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Adopting an older kid is TCR IMO

- Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can ...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
Wtf
razzle-dazzle nighttime library
  07/26/21
?
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. ...
filthy nowag
  07/26/21
I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. g...
filthy nowag
  07/26/21
Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting becau...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
...
Hideous school cafeteria wagecucks
  07/26/21
sadly this is probably tcr if you have a jesus complex wi...
Deranged Chapel
  07/26/21
I've been in at least one relationship that I think would pr...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situati...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environ...
Harsh menage
  07/26/21
OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. ...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
What Clique were you/them in in School?
jet church death wish
  07/26/21
very academic and unrealistic take
Slate comical abode
  07/26/21
Why unrealistic?
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are r...
Slate comical abode
  07/26/21
This is just a restatement of what you already said
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
fuck off spaceporn
big base gaping
  07/26/21
...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/29/21
op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com...
Twinkling stock car spot
  07/26/21
...
mind-boggling church building sound barrier
  07/26/21
yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than you...
Insanely creepy cordovan internal respiration police squad
  07/26/21
With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never re...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry ...
Insanely creepy cordovan internal respiration police squad
  07/26/21
It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP. ...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you
Supple chartreuse senate
  07/26/21
Also not a bad idea
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 hi...
racy selfie
  07/26/21
imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains ...
Hideous school cafeteria wagecucks
  07/26/21
...
Rusted galvanic factory reset button lettuce
  07/26/21
...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
(Buddy Garrity)
Godawful transparent locus laser beams
  07/26/21
Cuck. Also toddlers are fun to play with
trip at-the-ready knife
  07/26/21
For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playin...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/26/21
...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/28/21
"Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they ...
Overrated aromatic marketing idea travel guidebook
  07/29/21
? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't co...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/29/21
Need to keep the flame going longer.
Overrated aromatic marketing idea travel guidebook
  07/29/21
It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, mis...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/29/21
link
shaky partner address
  07/29/21
...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  07/29/21
...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  10/27/21
I’m glad there are people who think like this because ...
thirsty pungent dragon step-uncle's house
  10/27/21
yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally ...
Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef
  10/27/21
...
Harsh menage
  10/27/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:44 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

- Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult

- Doesn't bring a new life into this shitty world

- Babies/toddlers/little kids are fucking annoying to deal with!!

- For women, you don't have to endure pregnancy or childbirth

- There's no timeline to worry about, like your sperm/eggs rotting; you can do it at any time

Sure, I'm curious what kind of superhuman, talented kid my genes would make. But that's the only drawback, and it isn't that bad. Some people want kids in order to leave a legacy but I don't see why they have to be related by blood, and I'll live on through my actual impact anyway.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842629)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle nighttime library

Wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842636)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842639)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:57 AM
Author: filthy nowag

having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. people like you and TV shows like Punky Brewster romanticize adopting kids. but it's a huge challenge, far greater than having and raising your own kids. adopted kids have major issues and you just don't know what you're gonna get. all of the drama and problems my family ever had were because of my adopted siblings. and despite all the love and opportunities my parents gave them, i'm not sure their lives turned out better than if they stayed in foster care. one ended up in prison and his kid committed suicide. they're white, too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842644)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don't know what you're gonna get when you have biological kids, either.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842646)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM
Author: filthy nowag

true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. genetics is everything. environment has much less impact on how kids turn out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842649)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:03 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting because I'm pretty mentally ill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842651)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:39 AM
Author: Hideous school cafeteria wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843511)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: Deranged Chapel

sadly this is probably tcr

if you have a jesus complex with the commensurate patience and love and understanding, then you can do it. if you're just a low level do-gooder you wont be able to handle all that they throw at you



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842647)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

I've been in at least one relationship that I think would prepare me for patiently, unconditionally* loving and providing for an angsty, perhaps traumatized teenager.

*(even if they were dishonest, disrespectful, ungrateful, violent, sneaky, pathological liars...)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842648)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:23 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situation went so poorly. That risk is noted, but it isn't a deal-breaker. All any parent can do is try their best.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842661)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:45 AM
Author: Harsh menage

the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environment means much less than the marbles you were born with

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843542)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:36 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. So a bio kid likely would too. I'm rolling the dice either way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844166)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:06 PM
Author: jet church death wish

What Clique were you/them in in School?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843966)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: Slate comical abode

very academic and unrealistic take

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842645)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:05 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

Why unrealistic?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842652)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:29 AM
Author: Slate comical abode

your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are robots

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 7:01 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

This is just a restatement of what you already said

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42846054)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 7:30 AM
Author: big base gaping

fuck off spaceporn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842716)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:12 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860696)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:22 AM
Author: Twinkling stock car spot

op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/amp/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842761)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:53 PM
Author: mind-boggling church building sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845736)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:47 AM
Author: Insanely creepy cordovan internal respiration police squad

yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than your own child. fighting evolution to let the worst genes in society thrive won't have any negative consequences for society or you and your family directly...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842807)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:15 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never reproduce OR adopt!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842884)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:41 AM
Author: Insanely creepy cordovan internal respiration police squad

it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry dirtbag genes. if you can't make your own child then that option is fine if you really need a kid for some reason. but it's never preferable to your own offspring. this isn't debatable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842961)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:45 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP.

And I'm mentally ill anyway (though fortunately it's under control now!), so I doubt the chances of crazy are much worse for an adopted kid. All I can do is try my best with what I get... just like any other parent.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845453)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:06 AM
Author: Supple chartreuse senate

you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:16 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

Also not a bad idea

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842886)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: racy selfie

My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 high school athlete

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842984)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:43 AM
Author: Hideous school cafeteria wagecucks

imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains out and becomes a neurosurgeon that supports you both in your old age

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843533)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:43 PM
Author: Rusted galvanic factory reset button lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844205)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:39 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:42 PM
Author: Godawful transparent locus laser beams

(Buddy Garrity)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: trip at-the-ready knife

Cuck.

Also toddlers are fun to play with

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 12:59 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playing with my sibling's kid(s).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:33 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I understand the process correctly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845674)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2021 5:33 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42858709)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:14 AM
Author: Overrated aromatic marketing idea travel guidebook

"Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult"

You are not familiar with the relevant social science.

Almost nothing you do will matter.

Even looking past the genes (which are by far most important) the (real) mother's lunch on a ransom Tuesday during her first trimester maters 10x more to the kids long-term outcome than your 10 years (and $500k) spent raising it.

This sounds hyperbolic, but it's not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860699)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:18 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't control what they do with it, of course.

edit: That's definitely hyperbolic, lol. I'll do my best. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll have given them an opportunity. That's a lot on its own.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860710)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:19 AM
Author: Overrated aromatic marketing idea travel guidebook

Need to keep the flame going longer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860717)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:21 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, misled, or deranged.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860723)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:22 AM
Author: shaky partner address

link

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860725)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:23 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860727)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 3:03 AM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43336828)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 6:04 AM
Author: thirsty pungent dragon step-uncle's house

I’m glad there are people who think like this because it’s hard for older kids to get adopted. It is deeply depressing to think about a kid in that situation.

The risk is that the kid may be psychologically damaged as hell by that point. Read about Romanian orphan study etc

Actually babies and toddlers are fun. Hard work but when it’s your child you love them in a way that it’s hard to comprehend before having kids. It is the highlight of my day to come home to my toddler and spend time together. It keeps me going.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43337014)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 12:10 PM
Author: Appetizing Carmine Lay French Chef

yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally never asked to be born - are being totally passed over and neglected. it honestly seems like a no-brainer for me to help one of them instead of narcissistically making a new one.

they might have issues but that's true of any kid... certainly any bio child of mine would have a good chance of developing some kind of mental illness lol.

babies/toddlers are alright in small doses. and sure, i could end up liking them more if i had them, but imagine giving birth to one and being constantly annoyed by it lmao. i'm glad that yours brings you so much joy, though. 💕

someone in a different thread seems to think i'll change my mind, but i truly believe this is the best choice for me. i find each bullet point in the OP independently convincing, and there are a lot of them. this just makes sense to me, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338156)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 12:12 PM
Author: Harsh menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338164)