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Adopting an older kid is TCR IMO

- Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can ...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
Wtf
Cream aromatic pervert masturbator
  07/26/21
?
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. ...
Charismatic Fat Ankles
  07/26/21
I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. g...
Charismatic Fat Ankles
  07/26/21
Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting becau...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
...
bateful alcoholic jap
  07/26/21
sadly this is probably tcr if you have a jesus complex wi...
supple turquoise ratface
  07/26/21
I've been in at least one relationship that I think would pr...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situati...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environ...
claret cerebral principal's office stock car
  07/26/21
OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. ...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
What Clique were you/them in in School?
twinkling mad cow disease point
  07/26/21
very academic and unrealistic take
beta people who are hurt
  07/26/21
Why unrealistic?
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are r...
beta people who are hurt
  07/26/21
This is just a restatement of what you already said
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
fuck off spaceporn
Jet 180 tattoo
  07/26/21
...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/29/21
op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com...
cerise pozpig rehab
  07/26/21
...
hyperactive geriatric location
  07/26/21
yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than you...
spectacular jet-lagged national
  07/26/21
With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never re...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry ...
spectacular jet-lagged national
  07/26/21
It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP. ...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you
excitant maroon center associate
  07/26/21
Also not a bad idea
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 hi...
Nubile high-end sanctuary
  07/26/21
imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains ...
bateful alcoholic jap
  07/26/21
...
Overrated tripping cruise ship
  07/26/21
...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
(Buddy Garrity)
domesticated carmine temple
  07/26/21
Cuck. Also toddlers are fun to play with
smoky public bath
  07/26/21
For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playin...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/26/21
...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/28/21
"Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they ...
heady factory reset button affirmative action
  07/29/21
? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't co...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/29/21
Need to keep the flame going longer.
heady factory reset button affirmative action
  07/29/21
It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, mis...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/29/21
link
diverse irate theatre dragon
  07/29/21
...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  07/29/21
...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  10/27/21
I’m glad there are people who think like this because ...
free-loading hospital
  10/27/21
yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally ...
Frum clear scourge upon the earth
  10/27/21
...
claret cerebral principal's office stock car
  10/27/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:44 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

- Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult

- Doesn't bring a new life into this shitty world

- Babies/toddlers/little kids are fucking annoying to deal with!!

- For women, you don't have to endure pregnancy or childbirth

- There's no timeline to worry about, like your sperm/eggs rotting; you can do it at any time

Sure, I'm curious what kind of superhuman, talented kid my genes would make. But that's the only drawback, and it isn't that bad. Some people want kids in order to leave a legacy but I don't see why they have to be related by blood, and I'll live on through my actual impact anyway.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842629)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM
Author: Cream aromatic pervert masturbator

Wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842636)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842639)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:57 AM
Author: Charismatic Fat Ankles

having grown up with adopted siblings, i would never adopt. people like you and TV shows like Punky Brewster romanticize adopting kids. but it's a huge challenge, far greater than having and raising your own kids. adopted kids have major issues and you just don't know what you're gonna get. all of the drama and problems my family ever had were because of my adopted siblings. and despite all the love and opportunities my parents gave them, i'm not sure their lives turned out better than if they stayed in foster care. one ended up in prison and his kid committed suicide. they're white, too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842644)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

I'm sorry for what you/your family experienced. But you don't know what you're gonna get when you have biological kids, either.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842646)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM
Author: Charismatic Fat Ankles

true, but at least they are your kids and have your genes. genetics is everything. environment has much less impact on how kids turn out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842649)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:03 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

Fair, well, that could be another point *for* adopting because I'm pretty mentally ill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842651)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:39 AM
Author: bateful alcoholic jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843511)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: supple turquoise ratface

sadly this is probably tcr

if you have a jesus complex with the commensurate patience and love and understanding, then you can do it. if you're just a low level do-gooder you wont be able to handle all that they throw at you



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842647)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:01 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

I've been in at least one relationship that I think would prepare me for patiently, unconditionally* loving and providing for an angsty, perhaps traumatized teenager.

*(even if they were dishonest, disrespectful, ungrateful, violent, sneaky, pathological liars...)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842648)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:23 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

I read your edit. I'm really sorry to hear that the situation went so poorly. That risk is noted, but it isn't a deal-breaker. All any parent can do is try their best.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842661)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:45 AM
Author: claret cerebral principal's office stock car

the genetic data is pointing in this direction--that environment means much less than the marbles you were born with

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843542)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:36 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

OP here. Like most poasters, I suffer from mental illness. So a bio kid likely would too. I'm rolling the dice either way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844166)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:06 PM
Author: twinkling mad cow disease point

What Clique were you/them in in School?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843966)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:59 AM
Author: beta people who are hurt

very academic and unrealistic take

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842645)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 6:05 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

Why unrealistic?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842652)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:29 AM
Author: beta people who are hurt

your view is idealistic and assumes things like people are robots

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842778)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 7:01 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

This is just a restatement of what you already said

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42846054)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 7:30 AM
Author: Jet 180 tattoo

fuck off spaceporn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842716)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:12 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860696)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:22 AM
Author: cerise pozpig rehab

op in 5 yrs https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.metroweekly.com/2019/04/lesbian-mothers-killed-their-six-adopted-children-in-murder-suicide-inquest-finds/amp/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842761)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:53 PM
Author: hyperactive geriatric location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845736)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 8:47 AM
Author: spectacular jet-lagged national

yeah just raise some junky losers' offspring rather than your own child. fighting evolution to let the worst genes in society thrive won't have any negative consequences for society or you and your family directly...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842807)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:15 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

With this level of unfounded bitterness, I hope you never reproduce OR adopt!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842884)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:41 AM
Author: spectacular jet-lagged national

it's founded on logic and experience. dirtbag parents carry dirtbag genes. if you can't make your own child then that option is fine if you really need a kid for some reason. but it's never preferable to your own offspring. this isn't debatable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842961)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:45 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

It is absolutely debatable. See all the points in the OP.

And I'm mentally ill anyway (though fortunately it's under control now!), so I doubt the chances of crazy are much worse for an adopted kid. All I can do is try my best with what I get... just like any other parent.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845453)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:06 AM
Author: excitant maroon center associate

you mean cat, and yes, I agree with you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842849)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:16 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

Also not a bad idea

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842886)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Nubile high-end sanctuary

My wife has been advocating for us to adopt a black 16-17 high school athlete

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42842984)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 11:43 AM
Author: bateful alcoholic jap

imagine her shock when he doesn't violently fuck her brains out and becomes a neurosurgeon that supports you both in your old age

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843533)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 1:43 PM
Author: Overrated tripping cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42844205)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:39 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 4:42 PM
Author: domesticated carmine temple

(Buddy Garrity)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845437)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: smoky public bath

Cuck.

Also toddlers are fun to play with

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843006)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 12:59 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

For a couple hours at a time, they are. I'll be fine playing with my sibling's kid(s).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42843932)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2021 5:33 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

Also, fostering is a slightly less intense alternative, if I understand the process correctly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42845674)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2021 5:33 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42858709)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:14 AM
Author: heady factory reset button affirmative action

"Provides a kid a supportive environment in which they can thrive as a young adult"

You are not familiar with the relevant social science.

Almost nothing you do will matter.

Even looking past the genes (which are by far most important) the (real) mother's lunch on a ransom Tuesday during her first trimester maters 10x more to the kids long-term outcome than your 10 years (and $500k) spent raising it.

This sounds hyperbolic, but it's not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860699)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:18 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

? I'm for sure going to provide that environment. I can't control what they do with it, of course.

edit: That's definitely hyperbolic, lol. I'll do my best. Even if it doesn't work out, I'll have given them an opportunity. That's a lot on its own.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860710)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:19 AM
Author: heady factory reset button affirmative action

Need to keep the flame going longer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860717)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:21 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

It's always hard to tell if someone on here is trolling, misled, or deranged.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860723)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:22 AM
Author: diverse irate theatre dragon

link

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860725)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2021 1:23 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#42860727)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 3:03 AM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43336828)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 6:04 AM
Author: free-loading hospital

I’m glad there are people who think like this because it’s hard for older kids to get adopted. It is deeply depressing to think about a kid in that situation.

The risk is that the kid may be psychologically damaged as hell by that point. Read about Romanian orphan study etc

Actually babies and toddlers are fun. Hard work but when it’s your child you love them in a way that it’s hard to comprehend before having kids. It is the highlight of my day to come home to my toddler and spend time together. It keeps me going.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43337014)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 12:10 PM
Author: Frum clear scourge upon the earth

yeah, it's super depressing that these kids - who literally never asked to be born - are being totally passed over and neglected. it honestly seems like a no-brainer for me to help one of them instead of narcissistically making a new one.

they might have issues but that's true of any kid... certainly any bio child of mine would have a good chance of developing some kind of mental illness lol.

babies/toddlers are alright in small doses. and sure, i could end up liking them more if i had them, but imagine giving birth to one and being constantly annoyed by it lmao. i'm glad that yours brings you so much joy, though. 💕

someone in a different thread seems to think i'll change my mind, but i truly believe this is the best choice for me. i find each bullet point in the OP independently convincing, and there are a lot of them. this just makes sense to me, idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338156)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2021 12:12 PM
Author: claret cerebral principal's office stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4885776&forum_id=2#43338164)