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What is your favorite NSFW anecdote from history?

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Plum coldplay fan
  12/27/18
James Joyce
Territorial selfie
  12/27/18
the fart letter? pls be specific
Plum coldplay fan
  12/27/18
The fart letter. Squeaks and all
Territorial selfie
  12/27/18
Napoleon getting a rimjob during the accords.
titillating puppy
  12/27/18
rink
Plum coldplay fan
  12/27/18
I made it up, just like a real historian.
titillating puppy
  12/27/18
Or napoleon sending some officer away so he could smash his ...
Territorial selfie
  12/27/18
I've always had a soft spot for William the Conqueror fallin...
Khaki site hominid
  12/27/18
Hitler making girls shit on his head, and them committing su...
Gay stain
  12/27/18
the reason you know this is a jewish lie is because it's so ...
dashing dragon
  12/27/18
he was a complete freak show. i could see it being true
Gay stain
  12/27/18
...
Cerebral Psychic
  12/27/18
Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the...
Cracking salmon range
  12/27/18
...
Painfully honest vivacious meetinghouse
  12/27/18
Tyft
Pea-brained pozpig
  12/28/18
This isn't even describing an actual event but instead is a ...
Khaki site hominid
  12/28/18
Tcr.
Low-t Sooty Church Party Of The First Part
  12/30/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
For the young man circumcision is followed by subincision wh...
sable 180 electric furnace
  12/27/18
i was a big Midnight Oil fan in the early 90s. Lots of songs...
Plum coldplay fan
  12/27/18
Newly subincised men rub their blood on the backs of others....
sable 180 electric furnace
  12/27/18
Found another fun ritual: In the Brazilian Amazon, young...
sable 180 electric furnace
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/28/18
bronze age pervert touches on this. dysgenic effect of survi...
Plum coldplay fan
  12/27/18
I fucked Abe Lincoln - and he was a bottom!
mauve charismatic property
  12/27/18
Empress Théodora rising from a freak show prostitute ...
Sick Indecent Gas Station
  12/27/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/27/18
No, of course not. All ancient history is suspect. But I bet...
Sick Indecent Gas Station
  12/27/18
What is this I don't even...
Low-t Sooty Church Party Of The First Part
  12/27/18
Felix Faure dying mid-blowjob. He was receiving. Clemence...
drunken clown pisswyrm
  12/27/18
Charles XII getting his shit pushed in fighting the Russians
spectacular wine potus
  12/27/18
Treaty of Breezewood
Wonderful step-uncle's house
  12/27/18
LBJ using his MASSIVE MANMALLET to COMMAND RESPECT
bistre haunting national new version
  12/28/18
https://gawker.com/lbj-was-obsessed-with-his-dick-1694599317...
scarlet bawdyhouse stock car
  12/28/18
...
Sickened newt
  12/30/18
haha penis nsfw btw! go back to reddit faggot
Cyan principal's office toilet seat
  12/28/18
Qaddafi getting butt-raped to death
green odious famous landscape painting
  12/30/18
https://forum.facepunch.com/general/brgcu/Muammar-Gaddafi-An...
appetizing chad
  12/30/18
Trump and the pee pee tapes
Autistic Hospital
  12/30/18
Trump said pussy
bistre haunting national new version
  12/30/18
When soviets soldiers were captured by the Taliban in afghan...
appetizing chad
  12/30/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:44 AM
Author: Plum coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478920)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:44 AM
Author: Territorial selfie

James Joyce

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478927)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:44 AM
Author: Plum coldplay fan

the fart letter? pls be specific

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478930)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:47 AM
Author: Territorial selfie

The fart letter. Squeaks and all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478959)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:45 AM
Author: titillating puppy

Napoleon getting a rimjob during the accords.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478941)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:46 AM
Author: Plum coldplay fan

rink

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478948)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: titillating puppy

I made it up, just like a real historian.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478995)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:48 AM
Author: Territorial selfie

Or napoleon sending some officer away so he could smash his wife, then the officer returning early and finding out.

Very 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478965)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:48 AM
Author: Khaki site hominid

I've always had a soft spot for William the Conqueror falling from his horse, impaling his intestines, and dying in agony of sepsis about two weeks later.

Catherine the Great being serviced by her stallion was a good one too, except that it has no basis in fact.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478961)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:48 AM
Author: Gay stain

Hitler making girls shit on his head, and them committing suicide after

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478963)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:50 AM
Author: dashing dragon

the reason you know this is a jewish lie is because it's so gross/weird. jews love to project when lying

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478985)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:55 AM
Author: Gay stain

he was a complete freak show. i could see it being true

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479023)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:25 AM
Author: Cerebral Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479229)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:49 AM
Author: Cracking salmon range

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

https://biblehub.com/niv/ezekiel/23.htm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478976)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:44 PM
Author: Painfully honest vivacious meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480242)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Pea-brained pozpig

Tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 12:01 PM
Author: Khaki site hominid

This isn't even describing an actual event but instead is a metaphor for Israel's unfaithfulness to God.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486213)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 11:09 AM
Author: Low-t Sooty Church Party Of The First Part

Tcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37496246)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37478996)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:57 AM
Author: sable 180 electric furnace

For the young man circumcision is followed by subincision when his beard starts to grow. The young man is seated on rock while his penis is split open with a stone knife along its full length on the underside. The penis, once split open, is pressed flat against the rock on which the young man is sitting. The Aboriginals explained that this is done in order to make it “lighter and more beautiful".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479035)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 10:58 AM
Author: Plum coldplay fan

i was a big Midnight Oil fan in the early 90s. Lots of songs about giving Australia back

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479041)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:01 AM
Author: sable 180 electric furnace

Newly subincised men rub their blood on the backs of others.

Then there's also the re-opening of the subincision. The urethra is cut deeper by an elder with a sharp flake of stone to further strengthen the bonds of kinship.

Just bros being bros.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479051)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:05 AM
Author: sable 180 electric furnace

Found another fun ritual:

In the Brazilian Amazon, young boys belonging to the indigenous Sateré-Mawé tribe mark their coming of age when they turn 13 in a Bullet and Ant Initiation. The tradition goes as so: they search the jungle for bullet ants which are sedated by a leader who submerges them in an herbal solution. The ants are then weaved into gloves with the stingers pointed inwards. An hour or so later, the ants wake up angrier than ever, and the initiation begins. Each boy has to wear the gloves for ten minutes.

Enduring the pain demonstrates the boys’ readiness for manhood -- so few cry out as doing so would demonstrate weakness. Each boy will eventually wear the gloves 20 times over the span of several months before the initiation is complete.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479087)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:25 PM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480090)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:01 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479053)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:05 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479083)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:54 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479390)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 11:42 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486109)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:15 AM
Author: Plum coldplay fan

bronze age pervert touches on this. dysgenic effect of survivors being those unwilling to die in the face of slavery.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479157)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:03 AM
Author: mauve charismatic property

I fucked Abe Lincoln - and he was a bottom!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37479064)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:34 PM
Author: Sick Indecent Gas Station

Empress Théodora rising from a freak show prostitute to one of the most powerful women in the world.

https://www.purplemotes.net/2017/05/07/empress-theodora-woman-leader/

Theodora herself provided special service to the under-served: she served homosexual men, including slaves, who wanted anal sex.[1] In accordance with hetero-normative ideology, market incentives, and personal preferences and comfort, most women prostitutes historically have focused their practice on heterosexual men. Theodora, in contrast, reached out to serve sexually marginalized men.

Theodora worked hard and was dedicated to her career. She unfortunately lacked natural talent in singing and dancing. Not letting that discourage her, she took up work providing background sexual displays in mime shows:

There was no shame at all in her, and no one ever saw her embarrassed. …. Often she would take her clothes off and stand in the middle of the stage by the mimes, alternately bending backwards or drawing attention to her rear, advertising her special brand of gymnastics both to those who had more intimate knowledge of it and to those who did not — yet. Thus did she abuse her own body licentiously, making it seem that she had genitals not in the place where nature ordained for all other women, but in her face. [2]



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:38 PM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480197)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:41 PM
Author: Sick Indecent Gas Station

No, of course not. All ancient history is suspect. But I bet she was like an ancient Angelina Jolie.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480223)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:38 PM
Author: Low-t Sooty Church Party Of The First Part

What is this I don't even...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480204)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:40 PM
Author: drunken clown pisswyrm

Felix Faure dying mid-blowjob. He was receiving.

Clemenceau made an incredibly XO joke about this: "Il voulait être César, il ne fut que Pompée" ("He wanted to be Caesar, but he was only Pompey", but it could also mean "but he only got a blowjob").

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480217)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:43 PM
Author: spectacular wine potus

Charles XII getting his shit pushed in fighting the Russians

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480238)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 1:54 PM
Author: Wonderful step-uncle's house

Treaty of Breezewood

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37480300)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 11:59 AM
Author: bistre haunting national new version

LBJ using his MASSIVE MANMALLET to COMMAND RESPECT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486198)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 12:05 PM
Author: scarlet bawdyhouse stock car

https://gawker.com/lbj-was-obsessed-with-his-dick-1694599317

The 36th president of the United States reportedly refused to accept staff arguments that outfitting the shower with the demanded features—including one nozzle aimed "directly at the president's penis"—would require a great deal of plumbing work. "If I can move 10,000 troops in a day, you can certainly fix the bathroom any way I want it," Johnson told the staff, according to the book.

He early became fabled for a Rabelaisian earthiness, urinating in the parking lot of the House Office Building as the urge took him; if a colleague came into a Capitol bathroom as he was finishing at the urinal there, he would sometimes swing around still holding his member, which he liked to call "Jumbo," hooting once, "Have you ever seen anything as big as this?," and shaking it in almost a brandishing manner as he began discoursing about some pending legislation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486229)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 4:53 AM
Author: Sickened newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37495729)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2018 12:00 PM
Author: Cyan principal's office toilet seat

haha penis nsfw btw! go back to reddit faggot

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37486206)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 6:12 AM
Author: green odious famous landscape painting

Qaddafi getting butt-raped to death

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37495776)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 10:48 AM
Author: appetizing chad

https://forum.facepunch.com/general/brgcu/Muammar-Gaddafi-Anal-raped-by-an-sharp-wooden-object/1/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37496188)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 6:41 AM
Author: Autistic Hospital

Trump and the pee pee tapes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37495792)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 10:20 AM
Author: bistre haunting national new version

Trump said pussy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37496084)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: appetizing chad

When soviets soldiers were captured by the Taliban in afghan the Taliban would sometimes butt rape them while having someone else slice their skin at their stomach, pull it up over their head on either side, and tie it in a bow over their heads.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4164687&forum_id=2#37496200)