Ladies and gentlemen, we gather here today to mark the passing of a man who, frankly, left little mark at all. My wife’s grandfather, a figure so unremarkable that his absence from this world will ripple no further than this room, has left us. And as I stand here, tasked with delivering his eulogy, I find myself grappling not with grief, but with the stark reality of a life so utterly inconsequential that it begs the question: why did it persist at all?

Let us be honest. This man, whose name I hesitate to speak—not out of reverence, but because it carries no weight—achieved nothing of note. He did not build, he did not create, he did not inspire. His days were a procession of mundane routines, each as forgettable as the last. He toiled in no great profession, contributed to no noble cause, and left behind no legacy worth mentioning. His existence was a shadow, fleeting and formless, unnoticed by the world beyond his doorstep. If there was a talent, a spark, a single moment of brilliance, it was buried so deep that none of us ever glimpsed it.

*Gasps ripple through the crowd, a few stifled sobs breaking the silence.*

Some might call this harsh, but truth is not softened by sentiment. His lineage, carried forward through sheer chance, should have faded three generations ago. His genes, unremarkable and untested, have no claim to immortality. They are a footnote in a story no one will read. To etch a name on his tombstone would be an act of charity he does not deserve—an obscure man, unknown in life, should remain nameless in death.

*More gasps, louder now. A woman in the front row buries her face in her hands, weeping.*

What can we say of a man who lived without purpose? He did not shape the world, nor did he strive to. His was a life of quiet insignificance, a placeholder in time. And so, as we lay him to rest, we must acknowledge this truth: he lived a useless man, he died a nameless individual.

*Silence falls, heavy and uncomfortable, as the crowd sits stunned, some crying softly, others staring in disbelief.*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746250&forum_id=2#49072700)

Needs an additional section about how most of the rest of us, but perhaps not the speaker, are also worthless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746250&forum_id=2#49072701)