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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
well-lubricated ultramarine site
  12/03/18
...
well-lubricated ultramarine site
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
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  12/03/18
ty!
well-lubricated ultramarine site
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jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
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  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
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120
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beady-eyed turdskin
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
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  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
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Early December Bump
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  12/10/19
getting close...
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ding ding ding
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This deserves more bumps.
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glittery newt school cafeteria
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
narrow-minded slate lodge french chef
  12/24/19
lol
well-lubricated ultramarine site
  12/24/19
This
pontificating den
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
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ty, labor of love
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lube up your chimneys!
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pure gold 180
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Chri$tmas $pirit
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  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Ungodly crawly fat ankles genital piercing

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Dead Psychic Shrine

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: pontificating den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Tan cracking idiot range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: amethyst stirring plaza candlestick maker



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: heady hairy legs



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: overrated shitlib trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Dead Psychic Shrine



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: kink-friendly fuchsia elastic band



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: nighttime gaming laptop organic girlfriend



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Thriller public bath



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Vivacious Impertinent Native



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: internet-worthy house sandwich



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Tan cracking idiot range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Stimulating Autistic Yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Cowardly striped hyena dysfunction

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Crimson maniacal field

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Crimson maniacal field



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: odious set



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Self-centered Fluffy Center



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: narrow-minded slate lodge french chef

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Concupiscible sound barrier tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: beady-eyed turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: histrionic swollen old irish cottage

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

~*Christmas in July bump*~

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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Tan cracking idiot range



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Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Tan cracking idiot range



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: cerebral orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: mewling gas station athletic conference



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: ebony love of her life brunch

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: glittery newt school cafeteria



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: narrow-minded slate lodge french chef

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: pontificating den

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Tripping lay national security agency

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: irradiated coral station water buffalo



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: pontificating den

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: gold selfie



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: shimmering giraffe rehab



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: nighttime gaming laptop organic girlfriend



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: odious set



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: shimmering giraffe rehab



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Duck-like razzmatazz really tough guy

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: well-lubricated ultramarine site



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Duck-like razzmatazz really tough guy



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Laughsome ivory toilet seat whorehouse



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: pontificating den



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



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