Date: June 30th, 2011 10:32 AM
As reviewed in
The Good, the Bad, and the Really Really Bad
By Joshua Peter Tubbs
I. About this book
In order to accomplish 50,000 words, I’m going to have to do a lot of stuff, write about a lot of stuff and a lot of people. So I thought that I should just write about the more than 350 people in the Senior class at Timberlane! That seems like a good way to get a LOT of words with little work done. So this book is basically a description of each and every person through my eyes. Now, my opinion is not like everyone else’s so this is not exactly true and it is going to be quite interesting. It is also more based on the people instead of a fact for fact kind of nonfiction kind of deal. Also, a good portion is made up exaggerations that make this novel more interesting to think of. Of course, there excerpts of my life and works and some of the people had to be changed in order to protect my safety. There will be times when you think that I’m a really nice person, and other times when you think that I’m going to be a jerk, but that is what a book is for right?
The setting: Timberlane Regional High School, Plaistow New Hampshire. The plot: every senior in the 2009 – 2010 school year. We, like probably every other senior that breathes, like to spell it SEN10RS because it kind of makes sense, at least I think so. Every senior will be placed into a category of some sort, which will be listed later, given a rating from 0 – 10, described as “cool” (which is bad/sarcastic) or “kool” (which is good) and described for why I gave them that rating. Some will be all good aspects, others bad aspects, and others will have both. There will also be a lot of people that I’m not totally sure of, but still want to write a lot of words, so I will judge them based on appearances, because everyone does it, there is no getting around it. It wil go in alphabetical order, because that is just the easiest way out there right now, and I’m not going to think of a better way that is just as easy. I would also like to point out that I will be experimenting with different forms of writing, so bear with me. First, I will have to start with myself, seeing that I am the author of this NOVEL and can do what I darn well please. Please enjoy this wonderful collection of SEN10RS, congrats to you, graduates of 2010.
II. About Me, Josh Tubbs
For future reference, I am going to refer to myself as Josh Tubbs or simply Josh, because that is what people call me. I am a straight-A student and have never ever gotten a single detention or similar punishment in my life. I am proud of this and plan to continue it by not ever going to jail. I guess you could describe me as a combination of a nerd, popular (which I will talk about later), preppy, and just the smallest atom that you can never ever see of scene. I’m not totally aware of the correct definition of scene, but I will guess that I am like that amount that I have said. If I were to give myself a rating, which is exactly what I am doing, it would be the Josh Tubbs level, equivalent to infinity. I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me. I don’t swear, and I’ve never had sex, so if you’d like to call me religious, go for it, but I don’t call myself religious. I try to take the tough classes, and I am determined to get all A’s in all of them. I also scored a FOUR on the Advanced Placement United States History exam last year, so I like to say that a lot. I am taking Advance Placement World History right now, but that is basically for fun, so please shower me with your compliments. I am also a boy. I thought I should put that in there in case there was any confusion that needed clarification. I plan on going to college for Elementary Education and Math, and would like to teach Elementary school when I get my Master’s in Education, that way I can make more money. I believe that it is important to keep track of one’s childhood, and would love the fact that I could just play and teach with a bunch of kids and it would be a great time had by all. It would be a lot of work, but it would be worth it. I am DONE with all of my college applications and I am now working on scholarships, so hopefully I will get lots and lots of money and go to college for free. The ultimate goal, but will I get it? I like Spongebob and I am addicted to Facebook. I own a vending machine where I get some money but not a lot because it is only a quarter for a rather large handful of candy, so I am a nice person to the peple that buy things, but I would like to make more money off of it. I babysit a lot and love the fact that I have middle school neighbors (who I often babysit) that like to play outside and have lots of fun. When I babysit, it feels like I am just over a friend’s house getting paid for it. I am currently babysitting afterschool every day and I love it so much. In order to get the point across, I feel the need to show you my college application essay. Here it is!
It is the Tuesday before Christmas. It is 7:59pm. And it is probably the best time of the year. My family gathers around the television and turns to ABC—channel five. This is the only Christmas tradition that has never changed. I sit in the chair that’s closest to the TV. The chair has changed, but my spot is the same. I wait anxiously, fighting back the sudden pressure I feel in my bladder for fear that I might miss a single second that I will not see again for another year. And then, finally! I hear that beautiful song that has reminded me of tradition, fun, and Christmas excitement—the theme song to “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”
I would call myself a definite believer in traditions, but the only thing that could possibly trump tradition is the one thing that all of us have, but many have forgotten: an inner child. When someone yells at another person in anger, “you’re such a child!” many people often associate that with immaturity. However, I always think of that as a good thing—being a child. I picture a child having fun, swinging on a swing set and enjoying life. I just know in my mind and my heart that to live a full life is to live with a child in the soul and a kid in the heart.
Now, when someone thinks of AP US History, what comes to mind? Maybe a big binder, lots of dividers, and long hours of hard work? Well, I experienced all of that, but with something extra to enjoy my commitment a bit more: stickers. And why not? I am working diligently not only in APUSH, but also in my other pursuits in life, so I deserve to make these things more enjoyable. “Stickering,” as my best friend and I like to call our hobby, helps me remember what it was like to be able to get away from the responsibilities and overwhelming aspects of the world and escape to my own world where I can enjoy life fully.
My sister’s reaction to this is, “grow up!” My response? “Why don’t you grow down?” Everyone deserves the chance to enjoy life, and remember what it was like to have that sparkle in their soul. There is always a possibility to balance work and play, diligence and enjoyment, adult and child.
Every time I watch Charlie Brown and his friends I remember my life as a child as I reminisce through the years of seeing Linus convincing Sally of the Great Pumpkin, and of course Charlie Brown’s fruitless attempts to send that pig skin flying. I am glad I have stayed connected with my childhood through “Peanuts” because I think that everyone should keep in touch with their inner child. Just through Charles Schulz’s cartoon, I have learned that it’s necessary for everyone to remember their childish imagination and to always know that being a kid is not always a sign of immaturity, but a sign of creativity, exuberance, and lifelong smiles.
As Snoopy once said to his best friend Woodstock, “keep looking up…that’s the secret of life….” I think that wasn’t just Snoopy giving advice to his friend, but instead Charles Schulz telling us one of his valuable insights on life. One day Charlie Brown will send that football flying. One day Snoopy will defeat the Red Baron. One day I will feel that sense of accomplishment by living out my goal to dream like a child, laugh like a kid, and live like the happiest person alive.
I also like Charlie Brown. I think this paper sums me up pretty nicely too. Another thing that I do is raise money for Autism. My absolute best friend in the world, Mandy Knight (who will be called Mandy from here on out), collect money for it. We made up an organization called Find the Pieces and we have raised over $2000 dollars over three years. We are really proud of that and wish to continue it this year with a lot more money because it will be our senior year and we would like to go out with a bang. I wrote this for a scholarship describing what we did, this is the essay that I wrote.
1. My friend, Mandy, and I Co-founded Find the Pieces, an organization that raises money and awareness for Autism. We have raised over $1500 since we began three years ago and have donated all of it to Autism SpeaksTM.
2. In March of freshman year, my friend, Mandy decided to raise money for a cure for Autism, and to raise awareness of the condition. We knew we couldn’t do much, but we knew it was the right thing to do, seeing that Mandy’s brother has Autism. Knowing our task, we began collecting money in April, which is Autism Awareness month. We rose about two hundred dollars—a good start for our first year, but we knew that sophomore year would have to show more results.
When the second April of high school, it was our second chance. I decided that if I wanted to get some results I had to get out there. To accomplish more, I made some boxes that I would carry around to my classes and around lunch asking the other students for donations. I asked every day and persevered to collect as many donations as I could. Every day in April I could be seen carrying around that box getting heavier by the day. At the end of the month Mandy and I counted the donations and we had raised over six hundred dollars! All of that work that I put in had literally paid off. I felt so proud of what we had done and the kind of contribution that we could make.
Last year was probably our best year yet. I was ready to do the same as sophomore year. I made it a really fun and awesome experience, despite all of the trouble that I would get from the people that just wouldn’t budge. I knew that I couldn’t win them all, and moved on to my strengths. I made two boxes, because the first one became too heavy and full! I also put boxes in my classrooms and really inspired the competition with the other classes, because people really wanted to win those cookies. It seemed like every other day I had been around the tables collecting and asking for donations. Just by my contribution alone, I was able to raise over $220. I had no idea that I could do that much!
This year for Find the Pieces, Mandy I plan on doing all the same things as last year, but with senior year we have to go out with a bang. We are going past our school community with our organization’s new strength and reaching out to the town. We are going to have bake sales outside of stores to get donations. The more people that we can talk to, the more aware that people become about Autism. Wish us luck!
3. In order to accomplish such a feat, Mandy and I kept upping our game each year. Last year, we planned a bake sale in our cafeteria, as we will also be doing this coming April at local supermarkets. It was also necessary to make collection boxes for the classroom, so we had to go around to our teachers and ask if we could put boxes in their room.
This effort was really composed of both of our leadership roles and our influence throughout the school. I did try to influence a lot of people into giving a donation. I also delegated some responsibilities when people wanted to ask. However, it was really a combined effort. Mandy and I consider ourselves as one unit, so it was impossible for one of us to take the lead. We would discuss which step we would take next and make decisions as a pair.
4. When we were trying to collect money, there were definitely challenges that appeared. First was that roadblock of trying to get over the shyness of asking people I didn’t know for money. Eventually, I just decided to do it. My short time of shyness should not get in the way of children having to do with this condition. Eventually, I got over that fear and even began to peer pressure people to donate! Mandy and I just had to get past those people that there was no hope for, fortunately there were very few. After those first few days of shyness, we got the ball rolling and heading up to full speed.
5. As I was sitting in my room counting the money, I became increasingly joyful at the amount that just I had raised. I was elated at the fact that all of this money was able to go to deserving children that can hopefully. This whole organization makes me think that I can do amazing things with determination and friends to help along the way. As far as the school community, it seems that Mandy and I have set precedence. People remember the other years that we have done it, and Mandy’s younger sister is going to carry on the tradition when we leave. We have made an impression not only on ourselves, but also on the entire school as they wait each year for when April comes along.
I also wrote an essay about this thing in Washington DC that would be a scholarship for a lot of money, but I forget. Anyway, I thought I should show it to represent my position about the country at this current moment in time that is the present second of right now which is also after the passed past and the not yet occurred future, so here it is right now.
We in America find the need to be different. We refuse to use the Metric System, we drive on the right side of the road, and we insist on referring to other countries’ direction in relation to an Amero-centric map ideology. However, we have always been taught that being different is a good thing, a great thing in fact. How are we supposed to stand out and make our mark in the universe’s history if we do something that another person does? That would be horrendous. But when is being different a bad thing? Ask everybody and about ninety-nine percent of the population will reply, “Never!” Well, I would like to introduce myself as Mr. One-Percent. Sometimes being different is a bad thing. Sometimes it could throw a whole country off balance and out of power and influence for months. Such is the case with these United States of America in its Presidential Election process. It is such a drawn-out process that the incumbent President loses his influence, while the candidates or the President-Elect simply has no presidential power. This must be changed to a shorter process, because the country could see a more effective use of presidential power around the time of election process, Election Day and Inauguration day.
The first major problem comes about a year-and-a-half before the second Tuesday of November. This is when the campaigning begins, even earlier for some candidates. Each one has their own unique platform and their own problem with the current President. Then there is the President who thinks he is doing everything hunky-dory, and that it only takes time for his one-year plan to go into action. When the campaigning begins, the President and the candidates that are trying to take his job all add another thing that they must do and make their schedules that much busier. This takes away from what they could be doing had the selection process been shorter. They are unable to do what they were elected to do and the entire country must suffer.
Another problem that arises during election time is the situation where the candidates and the President make rulings and decisions that make him or her look better to the people that will give them money. Instead of doing the right thing for the country, they do the thing that is most beneficial to their budget. This corruption belies the integrity that the position the candidates are trying to fill.
The second large issue that comes with the large time is the lame-duck syndrome after a new President-Elect is waiting for their turn to run the country. The President has little influence and the President-Elect has no power. From November to January, this country is left in a state of a deer in the world’s headlights as we are forced to sit back and watch. Such a long time-span forces the United States out of its power and renders it incapable of doing much influential work. In order to allow the country to have its influence it usually has, we must mend the current election process and nearly eradicate President-Elect from our vocabulary by drastically shortening the lame-duck period.
Here is another thing that I wrote for another scholarship called “Being and American” which asked me to write about the most important civic value in American life.
It is the aspect of our lives that we struggle to find during both adolescence and middle age. It is the time in each person’s existence that makes them step back and really look at who they are and reevaluate their priorities. It is the quality that makes each American uniquely individual, yet uniquely American. It is the value that puts other values in their places and makes them personal to the individual. Without this key to ourselves, there would simply be no us, no special qualities, no chance for personal growth and expression. Throughout American History, people have either been pigeonholed by this or have been able to use this to their advantage. In either case, it is our most important value as a single human and a whole country. That one thing that is like the foundation to being truly American, or own personal Constitution, is our identity of self.
Without an identity of who we are and where we have come from, we are lost. We are, in fact, simply a compilation of our past and our heritage. We are what others have been. That is what makes each one of us such an individual. We all have our own lineage and ancestry; our own set of people to look back on and our own path to how each one of us came to exist. Being American is all about being a foreigner finding commonalities among others. After all, we are in the largest of melting pots. Even our country is based on what other countries have done in the past. Our own individual identity and un-American qualities are what makes us collectively American.
People have had their own identity question not just by themselves but also challenged by others. In American history, our founders were able to recognize who they were and what they wanted in order to receive the right freedom they needed. After winning independence from the mother country England, America set out to form its own identity and its own ideologies, bringing to birth the United States Constitution.
The importance of identity is seen in just the first words of the document: “We, the people of the United States of America.” In those simple words our Founding Fathers have set the stage for the threshold the country crossed when finding its identity. We have moved away as just a colony of another country to our own self-sufficient entity. The Constitution completely exemplifies the necessity for an identity because, like a teenager coming into their own self, the United States of America was making its way into full independence by creating its own identity and its own path for the future. Without that, we would be just another colony of England and never evolved as our own country.
No one embraces this idea more than James Monroe, creator of the Monroe Doctrine. Some scholars believe this to be the second Declaration of Independence, because it official separated America from European affairs, and thus England. He totally recognized the country’s identity and being the President at that time felt like he himself was gaining his own identity. Feeling this strong connection with his country, he not only embraced his identity, but he exuded the value of confidence in one’s identity to help his nation.
In the time of the United States of America, a strong foundation in one’s identity has helped Americans face the toughest times and remember who they truly were. It was the identity of American and foreign qualities that added the real taste into this melting pot that we live in.
I am also in the class that is called Advance Placement English. We do a lot of writing and this is a sample of my original work that I just finished on November 8th, 2009.
One Hundred Years of Solitude and the Color Yellow
Color is often used in many novels to emphasize an emotion or to convey a certain feeling in a passage or whole book. Each color has its own connotation with a feeling or perception of something and can affect how someone thinks about that colored object. In Gabriel García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude there is a prominent use of the color yellow. It is especially seen in association with José Arcadio Buendía, the yellow train, the banana company, and Mauricio Babilonia. José Arcadio Buendía is searching for the multiplication of his gold, but all he accomplishes is further solitude. The yellow train that arrives is a harbinger of technological dehumanization. The banana company, with its yellow bananas, is a representation of the destruction of traditional village living and creation of hostile business politics. Mauricio Babilonia, Renata Remedios’ partner, and his yellow butterflies are symbols of the loneliness that comes from love and its sorrowful qualities. Márquez uses the color yellow in a contradictory way that makes the characters believe they are on a happy path, when they are really heading towards greater sadness and solitude.
The color yellow often has positive associations. It represents the sun, happiness, and a bubbly personality. It is also a symbol for optimism, wealth, and intelligence. With these cheerful connotations, Márquez’s use in One Hundred Years of Solitude of yellow seems contradictory. When something bears yellow, it is usually a foreshadowing of unpleasant times ahead, which is usually not what the characters expect. However, it is also used as a cautionary color, but the characters do not head this caution and often follow their bliss blindly, resulting in their sorrow. The color yellow ends up being a color that connotates the unknowing destruction and solitude of the characters and Macondo.
José Arcadio Buendía is the beginning of the Buendía line with Úrsula as his wife. However, he is often seen as the town’s crazy inventor with strange and outlandish ideas that he gets from the gypsies. Even his wife says to him “‘if you’re going to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself!’” (Márquez 5). He occupies his time with trying to multiply his wife’s gold coins through the use of a formula that his gypsy friend, Melquíades, gave to him. Even though “Úrsula gave in, as always, to her husband’s unyielding obstinacy” (Márquez 6), José Arcadio Buendía ended up with a “pestilential syrup which was more like common caramel than valuable gold” (Márquez 7). This is an example of the Buendías searches for happiness and success and the ultimate reward of isolation and loneliness. At first, the gold, a form of yellow and a symbol of wealth, leads José Arcadio Buendía to believe that he will receive great riches and amazing happiness. However, Márquez is using it as a cautionary symbol to warn Buendía of impending doom hiding behind a garb of success. Buendía thinks that he can multiply his wealth and happiness, but he just ends up multiplying his solitude and sorrow.
After his failure in alchemy, José Arcadio Buendía falls deeper into this solitude until he finally dies and “a light rain of tiny yellow flowers…[falls] on the town all through the night…and they [cover] the roofs and [block] the doors” (Márquez 153). Up to this time Buendía was living tie up under a chestnut tree in his ultimate form of isolation. He uses the storm of yellow flowers as a caution for new things to happen. He uses a combination of yellow as a warning and flowers that symbolize new beginnings to tell the people of Macondo that everything needs to change or the town will end up as José Arcadio Buendía did. The people think that now that the town crazy person is gone, everything should get better, but it only spirals downward into more loneliness.
While José Arcadio Buendía has left, something worse for Macondo takes his place. Aureliano Triste, one of Aureliano Buendía’s sons, leaves Macondo for a long time to build a train track and bring the town into the technological world. After many months, the town is frightened when they hear “a whistle with a fearful echo and a loud, panting respiration” (Márquez 239). With the introduction of technology, the people are only sent into a time of dehumanization and an industry-driven life as the “innocent yellow train that was to bring…so many pleasant and unpleasant moments…to Macondo” (Márquez 239). Márquez uses yellow as death in this part of the book. He is using the train as a transition from the lively traditions of Macondo to the cold heartlessness of machinery approaching the Macondans. Contradictory to this, the people are excited about the new things that the train brings to their town, even though this train just leads to the destruction of the town. With the arrival of the train comes the beginning of the banana company that takes Macondo into a period of cold-hearted business and harsh politics.
Another character that foreshadows the doom of the Buendías is Renata Remedios’ lover, Mauricio Babilonia. Every time that she sees him “she realize[s] that the yellow butterflies preceded the appearances of Mauricio Babilonia” (Márquez 308). However, Fernanda, Aureliano Segundo’s wife, notes that “you can see in his face that her’s going to die” (Márquez 309). Because of the author’s use of the color of death, these yellow butterflies bring about the death of Babilonia. Note only are the butterflies harbingers of Mauricio Babilonia’s death, but they and Babilonia foreshadow the final end of the Buendía line.
Their son, Aureliano, eventually has a child with the woman that he did not know was his aunt, whom they name Aureliano after the first Aureliano so he could “’ win thirty-two wars” (Márquez 442). Unfortunately, what Úrsula was afraid of with her children with José Arcadio Buendía finally comes true, “it was the tail of a pig” (Márquez 443). It was at this point that the Buendía line comes to a rapid stop as everything unwinds and breaks down. By the end of the book, ants, the ultimate form of destruction, are devouring the last Aureliano and end the Buendías once and for all. The yellow butterflies bring about the future deaths of the Buendías and mark the beginning of the end.
The recurring use of the color yellow throughout One Hundred Years of Solitude emphasizes the downward progression of the Buendías. Through their innovations, high expectations and love they think that there are great things ahead with these bright, yellow signs. However, it is the contrary. Márquez uses yellow to show caution of worse things to come and of the eminent destruction of the Buendías and Macondo. The Buendías do not take the advice of the yellow oracles and see that their fate takes a turn for the worse despite their high expectations.
I also wrote a poem that a lot of people think is funny and won me Mr. Timberlane. Mr. Timberlane is a lot like Ms. America, but it makes fun of it. We danced to “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, then we had a talen competition, when I did this poem, then we had sexiest legs for the guys and best belch for the girls. I have really hairy legs, as many people know, and I wore a garter, which was really funny. I also danced in Mandy’s talent and pointed to her when the song said “Mandy.” But I accidentally slipped and cut my knee because of the soccer socks that I was wearing. It was really fun and when I won I planned that I was going to act like a really girly Ms. America winner, which I did do. I won a beta fish, whom I named Victory, a really good parking spot for the entire year, and free Prom tickets. That’s a lot of money that I will not have to spend.
Here is the essay that I wrote for my introduction for Mr. Timberlane.
Hailing from the bustling town of Sandown, New Hampshire, seventeen-year-old Josh Tubbs is a senior here at Timberlane. Not only is he Co-President of the seniors and an officer in a bunch of kool stuff, but he also owns all fifty state quarters and over 1000 Pokémon cards, including a holographic Charizard. Josh answers, “no comment” on whether he is power hungry. He claims that his large involvement is all to stay off the streets and out of the gangs. He also obeys the speed limit and covers his textbooks sensibly, of course, with Glad Press n’ Seal Wrap.
Josh is an A student, but mostly because he thinks that B’s have too many curves. Some achievements include getting a FOUR on the AP US History exam, never ever killing a single person, as well as successfully standing on one toe ON TIPPY-TOES. Josh plans on going to college for Child Psychology and Elementary Education, and hopes on becoming a second-grade teacher. He plans on fixing all the children in his image and has a 38-year plan on finding the perfect haircut.
He likes hot chocolate over coffee, energetic attitudes, and stickering binders with Mandy Knight. His dislikes include gangstahs, unhealthy habits, people who don’t use their blinkers, and 90’s soft rock.
Josh thinks he should be crowned Mr. Timberlane because his hard work, determination, and fashion sense can be a model for the littler ones making their way through the piercings and PDA of high school. Most importantly, Josh believes that he has achieved the ultimate goal of good grades, a great attitude, and amazing legs.
Anyways, here is the poem, it’s called , “Load Paper The Press Select.”
then press select
I know that sound.
I would know that sound anywhere;
Anywhere there was a printer…
…and NO paper.
For that is the sound
Of a Dell AIO Printer 960
With NO paper.
I know exactly what it is doing.
It is straining and working to find
Just one piece of paper.
It knows there is one right there…
But we all know there isn’t.
There’s just an empty black piece of plastic
Where a neat stack of clean white paper
Would wait impatiently to soon have words
Put all over their bellies.
This was all a plan.
A dirty..nasty…wretchedly horrible plan
Against one innocent printer.
Who would do such a thing
To this semi-reliable printer
And make it suffer like this?
Because, you see,
There was a cover page
To this 18 page
(really 9 pieces of paper double sided)
Book review for AP United States History
And if I had printed it normally,
The words in the General Summary
Would show through the paper
And the beautifully professional-looking
Cover page would be SOILED.
So what do I do??
I put only ONE piece of paper in the printer,
And I print it,
While the innocent AIO Printer 960 thinks
It is printing the WHOLE THING.
The WHOLE 18-page
(9 pieces of paper double-sided)
Yes, I knew this would happen.
By instinct I still look down at the little
Green screen no bigger than 3 dimes
And you know what it says??
You know what this printer
Is trying to say to me??
Do you know what it is SCREAMING
At me through the thin layer of clear plastic?
SCREAMING RIGHT AT ME?!?!?!?!
Load paper then press select.
Isn’t that funny? I wrote it after a Coffeehouse and heard the printer make that sound, so I was inspired to write that poem. I also wrote some other poems in this lovely month of November because I was inspired to write them because we are doing a project in advanced placement English called “Live Poets Society” in which we talk about good poets that are alive and write about them, recite poetry and make our own poetry. Here are a bunch of poems that I have written since I heard about it around the second week of November. I like to say that my style of poetry is to mock other forms of poetry and make the poets and people that think that think they are really smart come down a couple of notches. I like to remind people that poetry is not all about people being sad and deep, but expressing their feelings and thoughts, which can actually be happy some times.
Do you remember
you learned to ride a bike?
Or what about
the hour you waited to
wake your parents on Christmas?
The second you realized
that you were the luckiest kid
in the world
because Santa liked you best.
Oh! And remember
The year that you started
elementary school and moved up
to the bigger swings and longer monkey bars?
Of course you recall
The minute you learned how to
pump on those big swings and
you would never stop until
your legs fell off?
But how could your legs fall off
if you’re having so much fun?
Do you remember
you wanted to grow up?
I like those days
when all you hear
are your footsteps,
sometimes your breathing,
even your own existence;
and it seems like
the entire world
can hear all that too;
but it also feels like
the entire world
has vanished and you are
the only one that ever lived.
I am both one solid being
and part of the mixture
of the whole planet.
This usually occurs
when the temperature drops;
and more so when
the snow falls;
when people are forced
to reexamine their values
and look outside
at what they think is
only trying to stop progress.
All I want to do
is sink into the snow
and become one with
the soft, fluffy silence,
that one thing
that makes everyone stop
and ceases all movement
and drowns out all noise.
It’s when the clouds are gray
and the earth is white
when I feel most at one
as I am reminded
that Mother Nature always wins.
So I lay down
in what She has given to me
and I remember that silence
is not golden,
“Your word is”
ABSORB AND THINK.
Ok, think the word is forming in my mind
And it is right there.
I am sounding it out five times a second
As I am constantly thinking about the next right letter
Because I only have one chance
To spell one word
I can say the same letters fifty times
But I can’t say different letters in their places
Now is the time for my vindication
Of my success in fifth grade
And my single mistake in fourth grade.
All I want is that trophy with the kool
Little bee on it.
Even if I lose right now I will get a kool trophy
Yes, I, me, Josh, have made it far enough
But man, do I still want to win
Wouldn’t it be so great?
I could go on to the next stage
And maybe even win the big Scripps deal.
I can beat all of the Indian girls with fathers
Who test them on twenty words before they can go to school
And all of the strange boys with glasses and mustaches
Who can spell every single word, except “girl”
I can be that one kid that actually has
Some kind of life beyond Webster’s
And his over fifty-thousand entries
The correct spelling is P-E-J-O-R-A-T-I-V-E.
Big Words and Little Lines
Poetry is a funny thing.
As you find your eyes falling down the page
Like a 4th grader on a really big slide
You find yourself coming across
Meaning, symbolism, imagery, allegories, allusions,
Capitalized and uncapitalized letters,
Strange punctuation marks,
A sentence fluency that has never even entered your mind,
And the biggest words you would ever imagine,
Even in dreams of big words.
Words that you have never seen in a dictionary
Or intended to look up on Dictionary.com, Google or Yahoo Answers;
Or ask Jeeves about.
Words that would never find their way to your vocabulary
Even if your vocabulary was in the middle of a clear meadow
Screaming “come over here! I must use you!”
and using really kool looking flares.
Words that people try to show off
But never know the meaning of.
Words that seem to get bigger as you read through each syllable.
They are going to bust through the little lines
That have no chance of holding in those syllabic beasts.
The chunk of word that is in your mouth is like a Gobbstopper
That does not shrink as you suck on it, but grow.
Your vocal chords are powerless against the
Dreaded big words that your brain will inevitably try to sound out.
You will probably never look up these words,
And there is no need to. We do just fine without them.
Cave people got along quite well with “ungh” and “oong,”
So we can probably survive with “pen”
Instead of “permanent writing utensil.”
We will be those people that show off their small words
And compete in who can say the smallest words
So people can actually understand what we’re saying.
Because if people can’t understand you,
Then are you really that smart?
I think another thing that I should add is that I am in a lot of after and before school activites. I will tell you about each of them and what I do in each of them. I am President of the Class with another of my best friends, Julie Guzman. We are Presidents of the Executive Committee of the Class of 2010, which puts as the Presidents of the Class, and we can make a speech at graduation. We raised about $25,000 over the years and we plan Prom and the Senior Trip and stuff like that. Now that we are seniors, we get to spend that money and get to do a lot of kool stuff with it. (*****Kool is good, Cool is not, it is sarcastic and denotes the people that would be stereotypically be considered popular, many of whom I hate). I am the President of the French Honor Society. The society doesn’t do much, but I decided that I am not going to be the president of a joke society, and thus have already doubled the society’s account and plan on continuing that awesomeness. I also got Language Night, a night when all the language students get to show off their language talents to the world that does not know what they are saying, but it is fun. The only good officer is my Vice President, the other ones don’t do their jobs well, in my opinion. I am Vice President and Public Relations leader of the Math Honor Society. That is a true joke and I do not take my position seriously. It is highly unorganized and it seems that the advisor is putting a lot of her blame on the officers. There is little communication and it is eighty percent just to put on my college application. We organize Pi Day on March 14 (3.14) and I am the chief organizer because I am the PR leader. I am the Secretary of Historical Honor Society. That one is really fun because I get to give people demerits. It is the hardest honor society to get into and stay in, and I am the one that gets to uphold that. I have put about five people on probation, and I hope they get kicked off because I get to say that they did that and I kicked them off. I am Coffeehouse Coordinator for English Honor Society. Coffeehouses are in the cafeteria and people can read poetry, do comedy, sing, stuff like that in front about 75 people and get rid of their stage fright. I organize these and make sure that they go well. The first one didn’t because we only made fifty dollars, but I think they will get better. I also get to host them, which is one of the reasons why I did it. I am in Model UN. I won best delegate when I was France in UNICEF, that was really kool because other people didn’t win, and those people thought that I should have one anyways. I am also in Debate Club, but that hasn’t done much since last yea, so I’ll have to wait for some exciting debates. This is a Senior biography that I wrote about myself. I have now survived 12 years of Timberlane. Thank you teachers who helped me know things. Thanks to my parents for showing me I can do anything. Sarah, you made me work harder to be better. Nicole, you've shown me happiness is most important. BZ: You've given me life lessons. ML: <pi. JG/AC: Stay crazy and smart. Mandy: Peace-Pieces-Pisces; always sticker. As one sponge said, "I'm ready." Stay Kool.
I also sticker binders for my Advanced Placement classes with Mandy and really like to gossip with her. That is basically all we do when we hang out, gossip and sticker. That seems to be the end of my stuff, so I will have to continue on with the categories of people.
III. Categories of People (in no particular order)
1. Josh Tubbs/Mandy Knight: equivalent to infinity on the 0 – 10 scale
3. Emo/Goth/Punk/Scene (there is no difference, really)
6. Annoying kids
7. Dark, promiscuous five year olds
9. Timberlane Players
10. Fake girls
14. Quiet kids
15. Special education
16. Advanced Placement/ Accelerated
17. Gray kids
18. Performing Arts Center (PAC) Kids
23. Extremely Over-Involved and Over-Worked
24. Just living life
26. Trying their hardest to be stupid
1. Molly Adams: Bwitch. 5. Kool. It is kind of hard to put her in to this category because she isn’t totally a bwitch, but she is pretty close enough that I am allowing myself to put her in this category. She was in my lunch, and she would make jokes that you would hear adults trying to make small talk make. I would say that she is my friend, although I don’t really talk to her often.
2. Derrick Allen: Tool. 1. Cool. He is kind of scene as well, but still a pretty big tool in my opinion. He is in the dumb person classes, and he is actually in a freshman class right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in other classes of that nature. If I were to guess what he wants to be when he grows up, it would be a race car driver something that is really fast. I also bet he has done a lot of drugs, but would be nice to old people if he didn’t know them.
3. Abby Alper: Fake girl. 3. Cool. She is really really orange. I think she goes to the tanning salon once a week, but also adds extra stuff on her body a lot of times a day. She does not look natural at all. She is probably the best example for a fake girl in all of Timberlane. I think she would be mean to me too, she seems to have a lot of hated associated with her, and she probably does a lot of gossip like Mandy and I do, but against her own friends and causes all of the stupid drama. I wonder if she has a life size Barbie doll in her room with a sign denoting that that is her ultimate goal of fakeness. I don’t even think she does pageants or anything, where her fakeness would be absolutely perfect. I remember in 8th grade she was in my gym class and she was the first one on the other side of the gym while I was on the opposite side because my alphabetically later last name.
4. Lucas Alper: Tool. 2. Cool. He is a big jock that does not seem to have much going for him. He slaps around his buddies like all the rest of the jocks and makes jokes about how gay they all are and that they all want to have sex and blah blah blah kind of stuff. He is big and muscular, so he fits the stereotype quite nicely, and, get ready for it, he plays football too. This guy is probably one of the best examples of a jock and a tool. All he is concerned with is the latest football play, the hottest girl, and being the toughest guy. He was in my gym class in 8th grade as well, he was next to Abby Alper and was the apple of the gym teacher’s eye. He is a great example of a tool. He is only working out every day of his life and drinks and does illegal things like that to make himself seem really cool, but then he compromises his school work and grades and does terribly in school. He does not care at all with school and could not care less about how he does in school and what he is going to do in the future because he only wants to be muscular and tough, which will be lost when he is in his 60s and will deal with a sorry life and very little success.
5. Caitlin Altobelli: Trying to be stupid. 6. Cool. This one is a little tough to put stupid on her. I thought she was really trying hard to be stupid and had little respect for knowledge. But then she signed up for AP World History and AP English. I was so excited to see what she was going to say and all of the stupid things that were going to come out of her mouth. However, she kind of surprised me, she is a rather nice person sometimes, but I guess she wouldn’t really care to be nice to me and Mandy, but I don’t really know. She has said some things that are not stupid, so that is great for her, and I guess that I have heard that she is taking AP English to challenge herself, which is great. She dropped out of AP World though, which is probably what I should have done because I already got a FOUR on Advanced Placement United States History, so I don’t need another history class.
6. Felicia Amaral: Sporty. 4. Cool. I went out with her in sixth grade, but then she broke up with me at the end of the year. I had no idea what to do when in a relationship, so I was very apathetic towards her. She would write all of these love notes to me saying that she loved me no matter what. I was not totally sure what the “what” was but, but I don’t think it included the summer after sixth grade because she said that she wanted to take a break, but I knew that it was the end, so I enjoyed my summer a free man! Actually, our only date was going to the movies on a class field trip to watch Harry Potter. I had so many love notes from her it was crazy. She was also on my soccer team for a while because he dad coached, so it was kind of awkward, but I think I got over it pretty quickly. She is pretty quiet, but seems like the kind of girl that likes to be made fun of kind of flirting.
7. Kelsie Anderson: Trying to be stupid/ bwitch. 4. Cool. She really does like to be stupid. I think it’s her way of getting attention. She is also the kind of girl that likes to be picked on kind of flirted and talked to. She is friends with this gay kid and they talk very similar, like, “aoohh ma gawwdddd” kind of stuff. In eighth grade Becky Green and I were friends with her and we had some sort of inside joke about coffee, I think we said it like “coFAY” kind of thing. We were supposed to hang out that summer, but we never did, as has happened many times before when people say they MUST do something but never actually do it. I think she is also very defensive about her friends and likes to cause drama as well, so that is why I put bwitch on her. I would also choose not hang out with her because I would have no intellectual stimulation from her.
8. Tim Anderson: Tool/ Sporty. 6. Cool. He’s okay. I think I’m warming up to him and I think he thinks that I am the best thing ever. I was at a birthday party of one of my friends and he laughed at all the things I wanted to be funny, so I took that as he didn’t hate me and was okay in my presence. Right now he is in my Teaching class and I think he aspires to be a gym teacher. I guess it goes that when you don’t know much you become a gym teacher, which seems to be the case with many of the gym teachers that exist today. However, while he may be cool, I still think he will be able to work his way up to kool shortly after this novel is finished. I just have to keep saying funny things and keep saying bad things about Amber.
9. Kim Andrade: Annoying. 6. Kool. She is a really excited person. I would be okay with hanging out with her. She was in Ms. Timberlane, but she lost because Julie won. I think her talent was pouring water and then doing a dance to a modern song with classic moves. She is kind of annoying in her excitement and her voice is kind of annoying, but still she is kind of kool because I don’t hate her. I don’t think she hates me either. I would like to know what kinds of things she does after school, and I bet her future plans are working with people, because that seems like the kind of person she would be.
10. Holly Ange: Annoying/ Timberlane Player/ PAC. 5. Kool. She is very very emotionally clingy. It gets really annoying because she is in absolute love with her disgusting boyfriend who I do not think loves her back. But she talks about him all the time and how she misses him so much and it gets really annoying because that day will come when he breaks up with her and she will not come to school because she is so emotionally distraught. She has a really fun time showing her heart on her sleeve and making sure that everyone knows it. She automatically assumes that somebody hates her with only a little signal of disappointment. It’s also annoying that she pretends to be like a mother to everyone and like a teacher. She talks down to people and thinks she knows everything in my French class, but can not get over the fact that the stupid people are stupid. She gets OBSESSESED with teachers. For example, my now Advanced Placement World History teacher was one of her obsessions and she always goes to see him and talk to him about her problems, but I don’t think he enjoys her existence and I am pretty sure that he is annoyed with her problems because her emotions never seem to go away. She also hates French Honor Society and has no ambition to do things right and expects people to love her even if she does something wrong. When I am alone with her it is okay because I will have conversations with her that are pretty good, but that is really it. She is also my smart counterpart in French class which is kind of nice because we are both very ahead of the class and I am thinking about taking AP French. However, in French class when the teacher is talking and other people are talking she always shushes them, but then she talks to her friends and expects our teacher to automatically forgive her. I don’t think anyone else has realized that this happens so I shush her too, but she has not heard me yet because I do not want to disrupt the class.
11. Philip Aoun: Tool. 2. Cool. In seventh grade there was this Medieval Banquet and I was the king for my team because of my amazing grades and down right awesomeness. He was the king because they picked his name out of a hat or some sort of random place where names would be picked out of. So I wrote a story about him losing a battle against my army, but nobody made that connection that it was him. He is one of those tools that want to be the coolest person alive and think that they need to make fun of their friends and stuff like that. He is a great example of a tool. He is only working out every day of his life and drinks and does illegal things like that to make himself seem really cool, but then he compromises his school work and grades and does terribly in school. He does not care at all with school and could not care less about how he does in school and what he is going to do in the future because he only wants to be muscular and tough, which will be lost when he is in his 60s and will deal with a sorry life and very little success.
12. Patrick Argenbright: Quiet. 0. UnCool. I made him really angry one time. He has anger issues. Woops. I thought it was funny. He was asking me about Spirit Week, which everyone in my class complains about because they don’t do anything and don’t want to do anything. So I thought he was complaining and told him what we do, which includes dealing with people like him that are complaining, but I guess he wasn’t really complaining and wanted to help. Then he called me a prick and other names that included swear words. I thought it was kind of funny, but I was also kind of scared because I thought he was going to beat me up or something, which he didn’t. The teacher sided with me and told me about his problems. I also heard that he does push ups in the bathroom, which is weird.
13. Kevin Baker: Tool/ Sports. 0. Cool. He is a football player, so just another great example of a tool who plays football. He sits at the “cool” kid table and throws food at people and leans back in his chair and is actually kind of preppy too. I think he is going out with Rachelle, or at least he should be because he hangs out with her a lot and has probably done some things with her and things to her, but we will not get into those details. I think he also places his belt strategically at a place lower than his waist because his pants always seem to be at a certain length, which is really weird to have planned out those kinds of things.
14. Drew Balanoff: Living Life. 7. Kool. He was in Mr. Timberlane. I BEAT HIM!! He tried to catch a bunch of marshmallows in his mouth, but he only caught about half of them and did not do a very good job. They wanted to cut him off because he was taking so long and catching so few marshmallows. I still think he is a kool kid though. He wears a bandana and has really long and fuzzy hair. I actually don’t think that he likes to clean it either. I also think that he wants to get dreads and have as many bugs in his hair as Bob Marley did when he had them. I wish him luck in his journey though. However, I feel like he wouldn’t hold back in making fun of me with his friends, but would still be kool with me while he was in my presence.
15. Angela Balchunis: Bwitch. 3. Cool. I don’t really know her, but I’m sure she’s like that. I can picture her being somewhat gray as well, so that wouldn’t really surprise me. I can also see her with her super cool friends thinking about all the drugs that they would take and all the guys that they would do things with.
16. Erin Ball: Trying to be stupid/ Fake Girl. 7. Cool. Her hair is really straight and dry like she straightens it a lot, so I can’t wait to see what it will be like when she is thirty. She was in my art class two years ago and laughed at my funny things, so that is a good thing, but she is till pretty fake and does not really want to learn things. I think she takes the regular classes and even wants to act stupid in those. She is also one of those girls that likes to be made fun of when being flirted with.
17. Lafe Bannister: Quiet. 1. UnCool. I think he is going to kill himself one of these days. Everyone has made fun of him so much that I think he is in that “I don’t care about any of you, I hate you all” stage. He doesn’t seem to have shaved his beard in a while either, and wears really loose clothing and walks around like he is both better than everyone else but still hates us all.
18. Teghan Barril: Fake Girl/ Trying to be stupid/ Druggie. 2. Cool. She reminds me of that kind of girl that talks weird “like, ohhh my gahhhd” kind of thing. I’m pretty sure she does drugs too very often. She was actually on my soccer team a few years ago but didn’t do anything but just stand there and do nothing. So we never passed her the ball. That was a good soccer team. We went three seasons undefeated and had a lot fun. Maybe except her though.
19. Jess Barrett: Sporty. 8. Kool. She is really nice, but last year she would also bug me about precalc work that she couldn’t do, so I stopped helping her because it got annoying. It seems like she is doing better in AP Calc this year though, so good for her. She makes those really corny jokes that you would hear among adults trying to pass awkward situations and make small talk. She plays soccer, but I don’t know if she is good, I think she is because she is on varsity and she is the captain, so that would make sense.
20. Rob Beaulieu: Punk/ Dark, promiscuous five-year-old. 1. Cool. He does night school and I think he works during the day. It seems like he is wasting his life away. At the coffeehouses he would take up the whole show with his stupid songs and everyone would begin to hate him so much. I called it the “Rob Beaulieu” show because he did SO MANY THINGS. They were always stupid dark songs about how sad in love he is. He also does not have a good voice either, so it got really annoying to hear this combo of pre-Jo Bros and All American Rejects take the stage from everyone who had decent things to do.
21. Anthony Belair: Gay. 3. UnCool, maybe Kool. He walks around with Kelsie and makes all of his silly little jokes and talks like a girl because he thinks he is the best thing since canned bread and all of his gayness is just as awesome. In eighth grade he and I were the MCs of the 8th grade talent show. I would say really awesome comments that were original and exciting, and he would say the unoriginal comments like “that was great” kind of thing. It was really boring having to work with something like that.
22. Jacob Bellwood: Special Education. 2. UnCool. He runs around school, even though I do not think he has anywhere important to go, I think that at least three quarters of his schedule is Learning Center. He is always really anxious to get to the next step really fast and really right now. He always tries to push people out of the way and get there so many minutes ahead of time.
23. Zackary Belzile: Tool. 0. Cool. He has a birth spot on his head that is a blond spot on his black hair. He also sat in the back of the bus and was kind of gangstah because he was just a jerk. I had always hoped that he would explode or a meteor would hit the back of the bus. He is a great example of a tool. He is only working out every day of his life and drinks and does illegal things like that to make himself seem really cool, but then he compromises his school work and grades and does terribly in school. He does not care at all with school and could not care less about how he does in school and what he is going to do in the future because he only wants to be muscular and tough, which will be lost when he is in his 60s and will deal with a sorry life and very little success.
24. Kyle Benson: Tool. 0. Cool. HE IS SO ANOYYING IN HIS TOOLNESS. He always came into French last year and was just obnoxious saying “HELLO” to everyone and the teacher. He was really loud and obnoxious and thought that he would be better at yelling than I was last year, so I had a yell off last year in French when he was in French class during the same period in the room next to us. I totally won because I am amazing. Everyone thinks he is amazing, but I think he is annoying, immature, and obnoxious. There were also like 20 people that wrote him in for president, even though he had all that time to apply for president himself but didn’t, then he gave the excuse of some sort that he didn’t know about it, which he should have. Anyways, Julie and I beat him horribly because we were the only ones on the ballot for president and nobody else ran for it. He is a great example of a tool. He is only working out every day of his life and drinks and does illegal things like that to make himself seem really cool, but then he compromises his school work and grades and does terribly in school. He does not care at all with school and could not care less about how he does in school and what he is going to do in the future because he only wants to be muscular and tough, which will be lost when he is in his 60s and will deal with a sorry life and very little success. He is a great example of a tool. He is only working out every day of his life and drinks and does illegal things like that to make himself seem really cool, but then he compromises his school work and grades and does terribly in school. He does not care at all with school and could not care less about how he does in school and what he is going to do in the future because he only wants to be muscular and tough, which will be lost when he is in his 60s and will deal with a sorry life and very little success.
25. Mercedez Bernatchez: Fake Girl/ Bwitch. 0. Cool. She is kind of butchy and questions other males’ manliness. I would not be surprised if se actually turns out to become a lesbian when she goes to college. She is loud and obnoxious, and almost kind of toolish as well. She also seems like a combination of dirty and fake, so I guess that would make her a bwitch, which she most always is. She is really annoying and is part of that group of “cool” kids that has a blast making un of as many other people as they can.
26. Catherine Bissonnette: Bwitch/ Gray. 6. Cool. She was in my CCD class too! She is very dirty and gray. She is just like all the other gray girls because they are all so easy to stereotype. They are all having smooth skin, their skin is very pale, as if they powder it a lot of times during the day. They also have smooth, straight, flat, greasy, disgusting, blond and dyed many times hair. They also wear sweatpants most of the time and short shirts that show off their mid drift. She is just like all of the other gray girls in that she wears the really tight and small shirt that deliberately shows off her belly button and the multiple piercings that inhabit her belly button. She then wears the really baggy sweat pants or pajama pants that like to show people that she is open for many advances and has little inhibitions. She has a totally smooth face that is blemish free and full of make up, if there is a blemish or a touch of acne, it is wiped over with the pure gray make up that makes her look really fake. She is always trying to start a fight with other gray girls and is ready to pull some hair and rip some earings when she gets the chance. GASP. They always hang out right outside the café and I am pretty sure I saw a drug transaction take place out there at least twice. They always threaten each other about getting into fights with each other and taunt the others, so the school admins have to come and break it up, but I really want to see them get in to a fight. O! I should show you my stream of concsiousness essay. Here it is.
Through the doors, warm, where do I go? Yep, right, sticky note….mhmm….mhmm.. okay, kool. Wait, look back up, what if you crashed, embarrassing. People, silly little mortals. O wait! Cool people on the port bow…oh ya, super cool kids with their friends hitting each other and saying that they’re really gay…they’re all lovers or something, their free time is none of my business. Holding hands, how long have they been going out? Looking, smiling, kissing… every thing is retarded, I hear…Why do they like each other? They are probably having sex, then going on to the next person that they really like a lot.
Alright, go, but not too fast, you’ll be early and look weird, you’ll be bored, you’ll be sitting there, talk to no one for like two minutes. Sigh, grey people territory, scum of the earth, nothing to live up to, they aren’t going anywhere. This teacher won’t d