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Hypo: marathon vs 100 elite runners w/ weighted vests = to your weight-theirs
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 3:33 PM Author: mildly autistic newt Tomorrow, you and everyone who finished in the top 100 at the 2026 Boston marathon will be magically transported to Boston. The marathon course will be opened/roads will be closed to traffic, and the 101 of you will run the marathon.
Each of the elite runners will wear a weighted vest that weighs your weight minus the runner's weight. E.g., if you weigh 180 and a runner weighs 120, that runner's vest will weigh 60 pounds. Runners who weigh as much or more than you will not wear a vest.
All runners will make a good faith effort to finish the race as fast as they reasonably can, without slowing down or taking it easy because they're afraid they might get injured wearing a weighted vest or because it'll mess up their training for their next race.
What place will you finish in? |
Date: June 2nd, 2026 3:47 PM Author: Charismatic round eye 101st. My cardio is terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911376) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:32 PM Author: mildly autistic newt You wouldn't even need cardio to beat some of them. Just walk at a brisk pace for 6-7 hours. Some of these guys have very little muscle and would struggle to carry 50-70 extra pounds or more over that distance. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911445) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 3:48 PM Author: Mustard shaky twinkling uncleanness 101. Weight difference for me wouldn't make a sizable difference and many would carry none at all (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911378) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 3:52 PM Author: Impertinent Orchestra Pit Nibblets I ran a 5 minute mile last year and I would finish last (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911388) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:03 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann id finish top 10. elite marathon runners weigh like 130 pounds. i weigh 215, that 85 pound vest would be completely debilitating to most of them. i could finish in 4 hours and that would be enough. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911401) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:08 PM Author: Mustard shaky twinkling uncleanness You think you could run this in four hours tomorrow? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911412) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:13 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann ok im not actively training for a marathon but i do run 35 miles a week. maybe 4.5 hours to be conservative. point is i dont think 90% of the elites could finish. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911424) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:19 PM Author: Impertinent Orchestra Pit Nibblets Their power to weight ratio is worse but they still have far superior vo2 max
Do you think you could beat prime lance armstrong up a hill if he had a weighted pack on? He could beat you pulling a trailer with his kids and groceries |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:21 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann lance armstrong absolutely not. i think thats a completely different proposition to running a 26.2 mile race with two thirds of your body weight tacked on in a vest. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911435) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:38 PM Author: mildly autistic newt Is vo2 max the main factor here? A guy who weighs 135 and is weighering a 60 pound vest will be struggling with his leg muscles generating enough force again and again, not getting out of breath like he's sprinting.
Cycling News says Lance weighed 165 in his racing days. I couldn't beat him in a footreace up a hill if he were wearing a 30 pound vest. I could if he had on 60 pounds. And a lot of these marathoners are closer to 130 and would have on 60 pounds or more. |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:25 AM Author: snowy lodge kitty You run 5 miles every day and weigh 215?
Youre probly full of shit. |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:32 AM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann i run 7.5 every other day and 2.5 on the other days (when i lift). not flame. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912581) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:34 AM Author: snowy lodge kitty Do you have kids? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912583) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:35 AM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann wouldnt disclose it on xo if i did, why (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912585) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:43 PM Author: offensive disgusting ceo cruise ship are you 6'6"? how are you that heavy and run that much (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911468) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:45 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann i have a lot of muscle and also drink too much beer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911471) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:44 PM Author: Twisted Razzle Double Fault Some of the elites may be 170 lbs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914093) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 10:16 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann dont think so. according to gemini "The heaviest elite competitive marathoners typically range from 70 to 75 kg (154 to 165 lbs). For example, 19th-century champion Lawrence Brignolia, who won the 1899 Boston Marathon, is still considered the heaviest historic elite winner at 73 kg (161 lbs)."
most of them are more in the 120-140 lb range |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:39 PM Author: mildly autistic newt Finally another athlete ITT. Most of these marathanors would struggle to jog for any portion of the race. Many would struggle even to keep walking mile after mile. An 85 pound vest is a ton, especially for a guy who only weighs 130. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911450) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:41 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann ti,oc,tcr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911461) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:57 PM Author: Mustard shaky twinkling uncleanness Finally an athlete! The beer belly jeet says to another. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911495) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:58 PM Author: brass plaza patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911500) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 5:19 PM Author: Comical personal credit line state the number of centuries you scored in higher secondary school before i engage you further. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911525) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 6:53 PM Author: mildly autistic newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911726) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 6:51 PM Author: Impertinent Orchestra Pit Nibblets (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911717) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 6:56 PM Author: Abnormal home faggotry Elite athlete checking in here. Played a little club ball in college. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911734) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 7:48 PM Author: offensive disgusting ceo cruise ship Hahaha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911827) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 1:18 PM Author: Trip startling hall factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912904) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:44 PM Author: Twisted Razzle Double Fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914094) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 4:54 PM Author: brass plaza patrolman delusional fatty thread I do not weigh meaningfully more than elite marathon runners and have not seriously run anything longer than a 10k since HS XC, I would be insanely lucky to beat anyone |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 5:00 PM Author: mildly autistic newt How much do you weigh?
I weigh 200 and ran 5 very hilly miles in 40 minutes this morning. Many of the runners I race would have on 60-70 pound vests. Nearly all would have on at least 40 pounds. How are they keeping up mile after mile?
I could jog the first 13 miles, then alternate between briskly walking and jogging for the next 13 miles. There is no way most of them are keeping up. |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 5:18 PM Author: brass plaza patrolman 140 at 5'11" now, was closer to 130 as a serious runner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911524) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 6:55 PM Author: mildly autistic newt 140 at 5'11" is pretty slim. And yeah, for you, the runners wouldn't be wearing heavy vests. People who weigh 180+ but can still run would beat a lot of the elite marathoners. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911730) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:49 PM Author: Twisted Razzle Double Fault Have you run a marathon? You’d be getting passed like crazy for miles 18-26. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914105) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 5:08 PM Author: indecent bossy forum digit ratio disco would walk and win easily (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911517) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 6:04 PM Author: awkward claret principal's office I don’t know enough about the distribution of body weights in elite runners. Or if there are any women in the top 100 finishers.
Like, all of the 120lb runners are going to be wearing 90lb vests to match my weight. I bet most of them DNF. But how many 180lb men are both strong and fast and only going to be carrying 30lbs. I don’t necessarily love my chances vs them because I don’t run… ever. |
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Date: June 2nd, 2026 7:53 PM Author: Bearded Whorehouse Liquid Oxygen i couldn't finish a marathon at all (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49911850) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:18 AM Author: Jet flatulent main people I’d bet I could place top 5. My current half-marathon splits are around 8:00/mile. A full marathon I would probably be up closer to 9:00/mile.
I’ve done tons of 12-mile ruck marches with a 35-50lb ruck sack, constituting 300-400 other individuals combined in total. The target pace on those is 15:00/mile. I’ve never seen someone break 10:00/mile. And that’s a mere 12 miler with ~40lbs, done by people who were training for it. I’m 220lbs, so most of those top 100 finishers are going to be strapping 70-80lbs on. I would bet most wash out. |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 11:40 AM Author: mildly autistic newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912745) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 2:35 PM Author: passionate market when I used to run, I was doing a solid 70 miles/week and did a marathon almost two decades ago. I ran that marathon at about 185 lbs. I'd imagine most elite runners with 70-80 lbs added would not complete 26.2 miles. As it is right now, I could probably get through a full marathon in about 6 hours. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913179) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:22 AM Author: saffron cracking stag film community account I weigh 130. Of course I would finish last. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912562) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 11:41 AM Author: mildly autistic newt What's the point of only weighing 130 if you don't have good cardio? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912749) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 11:43 AM Author: Mustard shaky twinkling uncleanness for me and dbg the question is different than fat people's answers here. for us the question boils down to "could you run against the fastest 100 marathon runners and win?" |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 11:49 AM Author: saffron cracking stag film community account correct. the hypo is retarded for xo twinks. i've probably got top 3-5% good cardio for a 40+ lawyer with kids, but why the fuck would i not finish last in a marathon with the best in the world? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912762) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:47 AM Author: Hairless codepig The heaviest man wins this. Let's say you've got somebody who weighs 300 or 350. He's probably out of shape and would be walking the marathon, suffering a lot, and finishing in 6-8 hours and cursing his fate the whole time. But those little scrawny marathon guys probably can't even finish the first quarter mile, weighing like 150 and having a vest on that weighs 150-200 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912600) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 11:43 AM Author: mildly autistic newt Let's say the course closes after 10 hours, and everyone who DNF by then is equally DQ'ed. There is some weight past which most people couldn't amble 26 miles in 10 hours and would be DQ'ed along with all the runners who couldn't move with 200+ pound vests. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49912751) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 2:37 PM Author: passionate market it's probably 300 lbs tbh. I'm at the sweet spot at 250 lbs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913183) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 6:21 PM Author: mildly autistic newt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913720) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:05 PM Author: Hairless codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914036) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:49 PM Author: Twisted Razzle Double Fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914108) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 3:02 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann itt: angry tay-sachs twink jews get upset at men who work out (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913221) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 7:50 PM Author: brass plaza patrolman ask your doctor about Eli Lilly® Zepbound fatty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913873) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 8:38 PM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann my whoop age is 9.3 years younger than actual age, im in great shape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49913972) |
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Date: June 4th, 2026 9:07 AM Author: Abnormal home faggotry how's the hairline though? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914457) |
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Date: June 4th, 2026 9:50 AM Author: Curious Ruddy Background Story Boltzmann hairline secure but getting a fair amount of grays (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5870635&forum_id=2.#49914514) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2026 9:43 PM Author: Twisted Razzle Double Fault Grok says casual marathoners running ~4hrs will finish in the 70-80s. I’m heavy and run slower than that so I think I beat 5 people.
Grok says that heavier elites will still beat even very good age groupers (3:15) |