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Hypo: Would you rather have $3M or a 99 mph fastball?
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:32 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi Two options:
(1) You get $3M, tax free, in your account today.
(2) You can throw a fastball 99 mph with as much control and movement as the average MLB all-star pitcher. You can ratchet down to about 94 mph (and get a little more control when you do so). Below 94 mph and for pitches other than fastballs, you're IRL you in terms of what you're able to throw.
In terms of sustaining your fastball, you will have the longevity and injury proclivity of the average MLB rookie. It's possible you throw your arm out year one. It's possible you can still throw 99 mph in 10 years or more. The likelihood of each depends on how well you take care of your body.
Which do you pick? |
Date: October 20th, 2025 4:34 PM Author: purple fragrant area coffee pot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVhbCA2IXnA
would 100% have "lightning crashes" play every time i came out of the bullpen. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:37 PM Author: Vibrant Lay Take the $3M.
You're not going to have any success with just the fastball if you can't rely on any secondary pitches. You won't be able to compete when half the guys on today's pitching staffs throw upper-90s but also have the offspeed stuff to complement it. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:45 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi I have a decent curve ball already. Plus, I can try to develop an off-speed pitch to tunnel with the fastball. It would be a pretty good combo, and way more fun than just taking the $3M. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362360) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:49 PM Author: odious violet double fault point cr. the whole point of “off-speed” is it’s slower. if anything, i should be *more* equipped than your average fastballer to change it up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362373) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:57 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362392) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:01 AM Author: Brass nudist tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363332) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:34 AM Author: umber antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363345) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:52 AM Author: Navy Bat Shit Crazy Voyeur Party Of The First Part (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363360) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:39 PM Author: mahogany casino macaca 99 mph fastball
you'd make more than $3m over the course of washing out of baseball with the attributes describe in the OP |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:45 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi What's your plan? How long until you have an MLB contract? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362362) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:13 PM Author: mahogany casino macaca there are a lot of baseball people out there. if I really don't know anyone like a baseball scout, baseball coach, someone in the front office of a baseball team, etc., I go down to a baseball training facility (i.e., a baseball "gym") and show someone what I can do. ride the tryout circuit from there until I'm Rookie of The Year (starring Ralph Macchio as Thomas Ian Nicholas) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362443) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:50 PM Author: Diverse judgmental stock car love of her life make it a knuckleball and I might take it, but nobody is letting and oldmo into the big leagues just because he can throw heat at the park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362376) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:51 PM Author: odious violet double fault point not with that attitude, they aren’t. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362378) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 4:59 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi It's not just throwing heat. It's throwing 99 mph with as much control and movement as an MLB all star has on his fastball. Plus, you can develop other pithces to go with your fastball. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362396) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:43 PM Author: Floppy Abnormal Chapel Does the arm speed translate to other pitches too? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362502) |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 3:46 PM Author: cracking stubborn boistinker theater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49371905) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:01 PM Author: Exhilarant Hell Masturbator How old are we? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362400) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:02 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi You're you, IRL today. But, see the OP re the longevity of your arm in option 2. If you take care of yourself, there is a good chance you can get 10 years of quality high-speed pitching. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362405) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:10 PM Author: Exhilarant Hell Masturbator I take the $3mil.
Despite my outwardly xo poa top 1% appearance, I do not have a doctored birth certificate like many islanders. I dont like my chances of an MLB team coughing up the dough from day 1.
I do absolutely believe they would give you a deal out of curiosity, but it would be a morbid curiosity. Joe Bimel got a look at 44, but he was already a 10+ yr veteran. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:14 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi Why do you need a team to cough up the dough from day 1? If you can throw a curve ball for a strike, a decent off-speed pitch, and a 99 mph fastball with all-star level control, you can work your way to the majors and a real contract pretty quick. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362449) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:50 PM Author: Exhilarant Hell Masturbator I'd have to sign for a paltry bonus, if any, and make $2500 a month in the minors while trying to convince them that I can maek it without falling apart, all the while at risk of injury.
The other major flaw is that my curveball won't be effective when compared to my 94-99mph fastball. Pros will sit on my fastball and then hit my curve 525 feet when they see it a mile away at 78mph.
IF I did make it to the majors, I'm getting signed for league minimum, which will require many years before I beat the $3mil. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:05 PM Author: peach rigpig i'll take the fastball. i don't expect i'd be able to profit off it, but it would be pretty 180 to be a badling skinny fat lawyer and somehow be able to crank out a 99mph fastball. in fact i'd probably be able to generate some biz with that bar trick.
if i had $0 i'd take the $3m. the marginal value of $3m is not worth the value of something i could never earn or create at this point in my life. i'd probably just start playing a lot of baseball leagues for balding middle aged professionals and enjoy basking in the godhood of being a local legend. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:15 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi 180. Are you trying to make your way to the MLB, or just throwing gas in rec leagues? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362451) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:20 PM Author: peach rigpig your hypos are 180 because they always create a plausible path for daydreaming, middle-aged lawyers to make it in the majors. but no, i think it'd be an uphill battle especially since i'd have rec league defense.
it would actually be pretty 180 to be this mythical email job faggot who throws heaters in rec league. like "bro the guy that filed that motion throws a 100mph fastball. i'm serious man, we busted out a radar and everything." |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:28 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362482) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:39 PM Author: ebony location Accountant to NHL Goalie is close:
https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/26424427/15-minutes-insane-accountant-nhl-goalie |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:33 AM Author: umber antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363344) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:24 PM Author: ebony location Fastball easily, and have the time of my life throwing heaters for the Durham Bulls, Columbus Clippers etc. and with a chance I could get called up to be a one inning closer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362476) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:29 PM Author: Apoplectic depressive giraffe I pick 3 million and my couch tyvm. It's a great couch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362484) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:32 PM Author: heady zippy headpube faggotry $3 million.
I am afraid my talent would be overlooked since I don't really look like a big league pitcher. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:35 PM Author: Flushed trailer park $3M and not even close. baseball is shit and if you break your hand or whatever then you're unemployed for life. $3M you just plow into Tbills and get a fuck ton per month risk free and plow asian pussy in thailand until you die (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362491) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:36 PM Author: Yellow hateful dysfunction bbw 3 million. Easy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362492) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:36 PM Author: ungodly locus therapy $3 million easily. need to add 15 mph to the fastball to make it interesting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362493) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 5:51 PM Author: Arrogant mental disorder Cash. Any attempt to monetize the pitching would take me away from my family too often (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362527) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 6:37 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi MLB pitchers are only on the road 81 games per year, they probably have a pretty good time on the road, and they are off completely (in most cases) from circa October 1-February 10. I'd probably spend more time with my family as an MLB pithcer than as a lawmo, not less. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362641) |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 5:19 PM Author: Arrogant mental disorder 6 months with >50% of your time on the road would be an awful lot of time away from home. I actually like my wife and children and don’t want to miss the few years I have left before they start heading to college (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49372304) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 6:39 PM Author: Salmon Talented School Cafeteria Fanboi Everyone ITT saying they'd take the money is very lame. Not only is there a decent chance that you make more than $3M (plus your otherwise foregone wages) taking the fastball, it would be way, way more fun to be great at something and try to maek it than it would to keep chasing commas. And you can always go back to the comma chasing and thank emails, with some great stories to boot, if you don't make it to the Show. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362645) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 1:09 PM Author: Brass nudist tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49364052) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 6:42 PM Author: Milky death wish son of senegal I don’t think the Scouts would take me tbh. They like Tall Guys, like, a lot, imho. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362646) |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 8:18 PM Author: Primrose Bull Headed Pocket Flask Milk I don't think most people ITT are appreciating the piece of the OP where he says the fastball is equivalent to the average "MLB All-Star." That raises your EV significantly vs just being an average major leaguer. But yeah given that most of us can't throw a curveball/slider/changeup, and it's not clear if we could in this hypo, there's very few guys that can be a successful MLB reliever with less than 2 pitches, and very few starters with less than 3.
I think I'd take the arm, just because I'd get a hotter wife that way, and I could always go into sales as a jock chad if I blew my arm out. |
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Date: October 20th, 2025 8:38 PM Author: Adventurous Roommate Cruise Ship I’ll take the money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49362922) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:06 AM Author: Chestnut Vigorous Abode I'm Asian, Poor, and don't know anything about Sport so I'd take the 3m, as much as it pains me. The risk of fucking my arm up just makes it worse. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363333) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 2:54 AM Author: Navy Bat Shit Crazy Voyeur Party Of The First Part Can I throw from the set? My career as a pitcher ended cause I couldn't do it worth shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363362) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 9:59 AM Author: red sexy spot 99 mph fastball if you're a cripple/wheelchairmo/midget/freak (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49363625) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 12:24 PM Author: Slippery Deranged Volcanic Crater Step-uncle's House You can be effective as a 2-pitch reliever with an A+ fastball and any reasonable offspeed pitch that the hitter can’t pick up from your windup. Since my 99 MPH fastball is achieved by magic/god’s gift, I think it would be tough to mask the tells on my offspeed pitches such that hitters could either pick up timing on the fastball or treat the offspeed pitches like batting practice. The virtue of being a Greg Maddux level pitcher is that the balls look identical coming out of your hand and most hitters cannot discern speed and adjust timing accurately.
I’d still give it a shot as pitching is vastly better than money. |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 1:03 PM Author: territorial garrison $3m. I'm not going to become a pro baseball player. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49364039) |
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Date: October 21st, 2025 1:03 PM Author: Flushed trailer park too many spics and niggers around you in baseball. whites are all white trash. i'd take the $3M based on this alone (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49364040) |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 5:26 PM Author: grizzly ticket booth blood rage herro who a jus join (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49372312) |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 5:23 PM Author: azure excitant queen of the night principal's office 3M
zero interest in trying to be a pro baseball player. 162 games + spring training? no thanks |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 5:52 PM Author: bateful bearded plaza generalized bond My God what a bunch of risk-averse faggots you all are.
You could be a god-like legend of the sport, beloved by all, as the 46-y/o dude whiffing ohtani as you hit triple digits with your heat. The explosion of belly cheers in american family field from the hordes of bearded dudes jumping up involuntarily the very microsecond you strike out the side. You'd be an icon to every middle-aged cubicle monkey in America. A River to your People. You'd show that It can be done. You may have a real hand in the American comeback story, as you inspire millions to say fuck libs. You literally owe it to your country to choose the heater.
The idea that you would opt for the equivalent of a memorable-but-not-the-firm's-best-ever TCPA settlement really makes me pity you frightened, boring, and/or azn faggots. |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 9:33 PM Author: Arrogant mental disorder God that sounds tiresome. Imagine being beloved by *shudder* baseball fans (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49373039) |
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Date: October 24th, 2025 6:00 PM Author: Lascivious Halford $3M invested very conservatively gets me six figures in passive income every year. Combine that with my current 401k and I can retire tomorrow. Being able to do whatever I want for the rest of my life is worth more to me than the potential to earn more as an MLB pitcher, especially since pitching would take up all of my time during the MLB season for at least several years. And that's assuming that an MLB franchise is willing to sign a slightly overweight unknown dude in his late 40's, which is not a given despite a wicked fastball. Now if I were still in my 20's, I'd take the fastball and never look back. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5788102&forum_id=2.#49372406) |