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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
comical azure kitchen
  04/24/15
...
Citrine Unhinged Theater Stage
  04/24/15
...
abnormal black theatre athletic conference
  04/24/15
...
ocher outnumbered mental disorder community account
  04/24/15
did this today
copper laughsome shitlib locale
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Tantric digit ratio
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Exhilarant puce piazza gaping
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
aromatic filthy boiling water
  10/22/15
...
hairraiser saffron church
  10/22/15
...
fantasy-prone location
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
red tank abode
  10/22/15
...
comical azure kitchen
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
rusted site kitty cat
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
comical azure kitchen
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
rusted site kitty cat
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
comical azure kitchen
  05/16/16
...
Indigo party of the first part
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
carmine ape resort
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
emerald irradiated wrinkle university
  12/28/16
...
Indigo party of the first part
  11/11/20
...
Underhanded Candlestick Maker
  07/26/24
...
hateful business firm knife
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: comical azure kitchen

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Citrine Unhinged Theater Stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: abnormal black theatre athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: ocher outnumbered mental disorder community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: copper laughsome shitlib locale

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Tantric digit ratio

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Exhilarant puce piazza gaping

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: aromatic filthy boiling water

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: hairraiser saffron church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: fantasy-prone location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: red tank abode

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: comical azure kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: rusted site kitty cat

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: comical azure kitchen

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: rusted site kitty cat

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: comical azure kitchen

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Indigo party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: carmine ape resort

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: emerald irradiated wrinkle university

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Indigo party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Underhanded Candlestick Maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: hateful business firm knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2.#49414142)