LOL this passage from Herodotus reads like Fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: flame
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Date: August 28th, 2016 7:02 PM Author: laughsome space
Now the Egyptians, before the reign of their king Psammetichus, believed themselves to be the most ancient of mankind. Since Psammetichus, however, made an attempt to discover who were actually the primitive race, they have been of opinion that while they surpass all other nations, the Phrygians surpass them in antiquity. This king, finding it impossible to make out by dint of inquiry what men were the most ancient, contrived the following method of discovery:- He took two children of the common sort, and gave them over to a herdsman to bring up at his folds, strictly charging him to let no one utter a word in their presence, but to keep them in a sequestered cottage, and from time to time introduce goats to their apartment, see that they got their fill of milk, and in all other respects look after them. His object herein was to know, after the indistinct babblings of infancy were over, what word they would first articulate. It happened as he had anticipated. The herdsman obeyed his orders for two years, and at the end of that time, on his one day opening the door of their room and going in, the children both ran up to him with outstretched arms, and distinctly said "Becos." When this first happened the herdsman took no notice; but afterwards when he observed, on coming often to see after them, that the word was constantly in their mouths, he informed his lord, and by his command brought the children into his presence. Psammetichus then himself heard them say the word, upon which he proceeded to make inquiry what people there was who called anything "becos," and hereupon he learnt that "becos" was the Phrygian name for bread. In consideration of this circumstance the Egyptians yielded their claims, and admitted the greater antiquity of the Phrygians.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3334947&forum_id=2Reputation#31285698) |
Date: August 28th, 2016 7:22 PM Author: Massive Generalized Bond
THE LECTURER AND THE ACOLYTE
One day, at the beginning of a lesson at the academy, an arrogant lecturer strolled up to his podium and began to speak. "If Jove and the Pantheon be real, then may they strike me down before the sands of this hourglass reverse!"
The lecturer held the hourglass forward, and the acolytes observed as its sands ran down into the bottom chamber.
Then, just as the last grains were about to empty, an acolyte leaped up and ran to the podium, giving the lecturer a mighty shove and sending him crashing to the ground.
"You fool!" cried the lecturer. "Why did you do that!"
"Jove is busy protecting our legions in Parthia," he replied, "so he sent me."
The arrogant lecturer sobbed bitterly upon the floor as the other acolytes cheered and began a feast of wine and garum.
The lecturer... was dishonorable rogue Gaius Cossutius, the notorious brigand and criminal who drowned by the weight of the gold he had stolen from temples while escaping across the Tiber. And the student... was the great emperor Vespasian, founder of the Flavian dynasty.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3334947&forum_id=2Reputation#31285808) |
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