CDC: "If you don't have a fully gassed-up dirtbike, you're insane."
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 26th, 2020 1:08 PM Author: Galvanic painfully honest whorehouse nibblets
Media Statement
For Immediate Release: Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Contact: Media Relations
(404) 639-3286
In light of the growing potential for the spread of the 2019 Novel Coronavirus (2019-nCoV) to United States populations, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has today released a new set of guidelines for the prevention and management of the disease. Among those recommendations are enhanced hygiene protocols, restriction of participation in mass events, screenings at established clinical intake locations in the event of manifestation of symptoms or exposure, and the purchase of dirtbikes.
"Dirtbikes are among the most versatile means of transportation and survival in the event of a mass-scale outbreak of this pathogen," said CDC Director Robert B. Redfield, M.D. "They can go anywhere, they can be fueled from a variety of sources, and, let's be honest, there is an undeniable cool factor to them. I have one of my own, a little 1995 Suzuki RM125, and I still get chills when I fishtail out of the parking lot onto Clifton Road on a Friday after lunch to head home for the weekend."
Based on current information, it is highly likely that there will be a growing number of domestic cases of 2019-nCoV in the coming days and weeks, including through both direct (person-to-person) and indirect spread. The goal of the CDC continues to be limit the outbreak of the virus and minimize its impact to individuals' lives through proactive identification, containment, and treatment protocols. Nonetheless, latest epidemiological modeling suggests that the virus has a high chance of breaching initial quarantine barriers and spreading through major urban population centers. There are currently active cases in Memphis, New York, Seattle, San Francisco, St. Louis, Chicago, and Phoenix, with the total count of active infections at 1,243 along with more than 6,000 persons in monitoring and/or quarantine.
"Let me be frank," added Dr. Redfield, "this could get out of hand quickly. If it does, if we're reduced to a state of road wars and fights over fuel and cannibalism, what do you want to be on? What is the most maneuverable? The most survivable? What will give you and your family the best fighting chance to see another day, assuming that life is even worth living as the descent into chaos continues almost unabated? The answer is a dirtbike."
The CDC has worked with dirtbike manufacturers, distributors, and vendors around the country in order to secure the lowest possible prices on a variety of dirtbikes, supported by the release of congressionally authorized emergency funding, so as to ensure their efficient uptake throughout the nation. Simply mention the offer code "Megiddo" at any dirtbike point of sale and you will be able to purchase your bike at or near manufacturer cost through the end of March.
As we learn more about his novel coronavirus, we will continue to update our guidance. For the latest information on the outbreak, visit CDC’s Novel Coronavirus 2019 website. (Transcript of Press Telebriefing to Follow.)
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U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES
CDC works 24/7 protecting America’s health, safety and security. Whether disease start at home or abroad, are curable or preventable, chronic or acute, or from human activity or deliberate attack, CDC responds to America’s most pressing health threats. CDC is headquartered in Atlanta and has experts located throughout the United States and the world.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4453547&forum_id=2#39656567)
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