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How do I check out of my job without getting fired?
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:02 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic As you may know, I'm a software engineering manager. In the last four or so months my job has become intolerable for several reasons:
1. My manager is now a "queer" shitlib feminist who uses the word "bro" derisively. This should be more than sufficient to look for a new job. But it gets worse.
2. I'm averaging at least four meetings a day. Today I had six. Almost had seven but turned down that last one because it was too much. As a manager and tech lead, I need to participate in nearly all of these meetings, so I can't sit back and just listen. The meeting load has somehow gotten even slightly worse recently.
3. My aforementioned manager is kind of stupid and is forcing me to make ill-advised decisions that may put my project far behind schedule and at risk of being cut.
The situation is simply beyond repair. I want to find something new, but apparently the tech job market is not in the best shape at the moment.
So, how can I check out of this job without getting fired? I can't attend fewer meetings. I still have to manage people. Too much shit on my plate. If I were an IC, it'd be much easier to stop giving a shit, but I'm in too visible of a position.
Please help. As mentioned in other threads, I still hope ICE murders my manager. Thanks. |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:10 PM Author: apoplectic cruise ship telephone Is your manager Indian? Indians don't use "bro". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604705) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:14 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic My manager is a white woman, unfortunately. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604716) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:46 PM Author: 180 stead hairy legs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604954) |
Date: January 20th, 2026 7:07 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604698) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:10 PM Author: cerebral autistic windowlicker https://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2967620&mc=148&forum_id=2 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604702) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:09 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604700) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:15 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic The problem is I have to actively participate in or even lead most of these meetings. AI can’t replace that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604720) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:18 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604728) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:26 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot You can't delegate running meetings as a middle manager. That's literally your primary function. If you did that you wouldn't "be visible" and would quickly get canned. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604765) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:28 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604775) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:30 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604785) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:36 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic I thought management would be more tolerable than codecucking because I'm not autistic enough to code for several hours a day. Also seemed better for my career to move into management. But it turns out that I hate management even more than codecucking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604896) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:39 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot Then go back to "codecucking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604914) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:40 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604924) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:16 PM Author: Curious Locale 1. Become competent at your job (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604722) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:17 PM Author: Jet-lagged Titillating Fat Ankles Dragon email me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604726) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:20 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Sent. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604735) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:17 PM Author: Diverse space These projects are all stupid bullshit. Just get a job at Chipotle. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604727) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:21 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic I heard they ask really tricky questions in their interviews. Like, how many golf balls can you fit in a school bus? I can never figure those out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604738) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:22 PM Author: Diverse space they dont. my cousin works at chipotle and he's a felon who didnt finish high school. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604745) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:23 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Oh, interesting. Do they do WFH? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604749) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:24 PM Author: Diverse space yes, if you live in the back of the store (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604752) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:27 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604772) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:21 PM Author: vibrant national Are you an Engineer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604740) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:22 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic If I remember correctly, I think I mentioned that I'm a software engineering manager. I could be wrong, though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604746) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:26 PM Author: vibrant national they let Women do that. they can even manage the manager. she's probably a liberal artist btw. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604766) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:30 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Unfortunately, my manager is a white woman. She's also described herself as "queer" and refers to her husband as her "partner." With these facts alone we can conclude she's a rancid, toxic shitlib. She does, however, have a CS degree. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604782) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:40 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot Does she actually understand how to do her job given that you obviously do not?
I generally hate shitlibs but the problem here sounds like a you problem and not a her problem. |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:43 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Dear cowardly pumo,
I've actually received multiple positive evaluations of my performance as a manager and unsolicited, positive feedback from a lot of people I work with. That does not change the fact that I hate my job.
Sincerely yours,
cucumbers tp |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot "received multiple positive evaluations of my performance as a manager and unsolicited, positive feedback from a lot of people I work with"
There are many perspectives that can produce that result but that still result in you failing and getting canned. For example, you demand nothing of your team so they love you. You ask nothing of other teams you work with so they like you too. Your manager doesn't meet her objectives and has to account for that, and she (correctly) blames you. I'm sure you'll assume that if she was a cool white Republican bro that you wouldn't have that problem but that's not actually the case. But there is a greater chance he would call you in his office, tell you to do your fucking job or else you're fired than this woman who will probably see no reason to do that when firing you is preferable. |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 8:01 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Whoa, I certainly didn't expect this level of distorted and disgusting thinking, which is a certainly a product of fellating GC for decades. Fuck off with your nonsense and go bottom for your GC overlords you subhuman piece of trash! Thanks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604993) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 9:39 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot If you hate GC feel free not to work in GC. Go become a plumber or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605165) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:23 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot LMAO, the more senior you get the more of your time is spent in meetings. For lawyers most of your day is in meetings. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604751) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:26 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Most of my time at work is spent either being in meeting or preparing for meetings. And some meetings are to plan for other meetings. And sometimes we have meetings to "debrief" after having a meeting that we planned for in an earlier meeting. Please hand me a gun so that I can shoot myself in the head with a 100% chance of death. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604767) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:30 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot Absolutely. You will have "steering committee" meetings with exec sponsors and such and then a "working group" meeting with worker bees and their managers so you can socialize what comes out of the steering committee meetings and then 1:1 meetings with key stakeholders so you can align on progress and strategy so that when you have your next steering committee meeting you have all of your ducks in a row so things go the way you want. That's how the sausage actually gets made in megacorps. If you just want to sit and code then you need to get out of the management chain and go be an individual contributor again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604784) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:33 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic The problem is I don't like coding, either. It's just that it's turned out that I hate management even more than codecucking. But IC roles don't seem as stable and easy to get as they used to be due to AI. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604792) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:38 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot Ok, so then stfu and do your job (while at least faking being interested in moving things forward) or quit. The alternative is that you will get shitcanned because people like me absolutely can't stand people like this who often make everything harder rather than helping move things forward. You sound like you hate everything but frankly no one wants to hear it. At least try to understand the direction and figure out what you need to have your team do to make it happen. And yes, you are directly accountable for what your team does or fails to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604912) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:27 PM Author: vibrant national what is the purpose of meetings? phenotype expression? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604771) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:33 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot How do you think strategic decisions get made and communicated? How do projects get managed? How do you get others to take a strategic position that aligns with your interests? All of that is meetings. You may be meeting with people with shitty phenotypes in senior positions or great phenotypes in low level positions right before they get canned. Your whole phenotype schtick falls apart in corporate America. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604795) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:35 PM Author: Curious Locale You don't understand, clique theory is his Lived Experience (in high school. He's Jewish btw). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604854) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:39 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604916) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 11:24 PM Author: twisted tantric theatre (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605308) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:45 PM Author: hairraiser fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604952) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 9:38 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot I don't mean the communication to the entire company or tens of thousands of employees. Before that happens all the relevant senior people know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605161) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:51 PM Author: vibrant national how does it fall apart when CEOs are All Tall probably. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604966) |
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Date: January 21st, 2026 2:23 AM Author: Cracking coffee pot Absolutely, like Bezos, Zuch, Gates, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605544) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 7:36 PM Author: Internet-worthy Spot I hope your manager kills you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49604908) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 8:33 PM Author: adventurous clear site this is more proof of your faggotry than your normal faggotthreading (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605073) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 8:33 PM Author: Marvelous Psychic Thanks! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605075) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 8:48 PM Author: adventurous clear site kys, faggot, tyia! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605091) |
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Date: January 20th, 2026 9:40 PM Author: Cracking coffee pot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605167) |
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Date: January 21st, 2026 2:50 AM Author: Maniacal Set Age? Net worth? Any hope of FIRE?
On a less flippant note, I once worked with a guy who was one of the first employees at Intel (back when they were they were a superhot young company). He said that they had a rule that no chairs were allowed in meetings. Everyone had to stand for the entire meeting. The theory was that this would give people an incentive to call meetings only when absolutely necessary and to keep them as short as possible. I have shared this story from time to time when I was involved in organizations where I felt like we spent an excessive amount of time in meetings. Sometimes people got the message. It is harder lately when more and more meetings happen on Zoom. But it's the best suggestion I've got. |
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Date: January 21st, 2026 6:45 AM Author: Racy peach church Great story. OP what's your comp for putting up with this shitshow? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605612) |
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Date: January 21st, 2026 6:32 AM Author: orchid soggy brethren candlestick maker My business team is retarded and I'm getting paid like a senior counsel to be a GC because they're is no to little bonus multiple years in a row and the equity grant is worthless. I would love to get fired. I'm telling you this because you have one bright side to your story: at least you're not a lawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5824418&forum_id=2#49605609) |