He was my first match on bumble. I downloaded the app the morning after we broke up permanently and I matched with him within seconds. I had never used the app. He didn’t have the “New Here” badge on his profile so either he didn’t delete his account when we first started dating or he LIED about when he created his account (see messages). Also lol @ his attempt to be a player, matching me the morning after breaking my heart (again) and trying to use me to practice his bumble game

Fuck off f*****

First pic is from July ‘21, the rest are from Oct ‘21. https://imgur.com/a/SOJO0ys

He blocked me on text and bumble shortly after these messages

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45244965)

think about this for a moment. xo poasters. this is what happens when chad blows out a woman.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245893)

Bp has nothing to do with that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245907)

180 show

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245257)

Burgers?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245262)

1. Stop thinking about boner police (super lolzy thing type and I understand now why you call him bp)

2. Stop poasting and forget about this place.

3. Get a talk therapist on a weekly basis.

4. Grow as a person and find happiness elsewhere.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246330)

I tracked your various pumos/quotemos for months last year/earlier this year without alerting the board. Sad! Stop smoking so much weed and masturbating so much bro. I knew it was you because you mentioned the passing of a family friend’s relative.

It was funny how you would shittalk me on your diff accts tho

Btw you didn’t know this but when you open Instagram DM conversations on your computer instead of your phone (or vice versa), the “Seen” status updates once you open the convo from a different device. So I know you were reading our old messages every now and then 😘

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245300)

hth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245730)

U: poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245813)

desperate much?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245915)

^ first result on Google. I’m not a Redditor

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245964)

And you think this makes bp… less than 180?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246147)

poaster whom you share a lot in common with, specificay the fact that you're both very much over the poaster you used to date. You're over BP, he's over Box. You're also both very level headed and don't have any obvious personality disorders.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45247571)

that explains a lot

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245302)

Considering unpausing hinge but I’m taking a break for at least a month

Plus I tend to match with a bunch of guys when I feel lonely and then never message back which isn’t fair/nice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245416)

New job/car within a month and a new living situation within six weeks. I already posted this but my letter https://imgur.com/a/5aBjfsG

Don’t want to rehash everything but I think he fell out of love w me and was looking for an excuse to leave but also was scared to pull the plug

Like he was looking for a way out for weeks/months before the soft break up

Could only see that in retrospect

Didn’t post on xo a single time July-Oct

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245538)

uhhhhhh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245771)

Part of why I think he acted cruelly during the break up (and I could only see this months after it happened) is because instead of admitting that he wasn’t in love with me anymore, he spouted out about a list of reasons why it was actually *my fault* we were breaking up. Some of those reasons include:

- I slept with other people before him and he knew some of them and couldn’t get over it (he knew this from date one and had slept with over twice as many people)

- I need attention from men online (this was during the era when I censored myself strictly when it came to personal stuff because I didn’t want to post anything he wouldn’t like. Sometimes he would log on my xo acct and blank my posts because he was concerned about how ppl on here perceived him and our relationship. He was probably mostly referring to my Twitter where I had a private acct with about 60 followers including some irl males who knew I had a bf and who I didn’t chat/flirt with in private (>inb4 “It’s ‘WHOM!’). He told me this while he was at my house breaking up with me and I was like, “I never even posted bikini pics or anything!” and he was like, “I know,” in a tone that kind of implied that he realized that excuse for breaking up with me had failed. He has liked other girls’ bikini photos on Instagram since we broke up. I always watched what I posted on social media while we were dating. My only Instagram post the entire time we dated included him and no one else. I wasn’t anywhere on his social media.

- I actually brought up xo at around this point In our conversation. Normally on xo I tried to keep details about our sex life private because if I said something that remotely touched on sex, a swarm of posters would accuse me of being a whore and a fake Christian. So I just kept quiet for the most part on here about sexual matters while BP and I were together. During the break up meeting, i asked if that bothered him that I rarely wrote about the fact that we had sex. He vigorously agreed that it bothered him.

- While he was away with some family members + a male family friend in July 2021 (he broke up w me the day he returned), I snapped him a picture of the fake vax card I made. He asked me if I actually got the vax and I was like obviously not. At the time, I was confused why he asked because I’d been intensely vocally anti vax and he would’ve known if I’d gotten any shot in previous weeks (since the pic I sent him had two dates/lot #s. Maybe he was hoping I’d say yes so he’d have an excuse to break up with me.

There are more.

That doesn’t change the fact that I was just in a mental rut and was not the kind of gf I’d want to have if I were him during that time. He’d send me job and rooming opportunities and I’d lie about how much looking for jobs I was doing. I can’t even fathom living now like I did then. I was too depressed to even read the books he got for us to read together. This is what I cry about at night.

But even when I got my act together in a month (and still during the time when we were only tentatively broken up), he started ignoring me and wouldn’t even give me a single call over an entire weekend to discuss my new job and catch up. He just ignored me and left me hanging. He did that until October when he broke up with me permanently without ever really opening up to me or telling me how he felt. Then he texted with me and bumbled me for a few days then suddenly blocked me on everything. The night he blocked me was the same night I posted on xo for the first time in months. He unblocked me on a few platforms weeks later. The night we broke up permanently in Oct, I removed him on Instagram and snap because I didnt want to see other girls he followed.

You are spot on that at the time he broke up with me, there was nothing I could have done. He just wanted out. I would have been much less hurt if he was just honest and said that.

All I wanted when we broke up was for him to be gutsy enough to open up fully and have an honest talk with me. As you see in my Easter messages, I just wanted clear boundaries. I needed to hear something like, “I just can’t be friends with you after we’ve dated and I think it’s best we don’t contact each other at all. You still mean so much to me,” or “We can talk on the phone as friends while we’re both single but…”

It doesn’t matter anymore. Everything is entirely shattered and crushed. There’s a bitter taste in our mouths. We will almost certainly never talk to each other face-to-face again and any future real life interaction we might have will be accidental, brief and supremely uncomfortable.

Life.

P.S.: I’ve shocked myself with the strides I’ve made over this past year and it’s only getting better. We’re you expecting that??? I’m glad you broke up with me even if you handled it like a little boy and I handled it like a psycho brat. I’m cold af and will never collapse. I’ll always recover and never give up. But you knew that and thats the part of me that made you scared. Good luck in life.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45248357)

I’m definitely doing better now than he thought I would be doing :) so bye to him

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45248522)

I urge you to let go of him and move on. Please let go completely and don't talk about him anymore.

As an added benefit if you never talk about BP again I will never poast in any of your threads again. Just please, please move on for real and stop poasting about BP. It's time to grow up. Give up the ghost. Regardless of his actions or how it impacted you it's really, truly time to let go.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45248602)

I just can’t be a participant and regret having been with him even if he’s never going to stop cheating

Plus I’m a huge hypocrite/terrible person to do that while participating in parish life. It had to end

Part of me thinks he wants to get caught

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245610)

god damn this content is 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245595)

but i'd still pipe you any day of the week.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245723)

He never responded in detail later

He told me last October that he had started writing letters and e-mails to me but never finished the drafts/sent them for whatever reason

He never opened up to me because he didn’t think I was worth it. I thought he was a true friend. Just like he never called me Labor Day weekend 2021 like he said he would. He just never called. He avoids things because he’s a coward and I’m not worth the effort to him. So good riddance

He responded to me on Easter like I’d respond to someone I really don’t want to talk to at all. Notice his lack of punctuation. He wanted to get in and out of the convo super quickly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245743)

he never wants to meet up with you ever again. why can't you understand this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245850)

He knew about Sam on our first date

He was the one who pursued a relationship with me

Who talked about marriage and family together

Who’d WANT to come over to spend time with me as much as possible even though I wasn’t used to it

Who’d try to hold my hand in church

Who I told my secrets to and confided in

Who would write letters to me on holidays and my bday gushing about how lucky he was

I knew he was so sensitive and delicate so I’d always try my hardest to not hurt him. But he still consciously tried to hurt me for some reason. And then didn’t even have the courtesy to be open and honest with me.

There are so many things I could say that would hurt him and h regretfully have posted some of them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246303)

he hurt you by telling you that he didn't want to be with you, and now you're retaliating by hurting him. the fact that you could hurt him even worse if you wanted to doesn't absolve you in the slightest.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246444)

And I can accept that he doesn’t want to be with me. I do not want to be with him anymore either. That hurt at the time, yes, but not anymore. What hurt is how he dealt with the breakup. Avoidance. Asking me why I don’t want him to match me on bumble the day after he broke things off permanently and I fell asleep sobbing, then messaging me, then blocking me on everything out of the blue, then unblocking me. Zero clear communication because he couldn’t bring himself to muster the guts for an actual conversation. It’s easy for you to blather on about what a bad person I am from afar. Why don’t you go be the morality police in someone else’s thread?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246603)

And I’m literally responding to someone attempting to psychoanalyze me

Why don’t you go to threads other people started about themselves and accuse them of being narcissists

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246630)

you said yourself that he likes posting here. now you're saying that it's on him to avoid this place so he doesn't see how you're trashing him? that makes no sense.

regardless of who the bad guy in the relationship, you're the bad guy right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45246674)

ljl at "imma work harder on myself, and want you to be proud of the person I've become"

a few months later "i'm fucking this married man, i miss my married boyfriend, i couldn't stand to look at pictures of his kids"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5201211&forum_id=2#45245881)