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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  10/15/14
...
Adventurous orchid mood love of her life
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
Stimulating effete patrolman famous landscape painting
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
Dun Hyperactive Orchestra Pit
  10/15/14
sooo good
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
Hyperventilating Frozen Turdskin Circlehead
  10/15/14
Always great
rusted preventive strike
  10/15/14
...
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  10/17/14
!!!
Passionate Carnelian Doctorate
  10/17/14
wtf
Hateful insane fortuitous meteor
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
Self-absorbed Exhilarant Voyeur Place Of Business
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Orange whorehouse cuck
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
jet at-the-ready business firm
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
disturbing sweet tailpipe
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
lavender locale
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
wonderful bistre affirmative action step-uncle's house
  10/17/14
...
disturbing sweet tailpipe
  10/26/14
...
hideous flatulent parlour gaping
  10/26/14
...
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
opaque cruise ship associate
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
clear wrinkle rehab
  11/05/14
oh ho!
Black Irate Scourge Upon The Earth Dilemma
  11/05/14
never caught this one until now. thnx.
brilliant alpha volcanic crater
  11/05/14
...
Fear-inspiring menage
  06/06/20
...
Bonkers Offensive State Messiness
  02/11/22
...
cerise school
  03/05/22
tyft
Very tactful hospital organic girlfriend
  03/05/22
...
fuck her right in the pussy
  06/08/26
Important bump
Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband
  06/08/26


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: Adventurous orchid mood love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: Stimulating effete patrolman famous landscape painting

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26519900)



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Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: Dun Hyperactive Orchestra Pit

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: Hyperventilating Frozen Turdskin Circlehead

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26522233)



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Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: rusted preventive strike

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538501)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Passionate Carnelian Doctorate

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538515)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Hateful insane fortuitous meteor

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: Self-absorbed Exhilarant Voyeur Place Of Business

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Orange whorehouse cuck

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: jet at-the-ready business firm

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538567)



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Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: disturbing sweet tailpipe

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538619)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: lavender locale

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: wonderful bistre affirmative action step-uncle's house

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: disturbing sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26587986)



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Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: hideous flatulent parlour gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: opaque cruise ship associate

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26653282)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: clear wrinkle rehab

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26653296)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: Black Irate Scourge Upon The Earth Dilemma

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26653485)



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Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: brilliant alpha volcanic crater

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#26653508)



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Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: Fear-inspiring menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: Bonkers Offensive State Messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#43954057)



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Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: cerise school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#44089135)



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Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: Very tactful hospital organic girlfriend

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#44089181)



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Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: fuck her right in the pussy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#49921834)



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Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois)

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2#49921844)