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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/03/18
...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
magical sadistic personal credit line affirmative action
  12/03/18
ty!
stubborn locus gunner
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
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  12/03/18
...
Salmon cuck
  12/24/21
...
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  12/03/18
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Motley Stag Film
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aqua pozpig
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stubborn locus gunner
  12/14/18
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stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/18
...
Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria
  12/24/18
...
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  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
histrionic regret
  12/24/18
120
Irradiated rusted depressive
  12/24/18
...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/18
...
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stubborn locus gunner
  12/16/21
...
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...
Wine casino rigor
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
laughsome awkward gas station kitty cat
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
stubborn locus gunner
  07/01/19
...
Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria
  07/01/19
...
Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
stubborn locus gunner
  12/10/19
getting close...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
...
well-lubricated passionate mad cow disease
  12/24/19
...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
...
Olive Dilemma
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
...
exciting maroon mad-dog skullcap pit
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
concupiscible puce ratface
  12/24/19
lol
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
This
Salmon cuck
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
lascivious purple hunting ground trailer park
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
...
Fiercely-loyal mentally impaired friendly grandma
  12/24/19
...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Salmon cuck
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stubborn locus gunner
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Onyx Library
  12/24/20
It's time.
stubborn locus gunner
  12/24/20
...
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...
stubborn locus gunner
  12/16/21
...
pearly galvanic gay wizard fortuitous meteor
  12/16/21
...
Onyx Library
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
stubborn locus gunner
  12/20/21
Lmao
Bat-shit-crazy Theater Bbw
  12/20/21
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stubborn locus gunner
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: magical sadistic personal credit line affirmative action

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Heady heaven lettuce

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Salmon cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670143)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: slippery floppy jew senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Motley Stag Film



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Heady heaven lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Razzmatazz avocado institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: comical sienna philosopher-king public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367151)



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: aqua pozpig



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Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Flesh Parlour



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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407273)



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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: crimson violent therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462612)



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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: submissive thriller feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: histrionic regret

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Irradiated rusted depressive

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Irradiated rusted depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: pearly galvanic gay wizard fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: glittery generalized bond station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: concupiscible puce ratface

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Flickering tanning salon yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Wine casino rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: laughsome awkward gas station kitty cat

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Doobsian pisswyrm school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: well-lubricated passionate mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Olive Dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: exciting maroon mad-dog skullcap pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: concupiscible puce ratface

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Salmon cuck

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: lascivious purple hunting ground trailer park

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal mentally impaired friendly grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Salmon cuck

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: brilliant domesticated pervert church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Onyx Library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: comical sienna philosopher-king public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



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Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: pearly galvanic gay wizard fortuitous meteor



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Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Onyx Library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643241)



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Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy Theater Bbw

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: stubborn locus gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43658914)



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Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy Theater Bbw



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: erotic orange international law enforcement agency circlehead



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Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
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Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
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