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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/03/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Violent step-uncle's house chad
  12/03/18
ty!
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Crimson talented crotch selfie
  12/03/18
...
Nighttime vermilion casino reading party
  12/24/21
...
Beta whorehouse
  12/03/18
...
Sickened cocky roommate idiot
  12/03/18
...
Big-titted Abusive Weed Whacker Stage
  12/03/18
...
crystalline razzle son of senegal
  12/03/18
...
Crimson talented crotch selfie
  12/03/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/07/18
...
peach newt karate
  12/07/18
...
arousing unholy forum stain
  12/07/18
...
Alcoholic rehab
  12/07/18
...
Magical sex offender brunch
  12/07/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/14/18
...
Judgmental laughsome chapel
  12/14/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
Beta whorehouse
  12/24/18
...
adventurous know-it-all abode
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
mind-boggling trump supporter den
  12/24/18
120
henna garrison
  12/24/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
henna garrison
  12/24/18
...
low-t pistol
  12/24/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
smoky mental disorder
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
diverse twinkling uncleanness locale
  12/24/18
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
harsh trip hospital windowlicker
  12/24/18
...
costumed antidepressant drug
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
aromatic center
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  07/01/19
...
Beta whorehouse
  07/01/19
...
Beta whorehouse
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/10/19
getting close...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
Floppy Gold French Chef
  12/24/19
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
hairraiser glassy national
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Beady-eyed property headpube
  12/24/19
...
rose site place of business
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
diverse twinkling uncleanness locale
  12/24/19
lol
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
This
Nighttime vermilion casino reading party
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Gay parlour
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
mischievous base prole
  12/24/19
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Nighttime vermilion casino reading party
  12/24/19
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/19
...
bright violent skinny woman principal's office
  12/24/19
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/15/20
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/23/20
...
Olive Area
  12/24/20
It's time.
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/24/20
...
arousing unholy forum stain
  12/24/20
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/16/21
...
low-t pistol
  12/16/21
...
Olive Area
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/20/21
Lmao
Exhilarant Brethren
  12/20/21
...
Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse
  12/22/21
...
Exhilarant Brethren
  12/22/21
...
Transparent Yarmulke
  12/24/21
...
Nighttime vermilion casino reading party
  12/25/23
...
FBI person
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Violent step-uncle's house chad

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Crimson talented crotch selfie

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Nighttime vermilion casino reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Beta whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Sickened cocky roommate idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Big-titted Abusive Weed Whacker Stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: crystalline razzle son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Crimson talented crotch selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: peach newt karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: arousing unholy forum stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Alcoholic rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Magical sex offender brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Judgmental laughsome chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Beta whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: adventurous know-it-all abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: mind-boggling trump supporter den

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: henna garrison

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: henna garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: low-t pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: smoky mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: diverse twinkling uncleanness locale

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: harsh trip hospital windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: costumed antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: aromatic center

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Beta whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Beta whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Floppy Gold French Chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: hairraiser glassy national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Beady-eyed property headpube

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: rose site place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: diverse twinkling uncleanness locale

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Nighttime vermilion casino reading party

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Gay parlour

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: mischievous base prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Nighttime vermilion casino reading party

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: bright violent skinny woman principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Olive Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: arousing unholy forum stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: low-t pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Olive Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Exhilarant Brethren

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Appetizing stubborn meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Exhilarant Brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Transparent Yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Nighttime vermilion casino reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538935)