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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency al...
Twisted senate
  07/15/26
“using it for what you think” Arranging hiking ...
Rambunctious location hominid
  07/15/26
say it wasn’t you
concupiscible gay wizard scourge upon the earth
  07/15/26
The Shaggy Defense
floppy copper base dopamine
  07/15/26
...
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/15/26
...
concupiscible gay wizard scourge upon the earth
  07/16/26
you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn ...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
no no no no details "idk what that phone is." ...
laughsome mad-dog skullcap
  07/15/26
no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?
Diverse public bath persian
  07/15/26
lol, fully charged, btw
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/15/26
idiotic
Federal aquamarine area sound barrier
  07/15/26
explain
laughsome mad-dog skullcap
  07/17/26
Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recogn...
Twisted senate
  07/15/26
say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to r...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to...
laughsome mad-dog skullcap
  07/15/26
You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. ...
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or somethi...
Rambunctious location hominid
  07/15/26
I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it...
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't sy...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise o...
Crawly orchid brunch
  07/15/26
This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbas...
Twisted senate
  07/15/26
Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do f...
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to g...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard
Rambunctious location hominid
  07/15/26
...
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and be...
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/15/26
...
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/15/26
...
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/15/26
...
Federal aquamarine area sound barrier
  07/15/26
...
Ebony splenetic den round eye
  07/15/26
...
pearl meetinghouse
  07/15/26
...
lascivious black range
  07/15/26
cr
Light Genital Piercing
  07/15/26
lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and...
Motley nibblets university
  07/15/26
Trying to recover crypto
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/15/26
...
Vibrant school cafeteria
  07/15/26
you're chopped, unc
swashbuckling ruddy mexican theater
  07/15/26
does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting ...
Passionate peach elastic band liquid oxygen
  07/15/26
Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times ...
Tan bawdyhouse
  07/15/26
This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteri...
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
...
obsidian spot
  07/16/26
Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if wor...
Brindle church building skinny woman
  07/15/26
Can’t you wipe it remotely?
Cerebral purple national
  07/15/26
lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it aroun...
Motley nibblets university
  07/15/26
Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence al...
ultramarine sticky stain heaven
  07/15/26
THANK YOU! Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey ...
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/16/26
ctrl-f "grow a beard" jfc this place is retarde...
Rusted Native Pistol
  07/15/26
What if you have a beard already?
navy windowlicker address
  07/16/26
marry a beard
milky heady organic girlfriend
  07/17/26
Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense
olive anal corn cake
  07/15/26
Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe...
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/15/26
he's doing great
Rusted Native Pistol
  07/15/26
...
obsidian spot
  07/17/26
Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit...
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/15/26
under no circumstances can he unlock it
Federal aquamarine area sound barrier
  07/15/26
Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes hi...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/15/26
This works with Androids too.
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/15/26
Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"
Aphrodisiac jewess
  07/15/26
OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto ...
Federal aquamarine area sound barrier
  07/15/26
Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages...
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/15/26
...
obsidian spot
  07/16/26
If you have kids: Wipe it remotely then say: “I&rs...
stirring stag film
  07/15/26
This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and ne...
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/15/26
text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it'...
dun 180 azn chapel
  07/15/26
Never let'em know your next move!
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/16/26
turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers
metal associate
  07/15/26
This could actually work
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/15/26
Fucking love this
underhanded nursing home
  07/15/26
...
Rusted Native Pistol
  07/15/26
...
glassy gas station ape
  07/15/26
darvomaxxing tp
Violet trump supporter
  07/15/26
Bird Brain Masterman
lilac titillating weed whacker house
  07/15/26
...
obsidian spot
  07/17/26
...
laughsome mad-dog skullcap
  07/16/26
...
irradiated corner mood
  07/16/26
...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
*clears throat* *raises hand* haha u r fukt
Aphrodisiac jewess
  07/15/26
...
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/16/26
Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up ...
Passionate peach elastic band liquid oxygen
  07/15/26
...
mustard field mediation
  07/15/26
Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts. It&rsqu...
Amethyst sex offender wrinkle
  07/15/26
Need update OP
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/15/26
Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they'r...
Racy station
  07/15/26
Lol
Amethyst sex offender wrinkle
  07/16/26
Great thread
pearl meetinghouse
  07/15/26
...
razzle autistic internal respiration sanctuary
  07/15/26
even in the face of senescence there are still those among u...
Rusted Native Pistol
  07/15/26
...
hideous curious indian lodge
  07/16/26
thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive ...
lascivious black range
  07/15/26
OP is currently sleeping on the couch
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/16/26
He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.
Amethyst sex offender wrinkle
  07/16/26
I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already
appetizing naked multi-billionaire
  07/16/26
...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/16/26
...
out-of-control boyish quadroon
  07/16/26
...
ultramarine sticky stain heaven
  07/16/26
"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."
out-of-control boyish quadroon
  07/16/26
He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time....
underhanded nursing home
  07/16/26
Wow lol
Twisted senate
  07/16/26
Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstan...
Twisted senate
  07/16/26
Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content b...
underhanded nursing home
  07/16/26
what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/16/26
You forgot to tell him to seek god
underhanded nursing home
  07/16/26
that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you ca...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/16/26
You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting...
contagious salmon property digit ratio
  07/16/26
well when you put it that way
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/16/26
...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to ...
Razzle-dazzle lodge
  07/16/26
WHAT would she have found if given full access?
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/16/26
She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No in...
pearl meetinghouse
  07/16/26
It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’v...
Twisted senate
  07/16/26
Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leape...
underhanded nursing home
  07/16/26
...
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/16/26
...
lascivious black range
  07/16/26
...
ocher locus personal credit line
  07/16/26
...
Multi-colored doobsian ratface
  07/17/26
It was his poasting phone
sienna disrespectful church water buffalo
  07/17/26
...
Arousing Spruce Step-uncle's House
  07/17/26
because the whole thing is flame
marvelous set
  07/17/26
Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates&qu...
underhanded nursing home
  07/17/26
Pumos love to throw cold water on everything
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
(literal blackpilled drug addict)
marvelous set
  07/17/26
it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame beca...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/17/26
Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying fl...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thi...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/17/26
Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then s...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
we WANT to BELIEVE
obsidian spot
  07/17/26
i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is...
Trip travel guidebook crotch
  07/17/26
The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some...
Twisted senate
  07/17/26
People want to know more specifics about what they helped yo...
underhanded nursing home
  07/17/26
Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that w...
gay degenerate
  07/17/26
Hard-core black pill
sable halford temple
  07/18/26
Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his ...
lilac titillating weed whacker house
  07/17/26
tell her its for your SWMFM side gig
jade goal in life gaming laptop
  07/17/26
This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a mothe...
underhanded nursing home
  07/18/26
...
lilac titillating weed whacker house
  07/18/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM
Author: Twisted senate

Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM
Author: Rambunctious location hominid

“using it for what you think”

Arranging hiking dates with AHGs?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002518)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM
Author: concupiscible gay wizard scourge upon the earth

say it wasn’t you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM
Author: floppy copper base dopamine

The Shaggy Defense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002515)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002927)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:12 PM
Author: concupiscible gay wizard scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004128)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002441)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: laughsome mad-dog skullcap

no no no

no details

"idk what that phone is."

"idk how it got there"

"idk the password"

"idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean"

etc etc etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002445)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002471)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: Diverse public bath persian

found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002798)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge

lol, fully charged, btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002809)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM
Author: Federal aquamarine area sound barrier

idiotic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002824)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 11:33 AM
Author: laughsome mad-dog skullcap

explain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006238)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: Twisted senate

Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.

I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002468)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002479)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM
Author: laughsome mad-dog skullcap

"you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002484)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002496)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Rambunctious location hominid

This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002512)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002575)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM
Author: Crawly orchid brunch

Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003257)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM
Author: Twisted senate

This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002525)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002566)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002576)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM
Author: Rambunctious location hominid

This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002606)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002609)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002786)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002828)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002801)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:50 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002815)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:58 PM
Author: Federal aquamarine area sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002840)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:17 PM
Author: Ebony splenetic den round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003202)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:54 PM
Author: pearl meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003281)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:21 PM
Author: lascivious black range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003317)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:45 PM
Author: Light Genital Piercing

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM
Author: Motley nibblets university

lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:32 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo

Trying to recover crypto

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002777)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:00 PM
Author: Vibrant school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003147)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM
Author: swashbuckling ruddy mexican theater

you're chopped, unc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002444)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:24 PM
Author: Passionate peach elastic band liquid oxygen

does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting from your fingers hits the keyboard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002458)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM
Author: Tan bawdyhouse

Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002470)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:11 PM
Author: obsidian spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004585)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM
Author: Brindle church building skinny woman

Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002500)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM
Author: Cerebral purple national

Can’t you wipe it remotely?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002505)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM
Author: Motley nibblets university

lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM
Author: ultramarine sticky stain heaven

Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:15 AM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge

THANK YOU!

Cuz why the fuck didn't he anticipate a nosey wife finding it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003845)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM
Author: Rusted Native Pistol

ctrl-f "grow a beard"

jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002514)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: navy windowlicker address

What if you have a beard already?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003688)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 1:26 PM
Author: milky heady organic girlfriend

marry a beard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006596)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: olive anal corn cake

Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002779)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo

Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002803)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM
Author: Rusted Native Pistol

he's doing great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002826)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: obsidian spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005728)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge

Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?

You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002806)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM
Author: Federal aquamarine area sound barrier

under no circumstances can he unlock it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002833)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002834)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line

This works with Androids too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002926)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac jewess

Just say "Disah no wat you tink!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002808)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM
Author: Federal aquamarine area sound barrier

OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002829)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line

Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"

Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.

You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:12 PM
Author: obsidian spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004586)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM
Author: stirring stag film

If you have kids:

Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)

If you don’t have kids:

Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line

This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50002987)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM
Author: dun 180 azn chapel

text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers

throw her off balance

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003009)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge

Never let'em know your next move!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003853)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM
Author: metal associate

turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

This could actually work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003062)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:50 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Fucking love this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003120)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:51 PM
Author: Rusted Native Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003126)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:05 PM
Author: glassy gas station ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003173)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:26 PM
Author: Violet trump supporter

darvomaxxing tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003228)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:31 PM
Author: lilac titillating weed whacker house

Bird Brain Masterman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003236)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:28 AM
Author: obsidian spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005727)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:26 AM
Author: laughsome mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003752)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 1:04 PM
Author: irradiated corner mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004116)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:52 AM
Author: gay degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005744)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 8:59 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac jewess

*clears throat*

*raises hand*

haha u r fukt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:18 AM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003856)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM
Author: Passionate peach elastic band liquid oxygen

Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003138)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:19 PM
Author: mustard field mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003209)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM
Author: Amethyst sex offender wrinkle

Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.

It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003224)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:27 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo

Need update OP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003229)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 10:46 PM
Author: Racy station

Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they're for emergencies

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003261)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:12 AM
Author: Amethyst sex offender wrinkle

Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003400)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:11 PM
Author: pearl meetinghouse

Great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003308)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:30 PM
Author: razzle autistic internal respiration sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003328)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:34 PM
Author: Rusted Native Pistol

even in the face of senescence there are still those among us who operate at an extraordinarily high level

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003335)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:20 AM
Author: hideous curious indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003864)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM
Author: lascivious black range

thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003321)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:37 AM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line

OP is currently sleeping on the couch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003418)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:48 AM
Author: Amethyst sex offender wrinkle

He’s lucky if it’s his own couch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003420)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 12:59 AM
Author: appetizing naked multi-billionaire

I reposted this on Reddit and it has 8,000 upvotes already

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003431)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:58 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003599)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:08 AM
Author: out-of-control boyish quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003615)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 7:52 AM
Author: ultramarine sticky stain heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:10 AM
Author: out-of-control boyish quadroon

"Your bass looks amazing in those plants."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003618)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

He's leaving us hanging just about the right amount of time. We should have an update by early afternoon if he wants to keep this on track

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003679)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Twisted senate

Wow lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003684)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: Twisted senate

Thanks to the poas above who said unlock under no circumstances. I don’t use cloud backup so I did say I was trying to find some old info off that phone and charged it up but couldn’t remember the PIN. Luckily there were no messages that popped up on the lock screen. I guess I need to start shutting this thing off or take it with me all the time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003681)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:00 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Fuck those motherfuckers. They deprived us of good content by aiding and abetting this moral crime. They should be ashamed as officers of the court

That said, turn it off, but don't take it away immediately. That would be very suspicious now that her "female intuition" is engaged

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003692)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:22 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

what exactly are you involved in? my suggestion would be to stop whatever it is that you're doing. this close call should serve as an eye opener.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003746)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:25 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

You forgot to tell him to seek god

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003749)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:27 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

that's up to him, but he is playing a dangerous game. you can just look at all the horseshit that i got into back in 2019/2020 if you want to see how not to live.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003753)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:43 AM
Author: contagious salmon property digit ratio

You got pozzed by taking tranny hooker loads while injecting heroin into ur cock and it all worked out for you. NPB can cop a lil strange no problem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003768)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:50 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

well when you put it that way

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003780)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:42 AM
Author: gay degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005896)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 10:56 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle lodge

DESCRIBE her reaction and her mood from your explanation to present.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50003793)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 3:43 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo

WHAT would she have found if given full access?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: pearl meetinghouse

She just accepted that you didn’t have the code? No interrogation?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004604)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: Twisted senate

It was an android with the weird swipe pattern and I’ve been an iPhonemo for a while now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004605)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 5:23 PM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Why leave us hanging on the details now after everyone leaped into action to help you? You owe us content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50004621)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 8:36 PM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005117)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: lascivious black range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005550)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2026 11:58 PM
Author: ocher locus personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005552)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 6:44 AM
Author: Multi-colored doobsian ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005738)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:07 AM
Author: sienna disrespectful church water buffalo

It was his poasting phone

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005748)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 7:53 AM
Author: Arousing Spruce Step-uncle's House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005817)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:06 AM
Author: marvelous set

because the whole thing is flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:20 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

Isn't proper protocol to keep it going with "updates"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005863)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 8:41 AM
Author: gay degenerate

Pumos love to throw cold water on everything

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005895)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:28 AM
Author: marvelous set

(literal blackpilled drug addict)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005960)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:54 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

it's true though. you faggots claim everything is flame because you can't fathom people doing irl shit irl. you're probably the guy who called my midlife crisis/spiral flame and made up that my wife is "good at computer."

and that's another thing, you'd think you shut-in basement-dwelling nerds would be tech savvy, but you don't realize that you can use the wayback machine to find old poasts here, which is exactly what she did. so you call me out as flame for talking about that when it happened.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006008)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:58 AM
Author: gay degenerate

Everything true I've poasted has a bunch of people crying flame, and every flame I've poasted has a bunch of poasters credulously believing it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006014)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

and then there's consuela, a non-pumo, who does the same thing. apparently, according to him, if you have a drug addiction and fuck strange women and blow your life up, you're trying to be zany by making up stories on the web.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006017)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:21 AM
Author: gay degenerate

Consuela is always the first to believe anything (and then spam it forever), which is hilarious considering he believes himself to be a genius who has figured out the secret inner workings of the world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006076)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:10 AM
Author: obsidian spot

we WANT to BELIEVE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006032)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:12 AM
Author: Trip travel guidebook crotch

i know gunner IRL and can confirm everything he's poasted is factual. he can confirm the same about me (minus the homo encounters, i made all those up haha)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006040)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: gay degenerate

The recent pic of me with the topless stripper who jerked my limp pizzwyrn would have been good content

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006069)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:26 AM
Author: Twisted senate

Pretty much as described, I said I charged it up to get some stuff off it but couldn’t remember whatever pattern I had. She bought it and didn’t question that it was connected to wifi and her mood doesn’t seem to be any different. Kind of an anticlimactic ending but crisis averted for now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005956)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:45 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

People want to know more specifics about what they helped you protect, if this close call is going to make you shy away from further depravity, if you're actually emboldened instead, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50005992)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:53 AM
Author: gay degenerate

Is she stupid? Serious question, like is she the type that would believe this and forget about it? Because if not she just doesn't want to overreact and make accusations, and is currently polling every woman she knows, maybe even Reddit, who will all tell her what's really going on, and in a few weeks you're going to be ambushed about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:07 AM
Author: sable halford temple

Hard-core black pill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008059)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 10:19 AM
Author: lilac titillating weed whacker house

Guy who’s about to get pinned and then overrun by his wife’s flanking maneuver. She’s going to attack your life and digital footprint from every conceivable direction. There’s no way your opsec is up to snuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006070)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2026 9:59 AM
Author: jade goal in life gaming laptop

tell her its for your SWMFM side gig

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50006018)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 9:56 AM
Author: underhanded nursing home

This thread was the blackpill I needed to never help a motherfucker on here again without an express promise to provide more information as thanks to his bros

We're starving for content, and it's unseemly to withhold

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008051)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 18th, 2026 10:35 AM
Author: lilac titillating weed whacker house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2#50008094)