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Adopting an older kid is TCR IMO
Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 26th, 2021 5:44 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven - Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult - Doesn't bring a new life into this shitty world - Babies/toddlers/little kids are fucking annoying to deal with!! - For women, you don't have to endure pregnancy or childbirth - There's no timeline to worry about, like your sperm/eggs rotting; you can do it at any time
Sure, I'm curious what kind of superhuman, talented kid my genes would make. But that's the only drawback, and it isn't that bad. Some people want kids in order to leave a legacy but I don't see why they have to be related by blood, and I'll live on through my actual impact anyway. |
Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM Author: deranged french chef Wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842636) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842639) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:57 AM Author: motley orange bawdyhouse having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. people like you and TV shows like Punky Brewster romanticize adopting kids. but it's a huge challenge, far greater than having and raising your own kids. adopted kids have major issues and you just don't know what you're gonna get. all of the drama and problems my family ever had were because of my adopted siblings. and despite all the love and opportunities my parents gave them, i'm not sure their lives turned out better than if they stayed in foster care. one ended up in prison and his kid committed suicide. they're white, too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842644) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don't know what you're gonna get when you have biological kids, either. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842646) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM Author: motley orange bawdyhouse true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. genetics is everything. environment has much less impact on how kids turn out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842649) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:03 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting because I'm pretty mentally ill (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842651) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:39 AM Author: Multi-colored regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843511) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: blathering hyperventilating sanctuary sadly this is probably tcr
if you have a jesus complex with the commensurate patience and love and understanding, then you can do it. if you're just a low level do-gooder you wont be able to handle all that they throw at you
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven I've been in at least one relationship that I think would prepare me for patiently, unconditionally* loving and providing for an angsty, perhaps traumatized teenager.
*(even if they were dishonest, disrespectful, ungrateful, violent, sneaky, pathological liars...) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:23 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situation went so poorly. That risk is noted, but it isn't a deal-breaker. All any parent can do is try their best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842661) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:45 AM Author: Thirsty den rigor the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environment means much less than the marbles you were born with (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843542) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:36 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. So a bio kid likely would too. I'm rolling the dice either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844166) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:06 PM Author: Outnumbered brethren What Clique were you/them in in School? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843966) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM Author: Low-t disturbing puppy school very academic and unrealistic take (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842645) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 6:05 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven Why unrealistic? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842652) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:29 AM Author: Low-t disturbing puppy school your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are robots (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842778) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 7:01 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven This is just a restatement of what you already said (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42846054) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 7:30 AM Author: talking titillating toilet seat fuck off spaceporn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842716) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:12 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860696) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:22 AM Author: Dark well-lubricated brunch op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/amp/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842761) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:53 PM Author: plum duck-like theater idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845736) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 8:47 AM Author: rusted travel guidebook fortuitous meteor yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than your own child. fighting evolution to let the worst genes in society thrive won't have any negative consequences for society or you and your family directly... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842807) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:15 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never reproduce OR adopt! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842884) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:41 AM Author: rusted travel guidebook fortuitous meteor it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry dirtbag genes. if you can't make your own child then that option is fine if you really need a kid for some reason. but it's never preferable to your own offspring. this isn't debatable. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842961) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:45 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP.
And I'm mentally ill anyway (though fortunately it's under control now!), so I doubt the chances of crazy are much worse for an adopted kid. All I can do is try my best with what I get... just like any other parent. |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:06 AM Author: flesh provocative generalized bond principal's office you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842849) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:16 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven Also not a bad idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842886) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:48 AM Author: big shrine round eye My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 high school athlete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842984) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 11:43 AM Author: Multi-colored regret imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains out and becomes a neurosurgeon that supports you both in your old age (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843533) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 1:43 PM Author: Chocolate Chapel Marketing Idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844205) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:39 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845413) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 4:42 PM Author: onyx mad-dog skullcap (Buddy Garrity) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845437) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 9:57 AM Author: sepia fragrant queen of the night Cuck.
Also toddlers are fun to play with |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 12:59 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playing with my sibling's kid(s). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843932) |
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Date: July 26th, 2021 5:33 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I understand the process correctly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845674) |
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Date: July 28th, 2021 5:33 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42858709) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:14 AM Author: Big-titted kitchen mad cow disease "Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult"
You are not familiar with the relevant social science.
Almost nothing you do will matter.
Even looking past the genes (which are by far most important) the (real) mother's lunch on a ransom Tuesday during her first trimester maters 10x more to the kids long-term outcome than your 10 years (and $500k) spent raising it.
This sounds hyperbolic, but it's not. |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:18 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven ? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't control what they do with it, of course.
edit: That's definitely hyperbolic, lol. I'll do my best. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll have given them an opportunity. That's a lot on its own. |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:19 AM Author: Big-titted kitchen mad cow disease Need to keep the flame going longer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860717) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:21 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, misled, or deranged. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860723) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:22 AM Author: nubile umber international law enforcement agency casino link (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860725) |
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Date: July 29th, 2021 1:23 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860727) |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 3:03 AM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43336828) |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 6:04 AM Author: Electric resort I’m glad there are people who think like this because it’s hard for older kids to get adopted. It is deeply depressing to think about a kid in that situation.
The risk is that the kid may be psychologically damaged as hell by that point. Read about Romanian orphan study etc
Actually babies and toddlers are fun. Hard work but when it’s your child you love them in a way that it’s hard to comprehend before having kids. It is the highlight of my day to come home to my toddler and spend time together. It keeps me going. |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 12:10 PM Author: Coiffed apoplectic heaven yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally never asked to be born - are being totally passed over and neglected. it honestly seems like a no-brainer for me to help one of them instead of narcissistically making a new one.
they might have issues but that's true of any kid... certainly any bio child of mine would have a good chance of developing some kind of mental illness lol.
babies/toddlers are alright in small doses. and sure, i could end up liking them more if i had them, but imagine giving birth to one and being constantly annoyed by it lmao. i'm glad that yours brings you so much joy, though. 💕
someone in a different thread seems to think i'll change my mind, but i truly believe this is the best choice for me. i find each bullet point in the OP independently convincing, and there are a lot of them. this just makes sense to me, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Date: October 27th, 2021 12:12 PM Author: Thirsty den rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338164) |