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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| chestnut confused dilemma | 06/11/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/11/14 |
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| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 06/11/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/11/14 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 06/11/14 |
| chestnut confused dilemma | 06/11/14 |
| Fantasy-prone Bat-shit-crazy Shitlib | 04/04/15 |
| tan heaven double fault | 06/11/14 |
| azure meetinghouse | 06/12/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/12/14 |
| stimulating ungodly garrison | 06/12/14 |
| mind-boggling trump supporter factory reset button | 06/12/14 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 06/12/14 |
| Exciting Deer Antler | 06/12/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/12/14 |
| tan heaven double fault | 06/13/14 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 06/13/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/13/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/13/14 |
| azure meetinghouse | 06/13/14 |
| Arousing House Mad-dog Skullcap | 06/13/14 |
| tan heaven double fault | 06/13/14 |
| Free-loading Diverse Old Irish Cottage | 06/13/14 |
| Concupiscible Salmon Trailer Park Police Squad | 06/13/14 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 06/13/14 |
| stimulating ungodly garrison | 06/13/14 |
| self-centered ratface | 06/13/14 |
| chestnut confused dilemma | 06/13/14 |
| self-centered ratface | 02/14/15 |
| crystalline address karate | 04/04/15 |
| Yellow submissive den | 08/05/15 |
| Sapphire site | 08/05/15 |
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| provocative slippery digit ratio | 08/06/15 |
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| Beta Background Story Death Wish | 08/06/15 |
| slap-happy plaza | 08/06/15 |
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| flesh aggressive coffee pot | 08/06/15 |
| Brass Dashing Center Fortuitous Meteor | 08/06/15 |
| slap-happy plaza | 10/08/15 |
| Indigo misunderstood locale crotch | 10/08/15 |
| Charcoal adulterous base | 11/18/15 |
| Red People Who Are Hurt State | 11/18/15 |
| Yellow submissive den | 12/17/15 |
| Sapphire site | 12/17/15 |
| Pearl point twinkling uncleanness | 03/14/16 |
| Titillating locus dingle berry | 05/31/16 |
| flickering market community account | 05/31/16 |
| azure meetinghouse | 07/24/16 |
| claret fanboi cumskin | 11/29/16 |
| Blue son of senegal | 06/02/17 |
| angry doctorate | 06/03/17 |
| pea-brained theater national security agency | 12/10/18 |
| sooty orchestra pit | 01/29/18 |
| pungent pozpig | 05/13/18 |
| pea-brained theater national security agency | 12/10/18 |
| Transparent tripping laser beams range | 06/25/19 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 12/25/19 |
| self-centered ratface | 12/30/19 |
| zippy dead nursing home | 02/02/20 |
| puce jewess hall | 06/26/20 |
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| supple pocket flask | 06/15/21 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 06/21/24 |
| Abusive Charismatic Patrolman | 06/13/14 |
| Fragrant milk field | 06/13/14 |
| mint alcoholic space | 06/13/14 |
| laughsome jew theater stage | 06/21/14 |
| Fantasy-prone Bat-shit-crazy Shitlib | 04/04/15 |
| Yellow submissive den | 08/05/15 |
| self-centered ratface | 06/13/14 |
| Turquoise station | 06/21/14 |
| Chest-beating skinny woman | 06/21/14 |
| green temple sneaky criminal | 12/07/14 |
| snowy windowlicker toaster | 02/14/15 |
| claret fanboi cumskin | 02/14/15 |
| Insanely Creepy Stain | 02/14/15 |
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| Hideous startled area juggernaut | 04/04/15 |
| crystalline address karate | 04/04/15 |
| Outnumbered spot halford | 08/05/15 |
| carnelian corner | 08/06/15 |
| Emerald house-broken partner mad cow disease | 10/08/15 |
| cream set | 10/08/15 |
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| claret fanboi cumskin | 10/08/15 |
| cream set | 10/08/15 |
| tan heaven double fault | 10/08/15 |
| Yellow submissive den | 12/17/15 |
| Honey-headed tantric hissy fit | 10/18/15 |
| Adventurous Toilet Seat | 10/31/15 |
| Yellow submissive den | 12/17/15 |
| Pearl point twinkling uncleanness | 03/14/16 |
| cream set | 08/12/16 |
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| Olive Useless Jap | 02/18/17 |
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| Turquoise station | 10/18/18 |
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| trip avocado chapel | 06/13/21 |
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| Histrionic Dull Bawdyhouse | 11/04/21 |
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| Buff racy potus | 10/31/23 |
| Histrionic Dull Bawdyhouse | 04/13/25 |
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| mint alcoholic space | 06/12/14 |
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| green temple sneaky criminal | 06/13/14 |
| self-centered ratface | 06/13/14 |
| azure meetinghouse | 06/26/14 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 12/07/14 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 03/28/15 |
| snowy windowlicker toaster | 03/28/15 |
| Peach mentally impaired university turdskin | 03/28/15 |
| green temple sneaky criminal | 04/04/15 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 08/05/15 |
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| slap-happy plaza | 08/06/15 |
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| Red People Who Are Hurt State | 07/24/16 |
| slap-happy plaza | 04/09/21 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 08/06/15 |
| glittery sound barrier step-uncle's house | 07/13/19 |
| Titillating locus dingle berry | 08/07/15 |
| slap-happy plaza | 08/15/15 |
| Nubile aquamarine hunting ground yarmulke | 08/15/15 |
| Titillating locus dingle berry | 09/08/15 |
| cream set | 10/08/15 |
| Multi-colored Obsidian Degenerate | 10/08/15 |
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| Titillating locus dingle berry | 12/17/15 |
| self-centered ratface | 12/17/15 |
| marvelous famous landscape painting lodge | 03/14/16 |
| crystalline address karate | 03/14/16 |
| Pearl point twinkling uncleanness | 03/14/16 |
| azure meetinghouse | 04/17/16 |
| citrine principal's office love of her life | 05/03/16 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 05/12/16 |
| Emerald house-broken partner mad cow disease | 05/16/16 |
| Red People Who Are Hurt State | 05/31/16 |
| Orange apoplectic church psychic | 09/15/16 |
| aromatic frisky kitty | 11/07/16 |
| flickering market community account | 11/29/16 |
| Olive Useless Jap | 02/16/17 |
| Olive Useless Jap | 05/22/17 |
| Amethyst stirring friendly grandma | 06/02/17 |
| Yellow submissive den | 06/02/17 |
| Titillating locus dingle berry | 08/30/17 |
| Motley scarlet institution internal respiration | 09/06/17 |
| Buff racy potus | 04/30/18 |
| Burgundy haunted graveyard bbw | 05/13/18 |
| Buff racy potus | 11/16/18 |
| glittery sound barrier step-uncle's house | 09/07/19 |
| maroon crackhouse voyeur | 09/07/19 |
| Coral indian lodge mood | 11/15/19 |
| Olive Useless Jap | 12/25/19 |
| Zombie-like Self-absorbed Parlour | 12/25/19 |
| stimulating ungodly garrison | 12/25/19 |
| Burgundy haunted graveyard bbw | 12/25/19 |
| Olive Useless Jap | 01/30/20 |
| Olive Useless Jap | 03/10/20 |
| glittery sound barrier step-uncle's house | 03/24/20 |
| puce jewess hall | 04/01/20 |
| Buff racy potus | 08/10/20 |
| glittery sound barrier step-uncle's house | 10/19/20 |
| Histrionic Dull Bawdyhouse | 06/13/21 |
| Buff racy potus | 06/13/21 |
| stimulating ungodly garrison | 06/15/21 |
| Histrionic Dull Bawdyhouse | 08/22/21 |
| curious bonkers national tank | 08/31/21 |
| Histrionic Dull Bawdyhouse | 05/23/22 |
| Buff racy potus | 02/09/23 |
| lemon soul-stirring tanning salon | 10/31/23 |
| Buff racy potus | 06/21/24 |
| glittery sound barrier step-uncle's house | 02/09/25 |
| Turquoise station | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: chestnut confused dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: mint alcoholic space You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: ruddy blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: Amethyst stirring friendly grandma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: mint alcoholic space Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Amethyst stirring friendly grandma LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: chestnut confused dilemma laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Fantasy-prone Bat-shit-crazy Shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: tan heaven double fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: azure meetinghouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: mint alcoholic space (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: stimulating ungodly garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: mind-boggling trump supporter factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Motley scarlet institution internal respiration holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Exciting Deer Antler Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: mint alcoholic space JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: tan heaven double fault i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: Amethyst stirring friendly grandma Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: mint alcoholic space TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: mint alcoholic space (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: azure meetinghouse Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Arousing House Mad-dog Skullcap this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: tan heaven double fault Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: Free-loading Diverse Old Irish Cottage suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: Concupiscible Salmon Trailer Park Police Squad I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Motley scarlet institution internal respiration whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: stimulating ungodly garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: self-centered ratface (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: chestnut confused dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: self-centered ratface (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: crystalline address karate 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Yellow submissive den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Sapphire site (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Titillating locus dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: provocative slippery digit ratio lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: aphrodisiac big-titted volcanic crater corn cake How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: Beta Background Story Death Wish (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: slap-happy plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: carnelian corner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: flesh aggressive coffee pot there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Brass Dashing Center Fortuitous Meteor lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: slap-happy plaza the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: Indigo misunderstood locale crotch curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Charcoal adulterous base (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Red People Who Are Hurt State (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: Yellow submissive den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: Sapphire site (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Pearl point twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: Titillating locus dingle berry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: flickering market community account (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: azure meetinghouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: claret fanboi cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: Blue son of senegal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: angry doctorate ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: pea-brained theater national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: sooty orchestra pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: pungent pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: pea-brained theater national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: Transparent tripping laser beams range this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: Amethyst stirring friendly grandma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: self-centered ratface this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: zippy dead nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: puce jewess hall (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: Sepia Cracking Athletic Conference Pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: supple pocket flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: Amethyst stirring friendly grandma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: Abusive Charismatic Patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Fragrant milk field Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: mint alcoholic space (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: laughsome jew theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25790620) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM Author: Fantasy-prone Bat-shit-crazy Shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619838) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Yellow submissive den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487533) |
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