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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/03/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Dashing Chapel
  12/03/18
ty!
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Grizzly Galvanic Church Building Headpube
  12/03/18
...
olive concupiscible dog poop
  12/24/21
...
Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann
  12/03/18
...
180 nofapping spot giraffe
  12/03/18
...
Coral multi-colored location
  12/03/18
...
massive exciting boiling water faggotry
  12/03/18
...
Grizzly Galvanic Church Building Headpube
  12/03/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/07/18
...
Lavender rehab
  12/07/18
...
sticky messiness site
  12/07/18
...
Disturbing Karate Plaza
  12/07/18
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Swashbuckling chest-beating tank
  12/07/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/14/18
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Chartreuse really tough guy native
  12/14/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/18
...
Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann
  12/24/18
...
Drab trip toilet seat
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
effete sapphire lay
  12/24/18
120
Cerebral henna tattoo
  12/24/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/18
...
Cerebral henna tattoo
  12/24/18
...
dull cracking national shitlib
  12/24/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/18
...
Adventurous Embarrassed To The Bone Stead Pisswyrm
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
bonkers nursing home people who are hurt
  12/24/18
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/16/21
...
Tripping locus
  12/24/18
...
wonderful sable home
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Clear deep indian lodge
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Mustard startling stage chad
  07/01/19
...
Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann
  07/01/19
...
Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/10/19
getting close...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
...
frum gay filthpig
  12/24/19
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
...
Khaki crusty azn property
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
diverse cobalt milk digit ratio
  12/24/19
...
tantric chocolate piazza knife
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
bonkers nursing home people who are hurt
  12/24/19
lol
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
This
olive concupiscible dog poop
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
glassy state trust fund
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
...
alcoholic vivacious nowag
  12/24/19
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
olive concupiscible dog poop
  12/24/19
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/19
...
Avocado pungent ceo
  12/24/19
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/15/20
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/23/20
...
shivering walnut school cafeteria
  12/24/20
It's time.
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/24/20
...
sticky messiness site
  12/24/20
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/16/21
...
dull cracking national shitlib
  12/16/21
...
shivering walnut school cafeteria
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/20/21
Lmao
Seedy mind-boggling volcanic crater cumskin
  12/20/21
...
Mustard startling stage chad
  12/22/21
...
Seedy mind-boggling volcanic crater cumskin
  12/22/21
...
onyx incel legend
  12/24/21
...
olive concupiscible dog poop
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Dashing Chapel

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Grizzly Galvanic Church Building Headpube

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: olive concupiscible dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: 180 nofapping spot giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Coral multi-colored location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: massive exciting boiling water faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Grizzly Galvanic Church Building Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Lavender rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: sticky messiness site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Disturbing Karate Plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Swashbuckling chest-beating tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Chartreuse really tough guy native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Drab trip toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: effete sapphire lay

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Cerebral henna tattoo

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Cerebral henna tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: dull cracking national shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Adventurous Embarrassed To The Bone Stead Pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: bonkers nursing home people who are hurt

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Tripping locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: wonderful sable home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Clear deep indian lodge

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Mauve beady-eyed pistol boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: frum gay filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Khaki crusty azn property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: diverse cobalt milk digit ratio

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: tantric chocolate piazza knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: bonkers nursing home people who are hurt

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: olive concupiscible dog poop

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: glassy state trust fund

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: alcoholic vivacious nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: olive concupiscible dog poop

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Avocado pungent ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: shivering walnut school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: sticky messiness site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: dull cracking national shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: shivering walnut school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Seedy mind-boggling volcanic crater cumskin

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Mustard startling stage chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Seedy mind-boggling volcanic crater cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: onyx incel legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: olive concupiscible dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2#49538935)