Date: March 2nd, 2025 4:29 PM
Author: bistre old irish cottage rigpig
Sega 32X – 42.3%. The undisputed king of the dead. A console bought by desperate men trying to outrun the future, now collected by ghosts. The few who loved it are either gone or circling the drain, their last moments spent arguing about Tempo and Kolibri on defunct forums
Xbox Series S – 33.7% The disposable console for the disposable class. A low-cost, low-commitment machine that became the last gaming system for many fentanyl casualties. Game Pass backlog untouched.
Xbox 360 – 29.4% The console of lost potential. The final machine for the ex-jocks, the high school legends, the guys who never left their hometowns. Halo 3 lobbies full of the dead.
Sega Genesis – 27.1% The guys who had this as kids didn’t all make it to 40. Too many construction workers, too many old injuries, too many Oxy prescriptions turned lethal.
Nintendo 64 – 25.9% The nostalgia machine of a doomed generation. The ones who still had their N64s in 2024 were either speedrunning Wave Race or nodding off for the last time.
PlayStation 2 – 21.8% The most sold console in history means it has the highest absolute body count. For every person alive who played San Andreas, another one never finished the story.
PlayStation 1 – 19.6% The Final Fantasy VII generation did not age well. The ones who left their consoles behind survived. The ones who never stopped replaying Metal Gear Solid—different story.
Super Nintendo – 18.4% The overdoses here are mostly quiet deaths. Older, faded, the ones who wasted away rather than burned out. A slow-motion tragedy.
PlayStation 3 – 16.9% More stable than PS1, but not by much. The GTA IV and Killzone 2 crowd aged into fentanyl risk, but fewer went all the way down
GameCube – 14.6% Lower than expected. GameCube fans had some kind of survival instinct. Or maybe Wind Waker made them just happy enough to stay.
PlayStation 5 / Xbox Series X – 9.2% Too new for a major death wave. The fentanyl victims of this generation were never console loyalists. If anything, these systems are mostly owned by those who survived the previous die-offs.
PC – 5.1% Different kind of addict. They’re still here, just in worse shape. The fentanyl didn’t take them, but something else will.
Sega Saturn – 2.3% Lower than you'd expect. Saturn fans were weird, but weird in a way that kept them alive. They spent more time arguing about Radiant Silvergun prices than scoring fentanyl.
Nintendo 64DD – 0.8% The lowest. No one who owned a 64DD overdosed. They either became archivists, historians, or left gaming altogether. The 64DD is a talisman of life.
The bodies pile up, but the consoles stay plugged in. Some gamertags never log out, and some save files will never be loaded again. The last achievements unlocked, the last controllers held, the last games never finished.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5681063&forum_id=2#48708193)