You should sleep with at LEAST 25 guys before settling down, and Ill tell you e
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Date: January 14th, 2018 12:11 PM Author: Supple Boltzmann
https://babe.net/2017/12/26/you-should-sleep-with-at-least-25-guys-before-settling-down-and-ill-tell-you-exactly-why-26107
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2017 Tab Media
lust • Dec 26 2017
You should sleep with at LEAST 25 guys before settling down, and I’ll tell you exactly why
Ideally more, but y’know, whatever
by Amanda Ross
Throughout history, it's been the bravest of souls who had to fight, die, and become immortalized for their beliefs. Joan of Arc, Gandhi, Jesus. And now me — martyrs for a cause. The fact that I'm about to suffer through dozens of comments calling me a slut should prove to you exactly how serious I am about the thesis of this article:
You have to sleep with at least 25 men before you settle down.
And notice I say men. Gay girls, I trust you. You've known how to maximize the parts with you were born with since that first fateful experience with the shower nozzle in middle school — don't play dumb here, either. You know I know you know.
Anyone with any type of predilection for dick, be it a full-time interest or a part-time thing, should have a sample size of no less than 25 before putting a metaphorical ring around one like some sick, sexual carnival game and settling down for good.
You've got to try every type to make an accurate decision
You try on shoes before you buy them. You ask the girl at the frozen yogurt shop for like, 50 little sample cups before deciding on a flavor. You test drive cars before driving them off the lot. So why wouldn't you make an equally informed decision before committing to one guy/dick? Do you even realize how many types there are out there in the world?
Missy Elliot said it best when she sang, "Boys, boys, all types of boys, Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys." And she didn't even explore the subsets of dick found within each race and nationality either! For example, I was once under the complete delusion that small dicks were "the best." I even wrote a whole babe article about it. Then one day I got wrecked by a member akin to a Chipotle burrito and immediately changed my tune. 25 is a number vast enough to try it all.
How else are you going to figure out what you're into?
What if like, an uncut, left-curving dick is the one thing you need to orgasm but you'll never know it because the guy you've been dating since age 13 has a dick like a baby carrot? And then you'll get married and your hair will grey — as will your shriveled pubes — without ever understanding the pleasure of that initial put-in stroke from a huge dick. Is that really how you want to live your life?
There's a quote by someone famous that I read on the side of a Starbucks cup once and it said some shit like, "At the end of your life, you'll be more upset by the things you didn't do than the things you did." I'm sure he was talking about climbing a mountain or coming out to your family, but I choose to believe he was talking about sucking dick.
It's simple math, honestly
There are 8 billion people in the world, and more if we count our future robot overlords and the aliens spying on us from the stars. Even if every person on earth has like, 10 soulmates, do you really think you found yours in you high school algebra class? The vastness of the globe, and you think you met your soulmate at a fucking local Jamba Juice. Girl, no. Explore. Travel. My parents met in Germany, for god's sake. Increase your chances, expand your odds. Touch all the butts, palm all the ballsacks. Find your partner.
Image may contain: Paper, Flyer, Brochure, Poster, Collage
Sex is fun! Like, really fun!
Finally, we come to our most important point. Having indiscriminate sex is really, really fun. If you're on some kind of contraception and always use a condom, why shouldn't you Samantha Jones it and consensually bone everyone you've ever encountered? Every time I think I want my flavor of the month to cuff me, I lock eyes with some hot, filthy-looking bearded dude at a dive bar and I remember: there are far, far better dicks ahead than the ones we leave behind.
@itsamandaross
original video by
Lauren says she was raped at a high school party. He denied it.
b
Here’s what your very specific taste in porn says about you
Ya freakin’ sicko
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by Caroline Phinney
If we're sticking to our resolutions and 2018 really is a year of reflection, where better than the crusty corners of cleaning-lady-walks-in-on-her-client's-lover Pornhub to do some true soul searching?But for porn veterans who feel they've seen it all, watching someone pound a D in a V just isn't going to do it anymore. So whether…
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A girl’s guide to non-awkward face-sitting
It’s the femme facial
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by Ari Bines
After doing all the other weird shit in my sex life, I've decide to keep it simple and stick to the one sex act that does wonders to my orgasm: face-sitting.Most girls I know will just let their partner eat 'em up the old-fashioned way: spread eagle while they have at it downtown. But I…
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Period-trapping is the only way to find out if you’re in a relationship or not
Without just asking
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by Ari Bines
We've thirst-trapped, hurt-trapped, and acted like straight up hoes on our soon-to-expire Instagram stories, but there's a new kind of trapping that'll be more helpful in determining your relationship status, and it's called period-trapping. In many cases (all cases), they won't be the one to define what ya'll are doing together, fucking like rabbits and…
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35153050)
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Date: January 17th, 2018 11:49 AM Author: snowy spectacular base
almost no full body pics on her instagram is very telling
but the fact remains most xoxo'ers couldn't get a chubby cute girl if they tried
I am Groot
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35175487)
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Date: January 14th, 2018 12:31 PM Author: Supple Boltzmann
Jordahn Smith · Merchandise and Service Coordinator at Ulta Beauty
Omg I accomplished 25 the year I lost my virginity. I’m still in search and I lost count after 132 a few years back.
Like · Reply · 37 · 2w
Michelle Morgan · Georgia Northwestern Technical College
Like · Reply · 6 · 2w
Jordahn Smith · Merchandise and Service Coordinator at Ulta Beauty
Proudly 💕
Like · Reply · 25 · 2w
Jeannette Morrisey · Smithville High
Get it girl! I’m right there with ya 🙌🏻
Like · Reply · 3 · 2w
Casie Randolph · Galion, Ohio
Like · Reply · 2 · 2w
Bianca Jazzmine Ottley · Pharmacy technician at CVS Pharmacy
Like · Reply · 10 · 2w
Jacqueline Monica
😔
Like · Reply · 2w
Katie Pinto
Awesome ❤️❤️❤️
Like · Reply · 2w
Taylor McCracken · Kennel Technician at Cozy Inn Pet Resort & Spa - Stahlstown, PA
I dont even know 132 people id like to have sex with.
Get std tested regularly. Protect yourself
Like · Reply · 12 · 2w
Jordahn Smith · Merchandise and Service Coordinator at Ulta Beauty
I’m been having sex for over 10 years I think I know what I’m doing by now
Like · Reply · 5 · 2w
Alicia Louise Robinson · Sales Assistant at Topshop
Jordahn Smith To be honest, I think the size of your ear is advertising the size of your vagina hole as well. Tramp.
Like · Reply · 1 · 2w
Danielle Trussler · Granville TAFE
Like · Reply · 1 · 2w
Sierra Brantley · Humanities Teacher at Manara Academy
Y'all don't have to agree with her but you do have to be kind. Women have enough problems, we don't need to attack eachother to feel better about ourselves.
Like · Reply · 4 · 2w
Khadija Jardani · Works at Sitel Almelo
Sierra Brantley agree! We all make different life choices. Just because it's different doesn't make it better and you should never judge people on it.
Like · Reply · 2w
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35153189) |
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Date: January 15th, 2018 2:13 PM Author: doobsian organic girlfriend candlestick maker
Jordahn Smith · Merchandise and Service Coordinator at Ulta Beauty
Omg I accomplished 25 the year I lost my virginity. I’m still in search and I lost count after 132 a few years back.
Yeah? 132 was the point at which you were like, "you know what, I'm going to stop counting now"?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35161052) |
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Date: January 15th, 2018 12:58 PM Author: swashbuckling tattoo french chef
@itsamandaross
Follow Follow @itsamandaross
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Replying to @_hannah_tomes
Right? Like thanks for saying I have a “normal” body, too bad you’ll never see it!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35160592) |
Date: January 14th, 2018 4:25 PM Author: Supple Boltzmann
Amanda Ross
3:33 PM (50 minutes ago)
to me
Luckily my normal female body and I think you’re trash! Have a blessed Sunday!
Sent from my iPhone
*** <***@gmail.com>
4:24 PM (0 minutes ago)
to Amanda
Amanda - I enjoyed the meta-critique of our interaction in your latest Tweet. Have you and/or your colleagues considered joining our discussion boart and perhaps participating in our dialogue? You may find some of the topics we cover eye-opening. Please do not hesitate to contact us for a personalized moniker as we do practice extreme vetting on potential poasters.
Thank,
Danae
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35155027) |
Date: January 15th, 2018 11:45 AM Author: Adventurous pistol lay
"I was once under the complete delusion that small dicks were "the best." I even wrote a whole babe article about it. Then one day I got wrecked by a member akin to a Chipotle burrito and immediately changed my tune."
quite the delusion she was under. I'm glad she has now turned toward the truth
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35160079) |
Date: January 15th, 2018 1:40 PM Author: Wine Vivacious Lodge
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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859156&forum_id=2#35160884) |
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