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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Provocative nursing home
  04/24/15
...
cerebral useless brakes roommate
  04/24/15
...
Plum Unhinged Step-uncle's House Juggernaut
  04/24/15
...
hideous electric double fault antidepressant drug
  04/24/15
did this today
Pink dilemma cuckold
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Internet-worthy Aromatic Whorehouse Nowag
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Gay mental disorder
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Bisexual Coldplay Fan Shrine
  10/22/15
...
iridescent arousing garrison
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
opaque disturbing rigpig
  10/22/15
...
Provocative nursing home
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Blue plaza
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Provocative nursing home
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Blue plaza
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Provocative nursing home
  05/16/16
...
Outnumbered feces
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
copper mentally impaired university pocket flask
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
scarlet psychic depressive
  12/28/16
...
Outnumbered feces
  11/11/20
...
ruddy shitlib church
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Provocative nursing home

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: cerebral useless brakes roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Plum Unhinged Step-uncle's House Juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: hideous electric double fault antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Pink dilemma cuckold

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Aromatic Whorehouse Nowag

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Gay mental disorder

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Bisexual Coldplay Fan Shrine

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: iridescent arousing garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: opaque disturbing rigpig

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Provocative nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Blue plaza

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Provocative nursing home

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Blue plaza

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Provocative nursing home

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Outnumbered feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: copper mentally impaired university pocket flask

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: scarlet psychic depressive

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Outnumbered feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: ruddy shitlib church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335487)