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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/03/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Mahogany Half-breed
  12/03/18
ty!
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
violent emerald stage
  12/03/18
...
federal liquid oxygen
  12/24/21
...
beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth
  12/03/18
...
sapphire fragrant whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/03/18
...
mildly autistic cracking incel private investor
  12/03/18
...
Ultramarine concupiscible den
  12/03/18
...
violent emerald stage
  12/03/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/07/18
...
Insane Genital Piercing Gaming Laptop
  12/07/18
...
Motley Glassy Filthpig Base
  12/07/18
...
henna harsh people who are hurt address
  12/07/18
...
Offensive Personal Credit Line
  12/07/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/14/18
...
Hateful Theater Stage
  12/14/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/18
...
beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth
  12/24/18
...
chestnut provocative church building
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Carnelian aggressive yarmulke
  12/24/18
120
swashbuckling amethyst set athletic conference
  12/24/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/18
...
swashbuckling amethyst set athletic conference
  12/24/18
...
Dead fat ankles stag film
  12/24/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/18
...
poppy marvelous station
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Slate filthy french chef property
  12/24/18
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/16/21
...
Startling Skinny Woman Hunting Ground
  12/24/18
...
high-end lascivious legend plaza
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
comical cowardly regret
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  07/01/19
...
beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth
  07/01/19
...
beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/10/19
getting close...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
...
Milky location
  12/24/19
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
...
Vivacious narrow-minded business firm really tough guy
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
greedy dingle berry parlour
  12/24/19
...
Bateful coldplay fan public bath
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Slate filthy french chef property
  12/24/19
lol
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
This
federal liquid oxygen
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Charcoal crawly queen of the night alpha
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
...
Bright Bat Shit Crazy Pocket Flask Psychic
  12/24/19
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
federal liquid oxygen
  12/24/19
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/19
...
brindle party of the first part fanboi
  12/24/19
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/15/20
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/23/20
...
Exciting rigor
  12/24/20
It's time.
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/24/20
...
Motley Glassy Filthpig Base
  12/24/20
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/16/21
...
Dead fat ankles stag film
  12/16/21
...
Exciting rigor
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/20/21
Lmao
Unholy orchid turdskin jew
  12/20/21
...
ivory multi-colored sound barrier
  12/22/21
...
Unholy orchid turdskin jew
  12/22/21
...
twinkling frozen sex offender
  12/24/21
...
federal liquid oxygen
  12/25/23
...
FBI person
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Mahogany Half-breed

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: violent emerald stage

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: federal liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: sapphire fragrant whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: mildly autistic cracking incel private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Ultramarine concupiscible den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: violent emerald stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Insane Genital Piercing Gaming Laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Motley Glassy Filthpig Base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: henna harsh people who are hurt address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Offensive Personal Credit Line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Hateful Theater Stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: chestnut provocative church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Carnelian aggressive yarmulke

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: swashbuckling amethyst set athletic conference

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: swashbuckling amethyst set athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Dead fat ankles stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: poppy marvelous station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Slate filthy french chef property

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Startling Skinny Woman Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: high-end lascivious legend plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: comical cowardly regret

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: beady-eyed corn cake ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Milky location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Vivacious narrow-minded business firm really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: greedy dingle berry parlour

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Bateful coldplay fan public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Slate filthy french chef property

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: federal liquid oxygen

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Charcoal crawly queen of the night alpha

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Bright Bat Shit Crazy Pocket Flask Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: federal liquid oxygen

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: brindle party of the first part fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Exciting rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Motley Glassy Filthpig Base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Dead fat ankles stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Exciting rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Unholy orchid turdskin jew

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: ivory multi-colored sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Unholy orchid turdskin jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: twinkling frozen sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: federal liquid oxygen



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2betting#49538935)