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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/03/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Cowardly striped hyena tanning salon
  12/03/18
ty!
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Razzle-dazzle Peach Hospital Deer Antler
  12/03/18
...
Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs
  12/24/21
...
cyan boyish center
  12/03/18
...
stirring messiness
  12/03/18
...
excitant university
  12/03/18
...
Infuriating Corner
  12/03/18
...
Razzle-dazzle Peach Hospital Deer Antler
  12/03/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/07/18
...
Sexy fragrant plaza
  12/07/18
...
Rose talented heaven faggot firefighter
  12/07/18
...
dull at-the-ready ratface
  12/07/18
...
Big-titted Copper Preventive Strike
  12/07/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/14/18
...
Glittery giraffe pistol
  12/14/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/18
...
cyan boyish center
  12/24/18
...
Citrine theater stage brethren
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
swashbuckling walnut parlour twinkling uncleanness
  12/24/18
120
high-end deranged mood
  12/24/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/18
...
high-end deranged mood
  12/24/18
...
Hot submissive station scourge upon the earth
  12/24/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/18
...
jade motley dilemma
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
brilliant bawdyhouse
  12/24/18
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/16/21
...
Learning Disabled Well-lubricated National
  12/24/18
...
Kink-friendly Fluffy Idiot
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
carnelian spectacular house legal warrant
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  07/01/19
...
cyan boyish center
  07/01/19
...
cyan boyish center
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/10/19
getting close...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
narrow-minded chocolate forum dingle berry
  12/24/19
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
amber underhanded theatre
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Khaki Slimy Public Bath Digit Ratio
  12/24/19
...
free-loading property fat ankles
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
brilliant bawdyhouse
  12/24/19
lol
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
This
Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
clear lascivious whorehouse roommate
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
ruddy blathering locale depressive
  12/24/19
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs
  12/24/19
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
dark regret
  12/24/19
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/15/20
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/23/20
...
big abusive indian lodge
  12/24/20
It's time.
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/24/20
...
Rose talented heaven faggot firefighter
  12/24/20
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/16/21
...
Hot submissive station scourge upon the earth
  12/16/21
...
big abusive indian lodge
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/20/21
Lmao
ivory step-uncle's house
  12/20/21
...
stubborn pit old irish cottage
  12/22/21
...
ivory step-uncle's house
  12/22/21
...
Territorial Chapel
  12/24/21
...
Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Cowardly striped hyena tanning salon

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Peach Hospital Deer Antler

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: cyan boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: stirring messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: excitant university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Infuriating Corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Peach Hospital Deer Antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Sexy fragrant plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Rose talented heaven faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: dull at-the-ready ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Big-titted Copper Preventive Strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Glittery giraffe pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: cyan boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Citrine theater stage brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: swashbuckling walnut parlour twinkling uncleanness

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: high-end deranged mood

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: high-end deranged mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Hot submissive station scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: jade motley dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: brilliant bawdyhouse

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Learning Disabled Well-lubricated National



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Kink-friendly Fluffy Idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: carnelian spectacular house legal warrant

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: cyan boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: cyan boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: narrow-minded chocolate forum dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: amber underhanded theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Khaki Slimy Public Bath Digit Ratio

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: free-loading property fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: brilliant bawdyhouse

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: clear lascivious whorehouse roommate

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: ruddy blathering locale depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: dark regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: big abusive indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Rose talented heaven faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Hot submissive station scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: big abusive indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: ivory step-uncle's house

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: stubborn pit old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: ivory step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Territorial Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Violet mentally impaired piazza hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538935)