thought i screened well and i suppose i did, but just wasn't expecting the personality transplant

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37117605)

fixed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37117612)

He's been married for five years. No kids. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37123318)

In short: Alec Baldwin's brief "married guy" monologue in the Departed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37119635)

I audibly laughed in my office reading this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37125611)

GL

You being genetically attached to her offspring is not part of the equation, it's now HER offspring and you are a conduit for provision.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37117758)

can't you de-redpill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37121132)

Wife frequently refers to "her' daughter

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37119284)

Majority of women think they’re “raising” their husband too ljl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37119749)

Guess who gets the short end of the stick of all this? Amazing Mama in her shiny BMW SUV, with her $1k stroller and expensive going-to-the-gym-right-after outfit, all the effort she puts into kids and looking like supermom for the teachers and other moms, making cards and FaceTiming with grandmas - that's where 110% of her effort is going right now. You are a faceless source of money that is taken for granted and frankly your existence doesn't even register a lot of the time. Lol at "does she still wear the crotchless panties and blow you in the car?" above.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37117960)

also becoming a parent puts a huge crack in one's existence and sense of mortality - kookiness should be expected

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37119302)

It changes things in ways you can't possibly imagine prior, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37119367)

what are changes you've noticed in yourself?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37118166)

-- be in good physical shape; you should strive to look like 1993 Flex Wheeler - you're never going to look anything like that without drugs, but trying to get as muscular and lean as you can is almost always CR re: women, especially if you're not on steroids. if you need workout help, I've got routine recommendations and can probably answer any question you have.

-- don't be a slob; if you're out of college, your car/living areas shouldn't be a mess, and you should've learned good hygiene in highschool. if you didn't, learn now.

-- always be the adult in the room; this means always maintain a lower level of emotional agita when dealing with a problem, don't let her drag you into bullshit arguments (maintain a macro-level view) and control the frame of conversations, have solutions to problems you both encounter, be decisive, don't be a pussy, etc.

-- have a real job that can support your family; this is necessary to maintain her respect, but also gives you control over spending if you're man enough to exert it, which you damn well better be. if you don't have an acceptable job, fucking work your ass off to find one. you need to be able to provide opportunities for your kids.

-- brook no bullshit; firmly (not unduly unkindly, which is an important distinction) shut down emotional histrionics, walk away from arguments where she is emotionally out of control and tell her that you two will discuss them at a later time when you're both calm (and then follow through). have well-thought out reasoning for any of your decisions, and unless she has compelling reasons you're wrong, make the call. when she complains about your level of contribution, explain calmly all that you do.

-- do not tolerate nagging; explain firmly that you're not going to listen to constant nagging, and that she's going to have to accept your answers to things.

-- make every reasonable accommodation; the corollary to the above is that you should do every reasonable thing that she asks, and immediately and firmly reject the unreasonable ones. Basic shit like cleanliness/household repairs shouldn't be put off unnecessarily - laziness is not an acceptable excuse to let little shit hamper your marriage. by implementing this, you take away most of her good reasons to nag, and are much more able to shoot down her shitty invented ones.

-- every fuck should be the fuck of her life, and sex should be regular; if you're not good in bed, learn

If you're deficient in any of those areas, fix them asap.

2. Do what you can to reasonably minimize her (certainly substantial) workload. I'm assuming she's a SAHM. If so, do everything you can to be as active as possible in your kids' lives; this will both reduce her workload and also maximize your relationship with your kids. As a tangential corollary to this, be a good parent. The parenting thread has some good poasts amongst the bullshit, particularly http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4114268&forum_id=2#37091361 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4114268&forum_id=2#37093140 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4114268&forum_id=2#37088752 http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4114268&forum_id=2#37095367 and http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4114268&forum_id=2#37089013 . Don't allow your wife to practice shitty parenting either - if it becomes necessary, explain why what she's doing is bad and then give her the alternative that you're both going to implement. Cohesive, effective parenting is good for your marriage.

3. Don't be a pussy. Her failing to praise you for your contributions is not reason to get upset. You should only bring up your contributions when she tries to minimize them or complain. Otherwise, you're just engaging in emotional masturbation that makes you look insecure and childish.

4. When she is angry or upset or tired, recenter her by reminding her why you're both doing this - having kids is worthwhile, as is marriage. Moreover, this difficulty will pass as your kids get older. Remind her that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that you all will get through it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4118025&forum_id=2#37123292)