If you find a woman attractive, there is no reason to stop sleeping with her. One of two things will happen, she will either eventually dump you or want to marry you (in which case you say no and she will dump you).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846679)

I can see where you are going, but I care more about forming a relationship than just the sex. I’m disgusted by her now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846688)

Some chicks actually can stay loyal in this situation. She can't. She did you the favor of letting you know she's not honorable enough to stay loyal from afar. It's a win in the end

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846871)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846497)

If she's being this sloppy and actually cheating she's likely planning to break up with you this weekend anyway, unless she's a legit psycho.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846595)

Doesn't mean OP's gf is cheating, but the signs don't look too great right now. People are people, and people are weak.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847078)

by the transitive property that makes you alpha over both

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36846766)

give yourself a chance to love her

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847035)

It's straight forward. Ask her about her night at the office. If she lies about it, call her out, and dump her. It literally doesn't matter how you saw her Instagram. It's a public social media post. Its not like you snooped through her phone. Also, since you are dumping her, who cares what she thinks. It's over.

Separately, she may say "oh actually a friend called and was like hey I have tickets to go to X, so I said screw it and left and got dinner. I tried to call you after, it was so fun!" Then you really would look like a weird controlling asshole, which is why you give her the opportunity to lie to your face or tell the truth.

Btw, I like the subtle incorporation of the vacation flame, well done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847557)

This is not flame, I swear. I’ve posted before about the rocky relationship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847596)

I would just call her tonight and tell her that you're breaking up with her because you decided it wasn't going to work out between the two of her. Don't give her any real concrete reasons, but make it clear that you just don't see yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life with her and it's better to cut it loose now. Be polite and don't be a butthurt fag about it.

This will mess with her a lot more psychologically because you're breaking up with her based on the merits of your relationship alone. Also, this is probably coming somewhat out of the blue, which inflicts even more damage.

If you start with the cheating allegations then (1) she'll likely continue the lie and try to turn the tables on you for being "controlling" and (2) she can use her "mistake" as a way to justify why the relationship didn't work out.

Once you've unwinded any shared financial obligations/other matters then make it a clean break and ghost her. She will likely try to make an attempt to win you back--just ignore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847665)

Box her shit up and send it via UPS.

Wake up. This girl does not care about you. Move on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847720)

The key is to catch her in a lie and then - this is the most important part - Ghost the fuck out of her and not respond for a LONG time.

It is basically over now - that call around midnight was her guilt manifesting over some shit behavior.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847450)

What do you mean catch her in the lie? Ghost after calling her out on it? Does this seem reasonable? I’m never going to respond to her again, even though I’m in her city in a couple days for a conference.

If I ghost her without calling her out, doesn’t that leave her with dignity of believing she’s not a confirmed liar/cheater? Also, we have plans for the weekend already made and Saturday night her friend visiting my city was also going to stay at my apt. I don’t even care about the vacation we booked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847528)

We had talked about how we were not serious yet ( in retrospect this was the big red flag - I had poached her from the "Serious" BF she had) but had spent some significant time together. I told her I wanted her in my life and she said that she wanted to be with me as well. We both agreed that since distance was a thing, if we met anyone or hooked up or anything like that, all we needed to do was to be honest and tell each other that something had happened so we could call it off fair and square.

Now, it went well for about a month into this transition. Except, as time went on, I began to notice that it was very lopsided when it came to the effort involved (i.e I worked hard to see her, and she invested very little if any effort to see me).

So anyway, one day, I got a call from her - just like you did - late as fuck at night - and she called to say that she went to get a drink with her ex to get closure.

I basically knew that it was over at that point, in my gut at least. Now, I still actually liked this chick as a friend because she had supported me through some really tough times (L O L @ even thinking like that now) so I didn't end it immediately over the phone, but said something like "hey look - I'm going to come back home this weekend, can we meet up for some coffee and talk and see where things are going." I also wanted to see her in person one last time, to close things out - which I thought was fair.

She said something like "I'd like that, but I might be busy this weekend house sitting with my friend XYZ Girl in ABC location - we made plans a while back - but I think I have time to meet though" - I had met XYZ Girl a couple of times and went with my girl to the restaurant that she was the hostess at once and I knew that my girl did go to ABC location somewhat often so I thought NBD as we had previously seen each other like four weekends in a row.

Now, something in my mind would simply not let that story go. I began to twist it and turn it over in my head and just something did not add up because of that suspicious phone call I received from her a little earlier. It ate at me.

So I come down from LS for the weekend and then I waited to meet with her. Texted her I was in town, and waited. Nothing for a while, then a text that she was still in ABC Location with XYZ girl - complete with an unhappy smiley face that she missed me and asked what I was up to.

Well, I wasn't up to much at this point - but I decided to sure get up to something. I had a friend of mine call up the restaurant where XYZ Girl was working - my bet was that XYZ Girl was going to be working there, which would immediately destroy my girls story and give me all the evidence I needed to surprise the fuck out of her. Lo and behold - instead of being at ABC location, XYZ Girl was working at the fucking restaurant - DESTROYING my girls story immediately and exposing her as a liar.

Now, I hadn't responded to my girls text yet. The one with the sad smiley face asking me what I did this weekend. That fucking smiley face. That smiley face is what turned me into a hard hearted man.

So I finally told her what I did that weekend. The little things in a nice cutesy text - except at the end of the text and I also told her that I happened to be in the neighborhood with my friend where XYZ Girl's restaurant was and he wanted to go there. I told her I saw XYZ Girl who should have been in ABC location with her and then I said "now I need to talk to you"

Within 10 minutes she calls me back, leaves a message on my machine asking me to call her when I got the message.

At this point - this was the perfect time to totally ghost her from then on 100% - but I called her back up and we got into a blowout fight on the phone and it went south from there. I tried to reach out to her a few times a month or two later because we tried to stay friends but it was just to much to overcome. This is where I fucked up BADLY. I should have ghosted her immediately. She moved away like 6 months later.

This period was probably the rock bottom of my life so far.

However, a few years later - Donald Trump got elected as President of the United States of America.

Then about six months ago I saw someone who looked a LOT like her downtown on my way to work, turned out it was her.

By this point (5+ years after the breakup) I had become a totally different person (Dropped out of LS, got a decent finance job, opened up my own business, got a nice car, and gained significant $$$). When we locked eyes she stutter stepped and stopped like she was expecting something from me but I just kept walking, I didn't even know what I saw in her in the first place. She was plain. Basic. Nothing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847955)

I can relate to those smiley faces and bullshit. She sent me a few when she texted me last night — i’d rather she tell me to go to hell.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848012)

What I SHOULD have done was bust her and then ghost - because that will eat at hear from then on. If you try to end it amicably, it just does not work because they get the satisfaction.

If this ever happens to me again (who knows - it just might) - I will do the immediate ghost move.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848056)

I have enough reasons to: 1) she lied to me about being at work late and 2) she was with another male (the it looked like the chair next to him was pushed in table, empty). I don’t know if there were other people in the group or if this male had potential for her to cheat on me with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848129)

That's why seasoned pimps will always freeze their women out and be ice cold. The way to do that now is to ghost. However, I think there is something to be said about busting them (revealing their lie) and then immediately freeze out/ghosting. That is really the apex shit because they simply cannot handle it.

In my defense, I was in my early twenties and in a tough place - she was the last person I trusted at the time (I had basically been forced to go to LS by my boomer parents so I didn't trust them at all - basically being set up to fail).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848134)

First mover advantage in break ups is HUGE. OP, you need to maintain the high ground here at all costs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848166)

180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849769)

FYI...long distance relationships can work but they have to have a strong foundation built over time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847524)

I’m probably going to take cornhuskers advice and just dump her tonight without a clear explanation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847808)

jesus, no wonder your brother killed himself. look, no matter how much of an asshole you are, i wont do the same as him, so grow up you bitch pussy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847868)

you seriously think i posted in their thread because of you? hahahahahaha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36847888)

"you liiiiied to me"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36848884)

You’re better off getting out of an LDR now, anyway. Just look at it like this saved you from wasting your time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849173)

GF cheated on ex with me a couples year’s prior, we started dating. That was stupid. We were somewhat LD that summer (with a finite end). Her ex bf was friends with her brother. He came to visit their house for a July 4 weekend. I saw on her brothers Fb that the dude was there. I asked her if the dude was there, she said no. I said I saw that he was. She then broke down in hysterics and admitted as such.

I broke up with her instantly and did not look back. She groveled and begged to get back together but I didn’t. It was a brutal brutal few months.

It also defines you. Have to set a line now of what you will and will not put up with. If you put up with that behavior, you are not a man. This put trustworthiness at the top of my list. Fast forward to now, married to 100% rock solid girl who is 10x that girl and never has made me doubt her once. Not when dating, not now. Wouldn’t have gotten to this point if I didn’t draw hard lines in my earlier days.

She put that shit on Instagram for the world to see, bro. Be thankful you saw it, too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849373)

I ranged from early 20’s to late 30’s without an issue during that time. Just be put together and interesting. I never did swipe apps but I’d imagine that makes it even easier.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849544)

I believe the girl I made this thread on will be the best in looks and, what I previously believed, potential as a partner. It’s not her fault she never was able to love me back.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849660)

Don't say gay shit like this, man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4082003&forum_id=2#36849808)