Here, let me buy the pretzels, and I'll help you out.
[Larry and Devin partially rebuild the display as the store begins to close for the night]
LARRY: Boy, that was rough. I can't imagine doing that kind of work for very long.
DEVIN: Yeah, it totally sucks. Corporate is always making us do this kind of shit. I'm so sick of it. Damn, I just missed the bus.
LARRY: Here, let me give you a ride home.
DEVIN: Okay, great! I'm going to have to finish the display in the morning.
[The following afternoon, Larry and Cheryl return to SaveMart and see a crowd gathered out front. They enter the store and are horrified to see Devin's now completed display featuring a swastika and "FUCK JEWS" made from soda twelve-packs]
CROWD: That's him, that's the guy!
LARRY: What? No!
CHERYL: Larry, what did you do?
LARRY: No, I didn't build it, I just helped! I only built part of it!
CROWD: Get that Nazi bastard!
LARRY: No, it was Devin! It was Devin!
[Curb theme music plays as angry crowd descends upon Larry and Cheryl]
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3552621&forum_id=2Reputation#32825680) |
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