McKinsey slut Jing Yang: "MY MTV SCREENTEST!!11"
Not a Unique Little Snowflake :(
President of the Howdy Doody Circus Army
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Date: December 18th, 2010 11:18 AM
I DID A SCREEN TEST AT MTV!!!111
I wonder if they asked her about using the strap-on to assrape her fuckbuddy...
I am deeply invested in my own femininity yet criticize
my partner when he admits to being too deeply invested
in his masculinity to, say, let me fuck him in the ass.
or maybe her New Year's Resolutions?
1. Get DPíd
2. Go to a swinger party
3. Have someone else use one of those remote-controlled vibes on me
or Zoe Yang's Cheating Strategies??
Cleaning up the wax and (unused) condoms before the ex gets here this afternoon. Ridiculous.
Or what Zoe Yang does when teh two guys figure out her cheating, and dump her skanky ass?
Two breakups in two days is more than this girl can handle without a grimace and a whimper. Rebound fucks, God Almighty, and a warm dark hole can all feel free to present themselves now.
Details emerge in the telling
* Zoe: I cant decide if I'm tickled or traumatized
* Alex: I think tickled
* Zoe: At one point I called him a Patrick Bateman wannabe and he said something to the tune of "I don't know who that is but shut up whore"
Or how Zoe Yang uses the people in her life like tissue paper?
Just talked, fought, cried, and fucked the ex for the last time. Shaky and panicky, donít know if anyone can deal with my passel of crazy for the long haul.
Just need to breathe now, and drink some chicken soup.
Date: December 18th, 2010 11:22 AM
Author: Not a Unique Little Snowflake :( (http://thechicktionary.com/ask)
Good gawd, who would blog sick shit like this???
Just had the weirdest sexual experience of my life
And coming from me, you know that means something.
This guy is playing so many games itís sad. First the whole ďIíll make sure youíre part of my plansĒ thing sans date, sans anything concrete, sans niceties. I let him come find me at a bar, we play pool, we make out, we grope.
He comes back to my place, we get naked, he drips hot wax all over me, ties me up with his shirt, smacks my tits up HARD, calling me bitch and whore and slut. Which is all fine, exceptÖ
Öhe goes limp when I say ďfuck meĒ and tries to cover it up by saying how heís not that impressed by my naked body.
(I know, I attract shitheads. He works in finance. Surprised?)
I chuckle and say thatís fine, the feelingís mutual, he should probably be getting home now. And he says something about how he might fuck me next time. Well, I donít feel strongly enough about him to hate-fuck him, so next time is probably not going to happen.
Truth is, he went to the same Ivy as the other guy Iím seeing, and I like the other guy a lot more, so this one was pretty much one-night-stand material from the beginning. Which was why I took him home and let him get his paws on that candle in the first place. (Donít men get it? Iíll only fuck you the first time if I donít like you.)
Date: December 18th, 2010 11:29 AM
and more azn me-so-horny blogging here:
NYC Financial Analyst Zoe Yang slutty pics/blog
Zoe Yijing Yang might call her blog Strictly Platonic, but
it hasn't always been that way...
Back in the day, before Zoe Yang started her stint at
McKinsey & Company, she was at Ponoma College,
where she caused quite a stir as a sex blogger.
Sex columnist Zoe Yang had some explaining to do after she wrote
a column she wrote last week that described how she used to do a little
role playing with her former boyfriend. I'll save you the sexually explicit
details and just say that Ms. Yang likes to pretend she's a Vietnamese
prostitute and her boyfriend is an American G.I circa the War Against
North Vietnamese Communist Aggression.
Zoe Yang blogged about sex and drugs (but not, AFAIK about rock n' roll).
Two of two happened one weekend night towards the end of the semester. C and I stayed in for some reason, and we decided to smoke. The week had been tough and we both needed to relax. I don't love weed; I always feel stupid for days afterward so I rarely touch it. But if there's one thing I do love about it, it's how it makes sex 80 times better.
When I give massages when I'm high, I put on music with a strong, steady rhythm, and I end up almost hypnotizing myself with the task. I knead like some master baker, only more creative with the body parts I use. Did you know that elbows are particularly excellent for working the deep tissue of butt muscles? I can tell how the person under my me feels because my whole being has melted into his skin. People tell me it's the best massage they've ever gotten. I also often dance when I'm high, just moving and spinning by myself for hours.
Sex usually follows massages and dancing - which often becomes lap-dancing, and it's the same investment in physicality. I hear meditation is supposed to make you more aware of everything happening inside you and around you. Stoned sex is like meditating, like the nerves in my brain have migrated into more pleasurable places and all my little body parts are as obscenely sensitive as tentacles.
The sad thing is, my memory of that night in April (or was it May?) is really, really hazy due to the same culprit. Weed giveth and weed taketh away. It probably did start with a massage. My memory begins with C sliding down my body as I lay back, too lazy to dissuade him. As with Malcolm, I had held off on letting C put his face in the general vicinity. Guys usually don't put up much of a fight when you grab their cocks and tell them you'd rather fuck.
His mouth was tentative, but at least he knew where to put it. Together, we explored: "harder," "suck..." "yes, like THAT," Through the green veil, everything felt sharper, slicker, better, like I was seeing a porno reel of what we were doing in my head and the nerves were juicing from two different places. A small tingle appeared and disappeared in my abdomen and I realized that maybe, just maybe...
"If you're doing it right, she should be humping your face," the sex educator from Babeland had announced to over 100 students gathered in Walker Lounge earlier that year. "Your entire face should be wet and your eyelashes should be like, gumming together afterward." Her words were the ones I recalled as I realized I had laced my fingers around the back of C's neck and was smothering him in my cunt. I was amused by the memory, but also briefly distracted. I pushed it away and returned to the possibility at hand (or mouth).
With Malcolm I hadn't dared move or even touch him, to say nothing of gyrating with abandon. He had been sweeter and sexier for the restraint his presence induced from me. It was a first, and with him I'd felt like a virgin. But C was my steadfast consort. His role in my life was not intrigue and adrenaline but a vanilla sort of pleasure, regardless of how kinky the sex itself was. A very delicious, but very safe flavor.
So even though holding his head and grinding against his mouth was probably the girl-on-guy equivalent of blowjob handlebars, I didn't worry about it too much. He pulled back slightly every few seconds to catch a breath. Pressure, I wanted to tell him, I need pressure like the pressure of your pelvis against me when we're fucking. I'm pulling you in harder and deeper because your mouth isn't cruel enough. I'm shivering because I'm close, and I can no longer say this in words, but whatever you do, don't ease up on the pressure.
But maybe the antithesis of pressure works too. In the end, it was mostly the sucking that did it - his lips and teeth a tight seal around my clit and some sharp intakes of breath and I was gone, digging my toes into the mattress and pushing even harder up against him to wring out every last shudder. I was making up for last time. This time I could definitely say, yes, I came, I came so hard I truly could not stop myself from screaming even though I tried, for our neighbors' sakes.
"Damn." He sat up slowly and gingerly dabbed his nose and chin with tissues.
"Haha sorry, I guess I kind of smothered you."
"That's ok. Just...wow." His expression was dazed awe. I didn't have to reiterate that it was only the second time I'd come from oral for him to treat my orgasm like it was special. I liked that. I deserve that.
Zoe Yang blogged about her "daddy issues" (though, note, she WAS drunk at the time...)
Drunk blogging is 80 times worse than drunk-dialing or drunk-texting. How self-indulgent of me, to let my whiskey-unleashed id scamper across the keyboard like that. Last night's post was one I hadn't planned on sharing until we'd been acquainted a few moons longer/never, but since the sentiment is out, I might as well elaborate.
I have Daddy issues. He made me feel generally inadequate all my life. I've never gotten close to friends, but I spill my guts to the person I'm fucking. That person is usually emotionally unavailable, because that's the type I need to prove that I am adequate and worthy to. That person is invariably no more capable of understanding me than anyone else in my life, but at least he can make me feel better by putting a penis inside me. When we break up, I cut him out of my life completely because he knows too much, and I find myself another. Repeat. That, my friends, is how sexual dependency is born. Even though I talk like it, I am not the poster girl for healthy sexing. Moving on.
A recount of last night:
Lawry party with about 100 people too many: 1
Sober striptease that didn't end in sex: 1
Sloppy sex hours later that I was too drunk to clean up: 1
Zoe being at the right place at the right time: 0
Drunken coeds, oedipal issues, bad grammar, cum...it's all here, folks!
Date: December 18th, 2010 11:36 AM
jesus...and not in the xmas sense
Yeah, sometimes my boyfriend and I play-act like Iím a virgin, mostly means alternately squirming and
eye-batting and giggling and pouting, and I do feel a pang of wistfulness that Iím not a virgin for him,
because itíd be sorta sweet, but this pang is greatly greatly outweighed by gratitude that I know what
the fuck Iím doing in bed and can make us both cum.
gotta pity this guy...no WAY he knew the cunt was blogging personal shit like this...unless the fukcer is BEYOND BETA
Date: December 29th, 2010 2:26 PM
Zoe Yang (Columbia Business School '16)
Harvard Business School
333 Morgan Hall
Boston, MA 02163 USA
Stephanie Pickman Monahan
Is that you Ned Monahan? u get it from Zoe Yang?
Stephanie Pickman Monahan
Jarett Lee Sitter
David Hutchinson II
Elizabeth Pickman- Flanagan
Stephanie Pickman Monahan
Shahbaz Akram Khan
Angel Krittinan Kongsomboonvech
Sarah Stein Lubrano
Office hours by appointment Michelle Chung
Office hours by appointment
Office hours by appointment Champika Fernando
Tuesdays 1-3pm at Gutman
Wednesdays, 12-2pm at MIT
Reserve time via email
Chris Marquis (Harvard)
Office hours by appointment Wilhelmina Peragine
Reserve time via email
Rebecca Givens Rolland
Office hours by appointment Deidre Witan
Office hours by appointment
Kristen San Miguel
Ye Sul Park
Stacy Herzog Berk
Date: December 18th, 2010 11:33 AM
Good news, though: she FINALLY realizes that her erstwhile "foodie" blogs were a moronic exercise:
"I donít think Iím a foodie anymore
"My gut reaction to this post was: UGH WHO EVEN CARES THIS IS SO DUMB WATERS IS DUMB CHANG IS DUMB SHUT UP ABOUT BURGERS AND PIZZA AND COFFEE ALREADY."
Only took the dumb bitch TWO YEARS, LOL!!11