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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/03/18
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Exciting bronze site windowlicker
  12/03/18
ty!
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Unholy hall
  12/03/18
...
Rose idea he suggested place of business
  12/24/21
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outnumbered church pervert
  12/03/18
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adventurous cerise marketing idea theater stage
  12/03/18
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Spruce stead idiot
  12/03/18
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Thirsty cumskin
  12/03/18
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Unholy hall
  12/03/18
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Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/07/18
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Floppy wild azn
  12/07/18
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razzle-dazzle narrow-minded piazza
  12/07/18
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mischievous pistol school cafeteria
  12/07/18
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Motley Dog Poop Step-uncle's House
  12/07/18
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Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/14/18
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sexy laughsome codepig
  12/14/18
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Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/18
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outnumbered church pervert
  12/24/18
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Salmon Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Indecent spot
  12/24/18
120
Ebony French Roast Beef
  12/24/18
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/18
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Ebony French Roast Beef
  12/24/18
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charcoal rigor
  12/24/18
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/18
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Supple overrated center
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Avocado Principal's Office Toilet Seat
  12/24/18
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/16/21
...
excitant indian lodge telephone
  12/24/18
...
Lascivious property athletic conference
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Vibrant Obsidian Rehab Partner
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  07/01/19
...
outnumbered church pervert
  07/01/19
...
outnumbered church pervert
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/10/19
getting close...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
180 crawly cruise ship reading party
  12/24/19
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
bull headed market mental disorder
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Concupiscible police squad den
  12/24/19
...
Racy public bath
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Avocado Principal's Office Toilet Seat
  12/24/19
lol
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
This
Rose idea he suggested place of business
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
twisted hideous lay roommate
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
...
Diverse office
  12/24/19
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Rose idea he suggested place of business
  12/24/19
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/19
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emerald black woman
  12/24/19
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Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/15/20
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Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/23/20
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Sinister Khaki Gas Station
  12/24/20
It's time.
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/24/20
...
razzle-dazzle narrow-minded piazza
  12/24/20
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/16/21
...
charcoal rigor
  12/16/21
...
Sinister Khaki Gas Station
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/20/21
Lmao
slippery church building
  12/20/21
...
Flatulent corner water buffalo
  12/22/21
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slippery church building
  12/22/21
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mind-boggling base clown
  12/24/21
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Rose idea he suggested place of business
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Exciting bronze site windowlicker

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Unholy hall

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Rose idea he suggested place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: outnumbered church pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: adventurous cerise marketing idea theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Spruce stead idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Thirsty cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Unholy hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Floppy wild azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle narrow-minded piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: mischievous pistol school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Motley Dog Poop Step-uncle's House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: sexy laughsome codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: outnumbered church pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Salmon Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Indecent spot

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Ebony French Roast Beef

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Ebony French Roast Beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: charcoal rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Supple overrated center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Avocado Principal's Office Toilet Seat

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: excitant indian lodge telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Lascivious property athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Vibrant Obsidian Rehab Partner

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: outnumbered church pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: outnumbered church pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: 180 crawly cruise ship reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: bull headed market mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Concupiscible police squad den

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Racy public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Avocado Principal's Office Toilet Seat

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Rose idea he suggested place of business

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: twisted hideous lay roommate

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Diverse office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Rose idea he suggested place of business

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: emerald black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Sinister Khaki Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle narrow-minded piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: charcoal rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Sinister Khaki Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: slippery church building

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Flatulent corner water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: slippery church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: mind-boggling base clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Rose idea he suggested place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538935)